how to breakup with a guy I just got with???

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Anonymous #1
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Recently me and this guy at college told each other we liked each other and so later that week he asked to be boyfriend and girlfriend and I said yes. After a few days of being together he is texting me 24/7 and is constantly wanting to talk and meet up when I need to be studying. What do I do? I don't think he is my type either but we only just got together and I don't want to hurt him.
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mizanchez
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Say its you its the food, you keep wiping ur bottox on my doughnuts!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mizanchez)
Say its you its the food, you keep wiping ur bottox on my doughnuts!
sorry what ???
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asif007
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Just tell him you’re studying, you need some space and you’ll talk to him when you’re free? It’s not rocket science.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by asif007)
Just tell him you’re studying, you need some space and you’ll talk to him when you’re free? It’s not rocket science.
that's what I do tell him but then he tells me its torture not talking to me and I feel super bad
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mariedamme
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How long did you like him before you told each other you liked each other? Honestly, as harsh as it is, if you don't like him you need to end things ASAP. The longer it goes on, the more it'll hurt. If you do like if you, but you're just getting stressed by him being pretty full-on, maybe just have a conversation with him about it? Just explain that you really like him, but you have other things in your life which require your time and attention. Maybe organise times that you'll keep open for each other, and times where you need to have alone time to focus on work. Just explain that it isn't because you don't like spending time with him, but that you need to focus on your work and it's feeling a bit intense.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mariedamme)
How long did you like him before you told each other you liked each other? Honestly, as harsh as it is, if you don't like him you need to end things ASAP. The longer it goes on, the more it'll hurt. If you do like if you, but you're just getting stressed by him being pretty full-on, maybe just have a conversation with him about it? Just explain that you really like him, but you have other things in your life which require your time and attention. Maybe organise times that you'll keep open for each other, and times where you need to have alone time to focus on work. Just explain that it isn't because you don't like spending time with him, but that you need to focus on your work and it's feeling a bit intense.
I do really like him but my work comes first and I don't want to make things awkward if he takes it the wrong way
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
that's what I do tell him but then he tells me its torture not talking to me and I feel super bad
That is a MAJOR red flag - it’s straight up manipulative. If he’s already acting like that in the beginning, there’s a chance he’ll get worse as it goes on. You shouldn’t feel bad - you aren’t doing anything wrong. He survived without you before, he can survive without you for a few hours.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That is a MAJOR red flag - it’s straight up manipulative. If he’s already acting like that in the beginning, there’s a chance he’ll get worse as it goes on. You shouldn’t feel bad - you aren’t doing anything wrong. He survived without you before, he can survive without you for a few hours.
how do I break up with him though as we only just 'got together'?
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mariedamme
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do really like him but my work comes first and I don't want to make things awkward if he takes it the wrong way
I agree with you completely on your work coming first - my sister got into a relationship with a guy who was (sorry if this offends you) pretty needy, like this guy, and ended up messing up her A-levels because of all the time she was investing in him. I just don't think it's worth it if he won't consider how you're feeling in the relationship. If he's a nice guy, he may be a bit embarrassed, but he'll be considerate about how you're feeling. Personally though, from what you've said I'd be a little bit wary. Like Anonymous #2 said, it's a pretty unhealthy approach to a relationship. Couples that are too intense and full-on tend to crash and burn.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how do I break up with him though as we only just 'got together'?
I mean it does depend on whether you want to or not. If you do want to, you’re going to have to just admit you’re worried about not being able to balance a relationship with all your work, and that you have to prioritise. Apologise for upsetting him, but be firm about it. Also - do it in person DEFINITELY. It’s harder, but it’s a lot cleaner and it’s the decent thing to do.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mariedamme)
I agree with you completely on your work coming first - my sister got into a relationship with a guy who was (sorry if this offends you) pretty needy, like this guy, and ended up messing up her A-levels because of all the time she was investing in him. I just don't think it's worth it if he won't consider how you're feeling in the relationship. If he's a nice guy, he may be a bit embarrassed, but he'll be considerate about how you're feeling. Personally though, from what you've said I'd be a little bit wary. Like Anonymous #2 said, it's a pretty unhealthy approach to a relationship. Couples that are too intense and full-on tend to crash and burn.
yeah I don't want that to happen as these exams are quite important. I text him when im not revising but I just end up ignoring him with isn't good. He also said something along the lines of: 'you're going to be doing less revision right?' just because I didn't text him as much as I usually do.
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Ya_k
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You need to just straight up tell him that for this relationship to work he needs to accept the priorities in your life, part of a relationship is to be able to adapt to each other, and if he can't do that then it's over.
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mariedamme
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah I don't want that to happen as these exams are quite important. I text him when im not revising but I just end up ignoring him with isn't good. He also said something along the lines of: 'you're going to be doing less revision right?' just because I didn't text him as much as I usually do.
Personally doesn't sound to healthy to me, but I tend to veer away from guys who I view as clingy, but I know loads of girls who view it as attentive so idk. If you're getting stressed by it, I'd suggest talking to him about it. If he doesn't respond well, it might just be best to end things with him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mariedamme)
Personally doesn't sound to healthy to me, but I tend to veer away from guys who I view as clingy, but I know loads of girls who view it as attentive so idk. If you're getting stressed by it, I'd suggest talking to him about it. If he doesn't respond well, it might just be best to end things with him.
ok tysm
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mariedamme
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(Original post by Anonymous)
ok tysm
hope things go well!!
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Adz2042
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how do I break up with him though as we only just 'got together'?
You don't break up with someone immediately because they won't give you space. Maybe it's their first relationship and they don't know how to deal with this scenario??
Show him your work timetable, and explain to him calmly that you'll be free to message / meet up / speak during lunch or a given time of the day, but your work comes first and education is important.
If he cannot respect your decision on that, then mention again it's important for you and he needs to respect your decisions.
If an argument occurs, walk away. Do not encourage or increase the tension that is there, because this will lead to a brutal breakup / something hurtful.
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