Struggling to Move On

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hey,

In early January, my girlfriend (who I had been seeing at uni for about 2 months) broke up with me. It's a long story, I did something silly that I won't go into, but it wasn't cheating! At the time it really upset me and I know that it upset her but I felt like her reaction to what I did was over the top.

So, after that happened, we didn't chat at all for a good 2-3 weeks until we were back at university following the Christmas holidays. Unfortunately, when we chatted next, we had both had some alcohol etc (not a great idea) but yeah basically that chat didn't help much. Eventually, after this, she unfollowed me on Instagram, which I thought was a little petty. We are at uni in a small town so I see her about lots and she basically patched me in public after this. This week however we were both on a night out, she came over and said hi then sent me a message late in the night saying 'it was lovely chatting again' etc.

I thought I was almost over her and I know that we probably weren't meant to be but this chat again has really played on my mind, and has put me off when chatting to other girls because I keep comparing them to my ex. Obviously I still have some feelings for her although my head says that I need to forget about her because as much as I liked her, there were a few red flags that I ignored. Anyone have any advice on how I should go about moving on? Especially given that we will bump into each other quite often and have a few mutual friends.

Cheers.
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blueberrybowl
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#2
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Focus on her flaws, and the reasons why she isn’t wife material. The reason for dating is for marriage, right? So the less ideal of a wife you are her, the more turned off you’ll be
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by blueberrybowl)
Focus on her flaws, and the reasons why she isn’t wife material. The reason for dating is for marriage, right? So the less ideal of a wife you are her, the more turned off you’ll be
True. I've tried making a list of the things I didn't like about our relationship and it definitely helped but when I see her in person it sets me back in terms of moving on.
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Jamal.7
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Go back to being a bachelor
Chill with your friends have a great time
show her u don't need her by accomplishing things you never thought u could do, a great way to do this to start Calisthenics which will strengthen ur entire body allowing u to do impressive stuff
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blueberrybowl
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(Original post by Anonymous)
True. I've tried making a list of the things I didn't like about our relationship and it definitely helped but when I see her in person it sets me back in terms of moving on.
Try to avoid seeing her. Replace her with someone else. Sounds bad but yeah
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey,

In early January, my girlfriend (who I had been seeing at uni for about 2 months) broke up with me. It's a long story, I did something silly that I won't go into, but it wasn't cheating! At the time it really upset me and I know that it upset her but I felt like her reaction to what I did was over the top.

So, after that happened, we didn't chat at all for a good 2-3 weeks until we were back at university following the Christmas holidays. Unfortunately, when we chatted next, we had both had some alcohol etc (not a great idea) but yeah basically that chat didn't help much. Eventually, after this, she unfollowed me on Instagram, which I thought was a little petty. We are at uni in a small town so I see her about lots and she basically patched me in public after this. This week however we were both on a night out, she came over and said hi then sent me a message late in the night saying 'it was lovely chatting again' etc.

I thought I was almost over her and I know that we probably weren't meant to be but this chat again has really played on my mind, and has put me off when chatting to other girls because I keep comparing them to my ex. Obviously I still have some feelings for her although my head says that I need to forget about her because as much as I liked her, there were a few red flags that I ignored. Anyone have any advice on how I should go about moving on? Especially given that we will bump into each other quite often and have a few mutual friends.

Chees.
When you think of her, focus on those red flags. You don't want to stay with someone you have doubts about when you are married and have kids.

I have just had a bad experience and looked at those red flags flapping madly.

As a sensible 56 year old I know that it's time to move on.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by blueberrybowl)
Try to avoid seeing her. Replace her with someone else. Sounds bad but yeah
Yeah I guess, sounds brutal but that's the way to go about it. Trying to show her that I'm not bothered one bit about our breakup
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Nazz69
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Exactly! Show her that u don’t need her. Cuz really u don’t . People come and go all the time. U will meet new people. The people that don’t wanna stay in your life just let them go. Don’t waste your time, u won’t get it again. If u hold on to her, u might miss saink better. Let her go already. She clearly doesn’t care. She was prolly feeli bf lonely that’s y she hit u up.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Nazz69)
Exactly! Show her that u don’t need her. Cuz really u don’t . People come and go all the time. U will meet new people. The people that don’t wanna stay in your life just let them go. Don’t waste your time, u won’t get it again. If u hold on to her, u might miss saink better. Let her go already. She clearly doesn’t care. She was prolly feeli bf lonely that’s y she hit u up
Yeah you're right. She went weeks without reaching out to check on me and didn't even look at me in the street. Now when she's had some alcohol and has seen me talking to other girls in the club she tries to chat again.
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Nazz69
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah you're right. She went weeks without reaching out to check on me and didn't even look at me in the street. Now when she's had some alcohol and has seen me talking to other girls in the club she tries to chat again.
Move on she ain’t shyttt u can do so much better🥰❤️
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