She said "I want to cool it down a bit"

Basically I'm in (or was in a secret relationship (sort of - well I dunno what it was exactly cus we never discussed it) with a girl) but we were going away for the weekend together last weekend (just as friends but it happened that none of our other friends could go in the end so it was going to be just us) but on the day we were going she rang me up in my lunch break to say that she didn't feel the same as she did before and so could we cool it off a bit between us. And I was kind of (ok very) gutted but I just made out that I wasn't that bothered.
Anyway the weekend went ok and we just acted like friends as we did before we got together apart from sometimes like when we were walking along and we ended up holding hands but she didn't try and pull away and it felt like she wanted to hold hands . Also we were dancing and then after the song finished we hugged - but we didn't do anything other than that... So now I feel really confused (Maybe people just hold hands with their friends but I don't)

Did she mean that we were over when she said she wanted to cool things off? What else could she mean?

I can't stop thinking about it but I don't want to ask her because I'm afraid she will probably say that it is completely over and I don't want her to. I just want her to ring me up and say she made another mistake...

Anyway, thanks for any help or just saying something... I think it is good to talk to someone about it because I can't talk to any of my friends because it is/was a secret - it already feels a little better :smile:

Reply 1

randdom

20

*Bumping* as this took a while to get approved.

Reply 2

Stressed Chick

12

Well, the only person who knows her mind is her... she is sending you mixed signals, so why don't you ask her?

Just ask her what's gone wrong for her, why she wanted to cool it off, and whether you two are actually off or on, what did she mean by 'cooling it off.'

You say you're scared of what she'll tell you, but even if it's not what you want to hear, it's better than wondering. At least you'll know for sure. Everyone can dream, but you have to face reality at some point, and you never know, the reality may be that she does want to stay with you. But even if she doesn't want to stay with you... you can deal with that and you will have to at some point.

And talk away all you want on TSR... plenty of people like me who can't sleep :P x

Reply 3

Somebody

1

Sounds like she's confused about what she wants....

She may not feel the same about you, but wants the closeness?

I'd say give her time and space for a week or 2 if you can. It'll let both of you sort out your heads a bit

Reply 4

MJ84

12

she's probably waitingg to see ifshe can get someone better than you

Reply 5

Profesh

20

Anonymous

Basically I'm in (or was in a secret relationship (sort of - well I dunno what it was exactly cus we never discussed it) with a girl) but we were going away for the weekend together last weekend (just as friends but it happened that none of our other friends could go in the end so it was going to be just us) but on the day we were going she rang me up in my lunch break to say that she didn't feel the same as she did before and so could we cool it off a bit between us. And I was kind of (ok very) gutted but I just made out that I wasn't that bothered.
Anyway the weekend went ok and we just acted like friends as we did before we got together apart from sometimes like when we were walking along and we ended up holding hands but she didn't try and pull away and it felt like she wanted to hold hands . Also we were dancing and then after the song finished we hugged - but we didn't do anything other than that... So now I feel really confused (Maybe people just hold hands with their friends but I don't)

Did she mean that we were over when she said she wanted to cool things off? What else could she mean?

I can't stop thinking about it but I don't want to ask her because I'm afraid she will probably say that it is completely over and I don't want her to. I just want her to ring me up and say she made another mistake...

Anyway, thanks for any help or just saying something... I think it is good to talk to someone about it because I can't talk to any of my friends because it is/was a secret - it already feels a little better :smile:

For god's sake, let it alone.

Reply 6

Desperate Prayer

9

MJ84

she's probably waiting to see if she can get someone better than you

Possibly...

I think the best thing to do is, as said before, leave it for a week or so and see what happens. I wouldnt wait any longer than that - you might have to start making choices for her. I think its best you both talk about it however, it will only lead to confusion if you dont. There might be something there, she might be confused, or she might have simply decided she didnt like you in that way, in which case you should move on. :s-smilie: