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Boyfriends Birthday

1

Its my bfs birthday on thursday and i'm going up tomorrow to see him so i'm there with him on his birthday (he lives just under an hour away). Basically him and his ex are good friends which i was annoyed about but now i've dealt with it. His ex hates me, she bitches about me to him, writes stuff about me on her bebo blogs about me and generally wishes i didnt exist. My bf has said he wants to see her on his birthday. I asked what i was meant to do while he was there and he said basically i have 3 choices, i can go see her and sit there while they hang out, i can stay at home with his parents or he'll take me over to see HIS friends while he sees her. I said that knowing she hates me i couldnt sit there with her. I said i'd stay at his house only on the condition that if his parents asked where he was going he would tell the truth. He went nuts and said that he knew what i was doing and that i just want to make him out to be evil to his parents. Am i wrong in wanting to spend his birthday with just me, him and his family? I don't think i'm being unreasonable, because we're away from uni i don't know when i'll see him next. He could see her when i leave and i'd be fine. Any men reading this am i being too harsh? Any advice would be appreciated xx

Reply 1

DoMakeSayThink

15

Eh, it sounds a bit off, particularly if you're travelling an hour to see him. Then again, it's his birthday.

I don't know. Weird situation.

Reply 2

Aesop

11

Go along and see his ex. Be happy and pretend to be having a great time. Ask her if she ever noticed 'that thing on his penis'. That'll teach him.

Reply 3

Sapphire_Eyes

14

No i dont think your been unreasonable. Your both at university and dont see each other much, so it's quite nice to be together. He could spend time with you then later spend time with his friends.

If it was me i would want to spend it with my bf
How come he is still friends with her even though he knows how she acts towards you? I wouldn't be happy with my bf been friends with his ex.

Reply 4

dh00001

16

can you not get him to see her the next day? especially if youre making all that effort to go up and see him

Reply 5

ScottScott

6

Sounds like a bit a **** personally.

I would go pretty mental if it was me.

Reply 6

welshprincess

OP

1

He thinks its a jealousy thing. I said i don't mind if he sees her this weekend all i want is thise 2 days. He's seeing her tonight, is 48 hours without her really that taxing. His ex has caused constant arguements i've posted on here loads about her antics. I just don't see why i should be made to sit there knowing that shes gonna be looking me up and down and thinking things about me. I have lots going on at home atm and i've made such an effort to make sure i can be there on his birthday. His ex still likes him and would love it if i wasnt around tbh. I'm bending over backwards its so frustrating x

Reply 7

ScottScott

6

Tell him how you feel and to get his priorities sorted.

Reply 8

Aesop

11

Tell him this.
'You know you're being a dick head. You can't possibly expect me to go to such an effort for your birthday only to sit around while you flirt with your ex girlfriend. I'm not being jealous and I'm not being unfair. You know I'm not. Stop reveling in the undivided attention she gives you and get some ****ing self confidence. Either you see me, your girl friend, or we're over. Got it?'

Reply 9

welshprincess

OP

1

He genuinly believes hes doing nothing wrong :| I threatned to end it with him and i got "**** you" and then he hung up.

Reply 10

ScottScott

6

He obviously doesnt care much about the integrity of your relationship, I'd think about whether hes really right for you.

Reply 11

Sapphire_Eyes

14

Does he not like you hanging out with a particular male friend? I would give him a taste of his own medicine, and hang round with him, might make him wake up and bring out the jealous bf streak and get him trying to win you over all over again.

Reply 12

Flicker

13

welshprincess

He thinks its a jealousy thing. I said i don't mind if he sees her this weekend all i want is thise 2 days. He's seeing her tonight, is 48 hours without her really that taxing. His ex has caused constant arguements i've posted on here loads about her antics. I just don't see why i should be made to sit there knowing that shes gonna be looking me up and down and thinking things about me. I have lots going on at home atm and i've made such an effort to make sure i can be there on his birthday. His ex still likes him and would love it if i wasnt around tbh. I'm bending over backwards its so frustrating x

I would go and be REALLY nice to her and all over him...but I'm mean like that. it's hard for people to be mean back to you when you are being super nice to them. However I also think you need to make sure your boyfriend understands he is YOUR boyfriend now not hers - especially if you haven't seen him for a while and you've travelled to be with him.

Reply 13

openbookuk

Under the circumstances I don't think you are doing anything wrong at all; although Flicker has an interesting take on the subject.

Reply 14

welshprincess

OP

1

A male friend called me beautiful on sunday (which is lies!) but my bf found out and went nuts saying he was going to "steal me". It was only a compliment and he hated it. He hates it when blokes get close to me. Its like double standards.

Reply 15

Ang|ophi|e

12

Honestly, you're in the right. You're suppose to mean more to him than some friend. If I were you, I'd let him go see her and while you are at his parent's house, go out and have some personal time. Maybe go shopping. Just chill by yourself. When he is ready to see you, let him meet you where you are. If he's gonna be distancing himself for another girl, you're entitled to some leverage.

Reply 16

Donald Duck

15

welshprincess

A male friend called me beautiful on sunday (which is lies!) but my bf found out and went nuts saying he was going to "steal me". It was only a compliment and he hated it. He hates it when blokes get close to me. Its like double standards.

So say that if he goes to her, you hang out with that person.

Reply 17

Zerforax

21

Aesop

Tell him this.
'You know you're being a dick head. You can't possibly expect me to go to such an effort for your birthday only to sit around while you flirt with your ex girlfriend. I'm not being jealous and I'm not being unfair. You know I'm not. Stop reveling in the undivided attention she gives you and get some ****ing self confidence. Either you see me, your girl friend, or we're over. Got it?'

I gotta go with this one

Reply 18

Sapphire_Eyes

14

oo it is, he should really learn that. Cant be put one day aside, so its just you two, or better still why not go out somewhere just the two of you without anyone else. Surely tha would be nice. Tell him to keep his phone off though so you two have time together, without anyone else.

Reply 19

storminaDcup

um i would go ape **** if it were me, hellooo, he knows she dosnt like you so why is he giving you all these awkward options? you should come first over his ex, im sorry. sounds a bit off to me, why is still such good friends with his ex and puts her before you? i smell a rat.

Boyfriends Birthday

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