Being told you cant do something

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Anonymous #1
#1
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When somebody tells you that you cant do something it can really **** you up.

Ive been told I couldnt do something. I got told I wouldnt be able to drive. Basically last year I had this driving instructor who told me that its not going to work, I knew what he meant, he was saying im not going be able to do it. I was struggling learning to drive pretty badly. He basically just straight up said "I dont think this is going to work". This really did **** me up for days, caused me to lose sleep, lose my appetite etc. I just am a massive car fan and have been for years so this really ****ed me up as I was so passionate about it. I was having costant bad lessons with the instructor which was putting me down so much but the lesson he said that ****ed me up for days. I am still pretty upset on how he said that now. Im learning in automatic now which is going better but the instructor who said that evsn said at some point that I wont make in an automatic. It would hurt so much if I couldnt drive and it would ruin my self esteem in life perminantly. Im still slightly worried about not making it.

That was not the only time I was told I couldnt do something. Basically at school in y10 you did work experiace so youd go to a workplace that you choose so it was good and I worked at a car garage as mechanic and I really enjoyed it. Since around then I decided I wanted to get an aprentiship for that company when I leave school after y11 because they did them. I was so convinced ill get them. They had gcses grades that you had to acheive to get on the aprentiship but I was convinced Ill pass my gcses then get on the aprentiship. A few months into year 11 the teacher told me that realistically Im not got going to make it and that upset me. The thing is the teacher was right, I didnt make it and now Im 18 still on this **** college course that makes me depressed.

Im just thinking what if my driving instructor was right about me not making it because the teacher was right.

I just wanted to come on here to get some advice or thoughts
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Oxford Mum
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I and everyone in life are constantly being told we can’t do stuff. I have the same problem with relationships. But I still try to have a bit of hope.

I had the same trouble with driving. My father took me out first. He was impatient man with a bit of a temper, so when I got to a junction and I wanted him to tell me what to do, I panicked because he used different vocabulary from the driving instructor. He ended up shouting at me and ordering me into the passenger seat. He never taught me to drive again.

The driving instructor was too timid and couldn’t stop me from worrying when I approached a junction. So I got myself a female driving instructor who was female. She had a great sense of humour but was really no nonsense. She would put me in a position where if I acted in a certain way I would fail and she’d just trill “you’ve failed again” but I learnt from my mistakes. When it came to the driving test I stalled straight away but remembered the procedure and so I was fine. Along the route there were many situations where I could have failed, but I remembered what the instructor said and was confident. Ok so it took me 60 lessons because of my hesitation to change instructor s but I did it. Just choose your instructor carefully and listen hard to their advice. Don’t get annoyed if he or she pulls you up about so something
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
I and everyone in life are constantly being told we can’t do stuff. I have the same problem with relationships. But I still try to have a bit of hope.

I had the same trouble with driving. My father took me out first. He was impatient man with a bit of a temper, so when I got to a junction and I wanted him to tell me what to do, I panicked because he used different vocabulary from the driving instructor. He ended up shouting at me and ordering me into the passenger seat. He never taught me to drive again.

The driving instructor was too timid and couldn’t stop me from worrying when I approached a junction. So I got myself a female driving instructor who was female. She had a great sense of humour but was really no nonsense. She would put me in a position where if I acted in a certain way I would fail and she’d just trill “you’ve failed again” but I learnt from my mistakes. When it came to the driving test I stalled straight away but remembered the procedure and so I was fine. Along the route there were many situations where I could have failed, but I remembered what the instructor said and was confident. Ok so it took me 60 lessons because of my hesitation to change instructor s but I did it. Just choose your instructor carefully and listen hard to their advice. Don’t get annoyed if he or she pulls you up about so something
Did you end up passing your test?
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Did you end up passing your test?
Yes, I passed it first time.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel, even for nervous drivers. I am still nervous and drive quite slowly, but have not have an accident (except caused by others) in over 30 years.
Just make sure you get the right driving instructor and warn them that you are a nervous driver. A good instructor will take this into account.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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I think the thing about driving is that for in order for it to become less stressful, it needs to become second nature. The right instructor will help you to get to that stage, but some people do take longer than others.

I passed in an automatic because I was learning slowly, but I had a deadline when I had to pass (I needed to care for an elderly relative and my mum was changing her job so I would have to go alone in the mornings - ironically he died the week before my test, which I passed).

If your current instructor doesn't believe in you, I honestly suggest that you change. Perhaps ask them to start right from the beginning again, with a new slate.

You will get there someday . I think it very very rare that someone cannot drive with the right attitude and tuition.
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I think the thing about driving is that for in order for it to become less stressful, it needs to become second nature. The right instructor will help you to get to that stage, but some people do take longer than others.

I passed in an automatic because I was learning slowly, but I had a deadline when I had to pass (I needed to care for an elderly relative and my mum was changing her job so I would have to go alone in the mornings - ironically he died the week before my test, which I passed).

If your current instructor doesn't believe in you, I honestly suggest that you change. Perhaps ask them to start right from the beginning again, with a new slate.

You will get there someday . I think it very very rare that someone cannot drive with the right attitude and tuition.
PRSOM, angel!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
I think the thing about driving is that for in order for it to become less stressful, it needs to become second nature. The right instructor will help you to get to that stage, but some people do take longer than others.

I passed in an automatic because I was learning slowly, but I had a deadline when I had to pass (I needed to care for an elderly relative and my mum was changing her job so I would have to go alone in the mornings - ironically he died the week before my test, which I passed).

If your current instructor doesn't believe in you, I honestly suggest that you change. Perhaps ask them to start right from the beginning again, with a new slate.

You will get there someday . I think it very very rare that someone cannot drive with the right attitude and tuition.
Did you pass first time?
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Did you pass first time?
It might have taken me a while but yes, eventually, it was a first time pass .
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
It might have taken me a while but yes, eventually, it was a first time pass .
Well done
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well done
Thanks! You'll get there, too. Honestly .
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
Thanks! You'll get there, too. Honestly .
Hopefully
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