I have anxiety. I feel guilty after what I did.Watch
I have anxiety and I know that is no excuse for being rude to anyone.
The only person who knows my truth about my sexuality and my internalised homophobia and how much thinking and worry about my sexuality causes me a great deal of distress and even leads to me wishing I was not here at least 3 to 4 times a week.
She is on holiday I think and she has not been able to reply to my messages which is understandable... and I a couple of days ago left a message about how I feel and how my family argued with me and told me why I'm not in a relationship and I told her how I have always dreamt of marrying a woman yet little did I know that reality would be completely different.
I told her how she is lucky to have the life she wants.
I got not reply (like I said she would have been busy) and I ended up today saying to her
'Or you can just ignore me like usual- let it go through one ear and out of the other, it's not like you are finding it hard to accept your sexuality, you were accepted. I'm the one fighting this war. I'm the one suffering, I'm the one contemplating not been here, why should you care lol.'
Ever since I sent that I feel sick and so upset
She is going to end up seeing it and hate me
1. Leave it, and say nothing. Then you'd feel bad, and your friends feelings are potentially hurt.
2. Address the issue, communicate and explain what happened. Then you'd hopefully feel more relieved, and your friend can see things from your perspective.
Is there anything else you could do really? Maybe talk to someone else in real life, but tbh its best to be honest with your friend, and communicate your thoughts to her. You could literally rewrite the post at the top in a way that would make sense to send to her.