The Student Room Group

21 and never been kissed

Yes, sorry, it's another one of 'those threads' :redface: but whenever I think about the issue (I try not to) it does make me feel a bit down.

Throughout uni. and high school I have liked certain guys, but it's never been reciprocated. I think this is more a question of my own bad luck than my being particularly hideous-looking, but I'm just concerned that no-one is ever going to be the person who shows an interest in me, rather than the other way around.

I'm going back to uni for postgrad. this year (so, unless something miraculous happens between then and now, I can say I'm 22 and have never been kissed :p:) but I'm just concerned that the same thing will happen again. I don't really know what this thread is for...obviously there isn't really anything you can guys can help me with re. advice, but is there anyone out there in a similar situation age-wise?

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Reply 1

Sure we could help you, we could kiss you.


At 21 I've never been kissed either.
I feel a bit down about it, but I'm not afraid to tell it.

Reply 2

Don't worry about it!
Your time will come.... :smile:

Reply 3

Meet more guys?

I think the real tricky thing is that even in this day and age women aren't expected to make the first move. My only real advice is don't waste your time waiting for the perfect special moment, life isn't a hollywood film. Even if it turns out a bit odd you'll look back and appreciate it in a certain way.

Reply 4

Go out have good times, it will happen when it happens. Maybe there is a part of your personality that makes people think your unaproachable this way....take a step back and look at yourself from how you think other people would percieve you. If you are for example moody or arrogant etc then people generally wouldnt feel comfortable doing this kind of thing with you...

Reply 5

I'm 20, I've kissed a few toads, but i've never kissed a guy i've genuinely liked or been in a relationship. i think its down to me turning guys down, not giving them a chance and having low self esteem. I think its about time I'm in a relationship, afterall my confidence has grown and I know I would be suitable. But my main current problem is having no clear sign of flirting from other guys, thus meaning I accidently ignore them, just in fear of rejection.
I've spent lots of time ttrying to figure my isues and reasons out. Just give it time and think about the possible reasons, and how you can solve them.

Reply 6

Well I can only tell you that you are not alone.
I'm 21 (male) and also never been kissed and never received a compliment or any sign of interest from a female.
I can't really help you since I'm quite desperate, too. In fact I'm quite scared that when I finally meet a nice girl who is also interested in me, that she would be really put off and think that I'm a loser if I told her.
As a girl it should be quite easy to get a kiss. At least a desperate guy like me would kiss any girl when drunk if there only was an opportunity.

Reply 7

Anonymous


but I'm just concerned that no-one is ever going to be the person who shows an interest in me, rather than the other way around.



unless thats actually happened, i suggest you have little to be worried about :smile:.

still, i wouldnt let your age discourage you, theres never an "ideal age" for a first smooch.

your time will come indeed, and oh boy will it be good :wink: :smile:.

Reply 8

I think having that attitude gives you a bit of a vicious cycle. When we were about 17, I nearly had a thing with one of my best friends who made it to about 19 having never been kissed. It was one of those both liking each other but never being sure it was reciprocated things. I vividly remember one night trying to get up the guts to kiss him, but him being completely oblivious and (because he was so locked in the mindset of never been kissed, won't be kissed until find a girlfriend) never giving me the green light. I didn't quite have the balls to jump on him unannounced :p:

Do you actually flirt with guys, or do you just passively sit there thinking well of course he doesn't like me back so i'll never say anything?

Reply 9

No, the guys I liked DEFINITELY knew I liked them, hah :p: It just gets a bit tiring being the one who has to initiate stuff, and then continually being rebuffed. And yes, I don't just 'want to kiss someone' - I'd want it to be in a relationship, so all those things are tied up together. Personally, I kind of marvel more at people who in a relationship, as to me, the odds of two people liking each other reciprocally (although obviously the more conventionally attractive an individual is, the more people should like them, theoretically) seem much lower than two people not liking each other.

Reply 10

Do what i did, get hammered, then find someone and snog them. I didnt know i was snogging them untill halfway through lol.

Anyone else done that?

Reply 11

How about going clubbing a few times and just make out with some random guy?

^^Oh yea :wink:

Reply 12

Anonymous
Yes, sorry, it's another one of 'those threads' :redface: but whenever I think about the issue (I try not to) it does make me feel a bit down.

Throughout uni. and high school I have liked certain guys, but it's never been reciprocated. I think this is more a question of my own bad luck than my being particularly hideous-looking, but I'm just concerned that no-one is ever going to be the person who shows an interest in me, rather than the other way around.

I'm going back to uni for postgrad. this year (so, unless something miraculous happens between then and now, I can say I'm 22 and have never been kissed :p:) but I'm just concerned that the same thing will happen again. I don't really know what this thread is for...obviously there isn't really anything you can guys can help me with re. advice, but is there anyone out there in a similar situation age-wise?


i'm 19, never been kissed, but its not because i've not had the chance.. because i have, i've just chosen not to because i'd be kissing random guys i have no feelings for, which some people - and fair enough, don't mind that.

if you want to kiss someone for the hell of kissin, go out to some club in town, get drunk, and pull a guy.. easy as! you won't remember it, and they won't mind it, and if you're really convinced you're THAT hidious (trust.. it takes a LOT to be hidious) a club's perfect because you can just about make out who a person is!!

on the other hand if you want a meaningful kiss, take your time. like someone else said, try and meet more guys somehow.. through friends and their friends etc, and opportunities will arise for dates and stuff, but it'll be worth the wait i'm sure :smile:

don't mind me askin what makes you think you're so hidious? is it just because you've never had a bf.. because i know some STUNNERS who're single and have never had bf's or kissed, so thats not a valid reason.

Reply 13

No, I don't think I'm hideous - I said I think it's more a question of my bad luck than me being necessarily unattractive. :p:

Reply 14

Anonymous
No, I don't think I'm hideous - I said I think it's more a question of my bad luck than me being necessarily unattractive. :p:


Your what 21?

Not 50, your time will come and when it does it will be special for you. After that there be no stopping you, id want to see you on a nightout hehe

:cool:

Reply 15

Anonymous
No, I don't think I'm hideous - I said I think it's more a question of my bad luck than me being necessarily unattractive. :p:


there you go.. you're worrying over nothing!
it'll be worth the wait, just have a bit more confidence in yourself and just enjoy what there is.. enjoy what you are, enjoy your life.. and guys like confidence so, your confidence will make it easier for you to meet guys and potentially attract them (rather than the typical, they attract you).

Reply 16

In our age you might feel pressurised into thinking like this, if nothing else. I don't think there is anything wrong with you, apart from the attitude and it is a vicious cycle unfortunately.

I'm 22 and I've kissed many guys, but I've never been in a proper relationship. I have been head over heels with a couple of guys too, but those longings were never reciprocated, so I can understand where you're coming from.
I've been single for 3 years now and I'm single *by default*. But that's also because I've realised that I have really high expectations. There were many guys that I think I could have loved if I let love grow, but then I chickened out.

Do you have a sort of yearning for a relationship now, or is it just the peer pressure that, let's face it, is always there in the background? (Why else would you be thinking that you're in a strange position!) If the former, then maybe you could try going out with someone that you might not find the perfect date. Most relationships begin like that. Keep an open mind. Or if the second (like me) then busy yourself with the things you like doing but never ever think about being weird or anything. Chances are there's bound to be someone one day soon that you consider perfect all round.

Reply 17

I know it gets you down, but try not to think of it as such a big deal- you say you want to be kissed as part of a relationship, so just relax until you find somebody who you want to be with, and it will happen. Honestly, you shouldn't feel like a 'freak' about it. Maybe my view will change when I'm 21, but I'm 18 and I've never been kissed either- not because I've never had the opportunity or anything, but I'm a bit like you and would rather it be in a relationship. It doesn't really make a huge difference in my life, I don't get down about it- there are plenty of other things to and to enjoy. You never know, if you just go out, have fun, maybe hang around in places where you meet guys easily, you may meet somebody and have your kiss :smile:. But worrying about it will just depress you x

Reply 18

if you think about it, it wont happen- thats the way things go! its typical.
just enjoy yourself, you're young free and single! ... and when your least expecting it thats when it will happen. good luck :smile:

Reply 19

i'm 18 and i've never been kissed. Our time will come :smile: