Me and my Ex we used to have cam sex. Now that we broke up he is threatening me that

Me and my Ex we used to have cam sex. Now that we broke up he is threatening me that he would access our video calls and post them online and send them to my parents. I am so scared I want to kill myself, I am so ashamed of what I did. My parents would be heartbroken if they see those videos and I would ruin my career.

I have not sent any nudes to him and I know he was not recording me when we used to cam but he told me that he knows a way in which he could access our calls. I was with this guy for more than 3 years and he is telling he is able to access everything.

if I video call someone can they access that video call again in any way?

PLEASE, GUYS, I NEED HELP, I cant tell my friends about this so I have no one to talk about.

Reply 1

l2bunny

14

call the police immediately

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by l2bunny

call the police immediately

do you think he can access those videos?

Reply 3

mariedamme

11

Original post by Anonymous

do you think he can access those videos?

Honestly, I'm not 100% sure. Probably not, but obviously we don't know who he is or what he's capable of so we can't say for certain. Regardless, you should call the police. Even if he can't, at least this way things will be cleared up and you can rest easy that he won't send them to anyone you know. I'm guessing you're not a minor? If so, they can't contact your parents about it without your permission, so they won't have to know about it.

Reply 4

londonmyst

19

Yes, the content of cam calls can be accessed and downloaded.
My employer does this several times a month.

Do you have proof of your ex's threats in writing?
It is illegal to threaten to release or actually publish revenge porn.
Tell the police and they will help you.

You can also contact the revenge porn hotline by phone or email.
https://revengepornhelpline.org.uk/help-and-advice

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

if he can access those videos, how can he do that?

I thought it was impossible to access the phone conversation or video calls.

I don't want the police to get involved because I am 15 and they would want to talk with my parents.

Plus, I haven't shown my face when we used to video cam but don't remember everything properly.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by londonmyst

Yes, the content of cam calls can be accessed and downloaded.
My employer does this several times a month.

Do you have proof of your ex's threats in writing?
It is illegal to threaten to release or actually publish revenge porn.
Tell the police and they will help you.

You can also contact the revenge porn hotline by phone or email.
https://revengepornhelpline.org.uk/help-and-advice

omg really, I can't omg.
why does your employer do that?

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

I’m actually useless and I’d rather someone older or more experienced help you but what you’ve been having cam sex since you were 12 Wtaf...

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

My parents would be heartbroken if they see those videos and I would ruin my career.

I strongly suspect, as a parent, that they'd just want to protect you. Us parents are more into sex than you appear to think.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I’m actually useless and I’d rather someone older or more experienced help you but what you’ve been having cam sex since you were 12 Wtaf...

no

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I strongly suspect, as a parent, that they'd just want to protect you. Us parents are more into sex than you appear to think.

My parents are Asian, they are very strict.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

When I end the video call would he be able to access my camera after the video ended aswell?
I am asking this because I did not show my face when we were video calling but after video calling obviously my camera did see my face.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

When I end the video call would he be able to access my camera after the video ended aswell?
I am asking this because I did not show my face when we were video calling but after video calling obviously my camera did see my face.

No unless he has somehow hacked your phone, which I know for a fact is very difficult to do, he cannot record you using your own camera remotely

Reply 13

El Salvador

21

sue for the royalties

Reply 14

aoife_judge

9

Listen don’t panic and get too stressed, the likelihood is that he can’t access them and is just trying to scare and threaten you. However, there is a small chance that he can so make the right decisions. Screenshot any messages he’s sent you saying he’s going to send them out and contact a revenge porn hotline. I know it seems like the worst thing in the world for your parents to find out something stupid that you did but it happens to the best of us and at the end of the day they will support you. Try not to let your thoughts spiral out of control because then you’ll start thinking of the worst possibilities and that’ll only make you feel worse. Stay calm and talk to a friend or hotline.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by aoife_judge

Listen don’t panic and get too stressed, the likelihood is that he can’t access them and is just trying to scare and threaten you. However, there is a small chance that he can so make the right decisions. Screenshot any messages he’s sent you saying he’s going to send them out and contact a revenge porn hotline. I know it seems like the worst thing in the world for your parents to find out something stupid that you did but it happens to the best of us and at the end of the day they will support you. Try not to let your thoughts spiral out of control because then you’ll start thinking of the worst possibilities and that’ll only make you feel worse. Stay calm and talk to a friend or hotline.

Thank you so much.

That’s illegal

Can you not threaten to do the same??

Reply 18

ParadoxSocks

22

A couple of things. First of all, organisations that people may work for are absolutely able to intercept the call and/or access through stored data depending on how the system is set up. It can also be true for personal calls depending on the app or program used. Skype for example can store the video on each of your devices and many people have been caught out by this. You'll need to google your particular app and see what logs are stored for you to have complete confidence that they're gone forever.

Secondly, and this is where you're safe unless he's a bit dim, is that for him to release any video that he did have access to, would be considered to be part of creating and distributing child pornography which would have major implications on his life. He'd also be distributing revenge porn, something that again he doesn't want to be doing. You could also be on the hook for this as you are not of legal age to create videos such as these, but it would more that likely bite him harder than you as there is some understanding that teens will be teens.

It's absolutely understandable that you don't want to talk to the police, that's completely okay and there's no pressure there at all. Is there somebody else you could talk to?

Have a look at the sex sexting guides to help protect yourself in the future. You've done nothing wrong, and your ex is awful for doing this to you.