I am sleeping with my best friends boyfriend

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Before people start to judge me, I had no intentions of this happening. I just happened to get along well with him and we had a connection.

My best friend is always *****ing about him and is quite emotionally distant towards him. She really is hard on him and he is a lovely guy.

I have been best friends with this girl for the past 10 years and I have been sleeping with her boyfriend for the past 8 months.

I knew he fancied me when we first met.

It started when I my best friend went on a girls holiday without him and he felt sad. I invited him over for a glass of wine and we couldn't resist the intimacy.

Since then we have been doing it behind her back and I can't stop myself. I think we love each other.

I know what I'm doing is terrible and awful, but Im not a bad person. I just dont know what to do going forward.

Should I suggest to the boyfriend that we come clean and try to make things work? Do we both just ghost her to spare her feelings?

He feels the same about me too but I dont want to hurt her.

I would love us to remain friends with her but I don't think its likely.

What would you do if you were me?
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MrMusician95
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I have no respect for people like you and the boyfriend. You didn't even say "slept", you said "sleeping". You don't feel bad at all yet you claim you don't want to hurt her? You're ready to ghost her over a guy, you don't really seem like a "best" friend. You're a terrible person, but she deserves to know the truth. Know you have probably lost someone you claimed to be bestfriends with over this. I hope you're happy.
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5hyl33n
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No. I am going to judge you. Re-read your post and hopefully you will understand how wrong it is, what you are doing.


What ever happened to friends before boys...?
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StriderHort
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I'd maybe reevaluate your definition of 'bad person', there's no mystery here, you wanted something and took it, and in the cold light of day continue to do so.

He sounds a 'lovely' guy obv, everyone knows the loveliest guys have affairs and wreck friendships
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by 5hyl33n)
No. I am going to judge you. Re-read your post and hopefully you will understand how wrong it is, what you are doing.


What ever happened to friends before boys...?
It's not even about friends before boys, that her so called best friend boyfriend. Not even an ex, someone she's currently seeing. I also love how people posting stuff this terrible always go anon on this site, before claiming they're not a bad person.
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by StriderHort)
I'd maybe reevaluate your definition of 'bad person', there's no mystery here, you wanted something and took it, and in the cold light of day continue to do so.

He sounds a 'lovely' guy obv, everyone knows the loveliest guys have affairs and wreck friendships
PRSOM

Exactly, I don't think "lovely" guys are ones that cheat for eight months.
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Anonymous #2
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What would I do? I would never find myself in the situation because I'm not a naive narcissist. I have respect for my friends and I'm not so desperate for a relationship I'd get with a guy who can't keep his legs closed. Who knows what stds you're crawling with. You talk about not having "bad intentions", what a joke you are 😂.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
It's not even about friends before boys, that her so called best friend boyfriend. Not even an ex, someone she's currently seeing. I also love how people posting stuff this terrible always go anon on this site, before claiming they're not a bad person.
I think you are being really judgemental about this situation.You haven't been in a situation before where you have had strong chemistry with someone who is not available.He feels the same, and we accidently got close.What do yo expect us to do about it? Pretend it's not there? You are being too conservative about this.
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Sammylou40
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I’m not going to judge. Just state facts.
He’s not a lovely guy. He’s cheating very close to home and is likely to continue that pattern of behaviour
Ghost her? Lousy thing to do. Stand by your actions and face her properly.
So you don’t hurt her?
Unless she’s made of marble you’ve already done that. She just doesn’t know it yet
Neither of you are worthy of her friendship
Tell her what you’ve done and leave her alone. Trying to maintain a friendship benefits you and your conscience. Truly awful behaviour
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StriderHort
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
PRSOM

Exactly, I don't think "lovely" guys are ones that cheat for eight months.
If anything i'm generally baffled that people who start a relationship based on this kind of cheating expect to be somehow treated better. It's like the crazies that write to strange prisoners "Dear Jimmy 'Women Strangler Everytime' McKiller, u r fab, can we hook up? Signed, Vulnerable Woman, address enclosed. xx" :rolleyes:
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think you are being really judgemental about this situation.You haven't been in a situation before where you have had strong chemistry with someone who is not available.He feels the same, and we accidently got close.What do yo expect us to do about it? Pretend it's not there? You are being too conservative about this.
LOL, I have been in that situation before. I told her that when she's single to hmu. I'm not going to be the reason a guy gets cheated on, I've been cheated on and it sucks. And that's with a guy I don't know, if it was a close friend of mine I'd tell him myself that his girlfriend wants to be unfaithful. Also, it's not like you slept with him once, felt really bad and stopped. You've been sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend for eight months. How can you think that that's okay?
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pinesandapples2001
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Tell your best friend. It's not fair on her to waste her time time like a guy like that. It's not fair on her to live through this deception. Come clean asap.
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Matureb
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To paraphrase Sheldon Cooper - Do you mean he accidentally slipped and fell into your lady parts?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
LOL, I have been in that situation before. I told her that when she's single to hmu. I'm not going to be the reason a guy gets cheated on, I've been cheated on and it sucks. And that's with a guy I don't know, if it was a close friend of mine I'd tell him myself that his girlfriend wants to be unfaithful. Also, it's not like you slept with him once, felt really bad and stopped. You've been sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend for eight months. How can you think that that's okay?
Because we have a much stronger connection and she treats him like crap.

In life you can't help who you fall in love with.

You clearly haven't experienced true love.
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Spanx
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
I have no respect for people like you and the boyfriend. You didn't even say "slept", you said "sleeping". You don't feel bad at all yet you claim you don't want to hurt her? You're ready to ghost her over a guy, you don't really seem like a "best" friend. You're a terrible person, but she deserves to know the truth. Know you have probably lost someone you claimed to be bestfriends with over this. I hope you're happy.
At least there's no judgement. It's nice to see that there are people on here who give the op the advice and reassurance they need to be happy.

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MrMusician95
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(Original post by Spanx)
At least there's no judgement. It's nice to see that there are people on here who give the op the advice and reassurance they need to be happy.

Why wouldn't I judge the OP?
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because we have a much stronger connection and she treats him like crap.

In life you can't help who you fall in love with.

You clearly haven't experienced true love.
LOL just stop. Have you ever thought why he's happy to sleep with you for eight months and not end it with her? If he does, I guarantee he cheats on you with another girl after he makes her think he loves her.
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username2199397
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If she really was your best friend she would put your frendship above your relationship with her/yours bf
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Quick-use
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#19
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You've both been doing this for 8 months, she apparently treats him like crap and he's still not broken up with her?

I feel sorry for your friend. Her best friend and boyfriend are the absolute worst. The sooner you both leave her life the better.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Spanx)
At least there's no judgement. It's nice to see that there are people on here who give the op the advice and reassurance they need to be happy.

Sarcasm?
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