Feel like my girlfriend isn't supporting me emotionally

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Long story short me and my gf have been together just short of a year and this past week I have had some awful news that I'm really struggling to cope with and when I try to speak to my gf about it she is just very abrupt and short with her answers and I feel like she isn't supporting me emotionally like I have done for her in the past. The other night I asked her if she wanted to come round to mine for a bit just so I could relax a bit and because I wanted to see her and her response was essentially no because I'll already be seeing her on Friday. And whenever I do try and change the subject to take my mind off things she is again short with her answers and is sort of disregarding how I'm feeling.

I've gotten so low that I've now reached out to a friend from my college days because I know that they've been through what I'm going through and they are supporting me better than my gf is.

What should I do? I feel as though if I bring this subject up with my gf she will get argumentative and I can't be dealing with that right now on top of how I'm feeling.
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MoonlightRain
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Dump her. Honestly.
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David Getling
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Long story short me and my gf have been together just short of a year and this past week I have had some awful news that I'm really struggling to cope with and when I try to speak to my gf about it she is just very abrupt and short with her answers and I feel like she isn't supporting me emotionally like I have done for her in the past. The other night I asked her if she wanted to come round to mine for a bit just so I could relax a bit and because I wanted to see her and her response was essentially no because I'll already be seeing her on Friday. And whenever I do try and change the subject to take my mind off things she is again short with her answers and is sort of disregarding how I'm feeling.

I've gotten so low that I've now reached out to a friend from my college days because I know that they've been through what I'm going through and they are supporting me better than my gf is.

What should I do? I feel as though if I bring this subject up with my gf she will get argumentative and I can't be dealing with that right now on top of how I'm feeling.
It's interesting that you haven't said what the awful news is. Which makes one wonder if most people would agree that it was that bad, or warranted their sympathy?
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Anonymous #1
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All I'll say is someone in my family has been diagnosed with something terminal.
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DiddyDec
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Maybe it is an idea to take a break from her if she is not having a positive influence on your life.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by DiddyDec)
Maybe it is an idea to take a break from her if she is not having a positive influence on your life.
Even though this is the first rough patch we've had? And we're going away for a weekend break next week which is complicating matters
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MrMusician95
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Leave her mate. If the news was that bad and she can't make time for you, she's not the one. If my girlfriend had awful news, I'd drop everything to go see her...she'd do the same for me.
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DiddyDec
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Even though this is the first rough patch we've had? And we're going away for a weekend break next week which is complicating matters
Relationships are built on trust and communication, if you can't do one of those things then you need to reevaluate.
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sinfonietta
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(Original post by Anonymous)
All I'll say is someone in my family has been diagnosed with something terminal.
She may not know how to support you, especially if it's something she's not gone through herself.

eg. when my ex's Dad died I had no clue how to help him. Whenever he brought it up things just became awkward and uncomfortable.
Last edited by sinfonietta; 1 month ago
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
She may not know how to support you, especially if it's something she's not gone through herself.

eg. when my ex's Dad died I had no clue how to help him. Whenever he brought it up things just became awkward and uncomfortable.
It's not even about her not knowing how to help/support him. He must asked her to go over so they can relax and she said no as she's seeing him tomorrow. I've lost all four of my grandparents and my girlfriend has lost none. Whenever I get sad she just makes me smile, laugh and hugs me. That's probably what the OP wants and it's not hard to do.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
Whenever I get sad she just makes me smile, laugh and hugs me. That's probably what the OP wants and it's not hard to do.
This is exactly what I want.
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#love2learn
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Long story short me and my gf have been together just short of a year and this past week I have had some awful news that I'm really struggling to cope with and when I try to speak to my gf about it she is just very abrupt and short with her answers and I feel like she isn't supporting me emotionally like I have done for her in the past. The other night I asked her if she wanted to come round to mine for a bit just so I could relax a bit and because I wanted to see her and her response was essentially no because I'll already be seeing her on Friday. And whenever I do try and change the subject to take my mind off things she is again short with her answers and is sort of disregarding how I'm feeling.

I've gotten so low that I've now reached out to a friend from my college days because I know that they've been through what I'm going through and they are supporting me better than my gf is.

What should I do? I feel as though if I bring this subject up with my gf she will get argumentative and I can't be dealing with that right now on top of how I'm feeling.
First and foremost, really gutted to hear this. I know exactly how it feels because my grandma was diagnosed with cancer but she is fine now as she got the right treatment. My prayers are with you.

Secondly, if I had a boyfriend and he didn't support me through my hardships I would break up with him. Look if she is not supporting you then a break may be needed. Yeah she may not have experienced anything like that but the least she can do is give you love and comfort at least that is what I would do.

Just want you to know that we are all here for you and if you ever want to speak to any of us privately then just PM us as we WILL help you.
OKAY BOSS😎
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alexinicosia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Long story short me and my gf have been together just short of a year and this past week I have had some awful news that I'm really struggling to cope with and when I try to speak to my gf about it she is just very abrupt and short with her answers and I feel like she isn't supporting me emotionally like I have done for her in the past. The other night I asked her if she wanted to come round to mine for a bit just so I could relax a bit and because I wanted to see her and her response was essentially no because I'll already be seeing her on Friday. And whenever I do try and change the subject to take my mind off things she is again short with her answers and is sort of disregarding how I'm feeling.

I've gotten so low that I've now reached out to a friend from my college days because I know that they've been through what I'm going through and they are supporting me better than my gf is.

What should I do? I feel as though if I bring this subject up with my gf she will get argumentative and I can't be dealing with that right now on top of how I'm feeling.
I think it honestly sounds like she struggles with emotional intimacy. She might be trying to push you away cus she feels she cant help you like she should be able to. She might naturally not be the most supporting and comforting person which is perfectly fine, but not exactly what you need in a time like this. She might honestly be reflecting her insecurities back at you, maybe she is struggling to cope with you being sad cus you were always the one that helped her when she was sad. Honestly I know it might end in an argument but try and talk to her, a relationship is only as strong as it is open and honest. It might help clear the air and see where your heads are at in this relationship. Times like this can really test who really cares about us and maybe you guys simply arent compatible as sad as that thought may be, please bare that in mind. You can love someone but still let them go. You have to do what will ultimately helps your mental health out the most cus it sounds like you are going through a real fragile time at the moment and you need as much support as possible. I hope you get through this bro and sort **** out.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by #love2learn)
First and foremost, really gutted to hear this. I know exactly how it feels because my grandma was diagnosed with cancer but she is fine now as she got the right treatment. My prayers are with you.

Secondly, if I had a boyfriend and he didn't support me through my hardships I would break up with him. Look if she is not supporting you then a break may be needed. Yeah she may not have experienced anything like that but the least she can do is give you love and comfort at least that is what I would do.

Just want you to know that we are all here for you and if you ever want to speak to any of us privately then just PM us as we WILL help you.
OKAY BOSS😎
Thank you, this is just messing with my head as when I met her last year it was a few weeks after her nan died from cancer and just before Christmas she admitted to me that I had helped her through one of the worst years in her whole life. So now I'm in a bad way and need a bit of help I feel like she's not as willing to help me even though she knows what I'm going through.
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#love2learn
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, this is just messing with my head as when I met her last year it was a few weeks after her nan died from cancer and just before Christmas she admitted to me that I had helped her through one of the worst years in her whole life. So now I'm in a bad way and need a bit of help I feel like she's not as willing to help me even though she knows what I'm going through.
Awwwwww don't worry honestly, it will all be fine. Just don't stress too much over it as it will affect you and also don't keep it in, let it all out and this is coming from someone who has gone through what you have gone through. So attention must be paid!!!!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by #love2learn)
Awwwwww don't worry honestly, it will all be fine. Just don't stress too much over it as it will affect you and also don't keep it in, let it all out and this is coming from someone who has gone through what you have gone through. So attention must be paid!!!!
Thank you, at times I've been made to feel like I shouldn't talk about how I'm feeling.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by David Getling)
It's interesting that you haven't said what the awful news is. Which makes one wonder if most people would agree that it was that bad, or warranted their sympathy. Perhaps it's something your girlfriend feels you have to man up to. She's not your mummy.
That's a bit rude.....
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#love2learn
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, at times I've been made to feel like I shouldn't talk about how I'm feeling.
No no no, don't ever think like that. You should always talk about how you are feeling as if you don't then it will hurt you even more.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by #love2learn)
No no no, don't ever think like that. You should always talk about how you are feeling as if you don't then it will hurt you even more.
Well I haven't talked to my gf but I have spoken to my parents last night and as a result I am feeling a bit better this morning. I still think I'm going to have to talk to my gf about it when I'm in a better frame of mind.
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#love2learn
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I haven't talked to my gf but I have spoken to my parents last night and as a result I am feeling a bit better this morning. I still think I'm going to have to talk to my gf about it when I'm in a better frame of mind.
Yeah give it some time and then go speak to her, when you feel better and more confident. Well done for speaking to your parents, it's helped a bit hasn't it????
Remember it is okay to take baby steps.

YOU GOT THIS😀
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