Not eating and my weight

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So the last year of my life has been extremely difficult with employment, relationship and debt. I’ve been betrayed by those around from having my own mother taking credits cards I had to replay and boyfriend using me physically and emotionally and being made redundant. All of this has taken a toll on my body and I first I got loads of compliments on my weight loss (although is most due to stress).

I’ve managed to clear my debt, get rid of the guy and I’m still struggling with employment and not earning enough to get by. I skip meals and sometimes I barely eat because over the past year this what I’ve gotten used to. However I’ve lost far too much weight I look unrecognisable to myself. I recent started dating again and the guy was asking if I work out (obviously I don’t) and even he has noticed my bad eating habits. I really want to get on with my life and have sense of normalcy but my job hunting alongside my past experiences has really affected me and I get about 5 hours of sleep each night.

I don’t know where to really begin I feel like my confidence is way better than I was last year, but at the same time I still have some of the same issues. And I’ve really tried, I had a career advisor and she basically avoiding me (I’ve moved on). But even though I clear off my debt and only thing that’s missing is the job it’s almost like effects of my not eating or not eating enough still remains.

I do get sad at times about my situation but I’ve gotten better and rather being upset at the situation I ask myself continuously “what action do I need to take or what can I do differently” I’ve asked for advice which I do follow but I just don’t know anymore and I can’t carry on like this. I want to be strong and healthy and my job issues seem way harder that getting rid of a guy.

I just don’t know what else to do I need to get healthy again for me and my wellbeing.
0
reply
4StarsOutOf5
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
what exactly are you asking?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
what exactly are you asking?
My post is all over the place I get it. My eating habits is very bad I’ve been skipping meals to the point that it’s norm for me now and I’ve lost a lot weight in the process. I want to get healthy without having my circumstances affect me.
0
reply
4StarsOutOf5
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
My post is all over the place I get it. My eating habits is very bad I’ve been skipping meals to the point that it’s norm for me now and I’ve lost a lot weight in the process. I want to get healthy without having my circumstances affect me.
Uh, eat more healthy food?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
Uh, eat more healthy food?
It’s easier said than done
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
I admire your strength in dealing with the hardships and difficulties you have had in life, genuinely that's great. Your attitude as well is good. In general, just believe in yourself, some people would've crumbled with what you had to deal with. With your eating, you might want to seek professional help, since as you said it's not as simple as just eating and it's become a bad habit that's hard to break. I hope you find a job soon, maybe if you take any sort of job to start with? Then look for a better one, not quite sure what position you are in.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
The tip I would give you is do very (I mean it, very) light weights or get used to walking. These are good ways not to lose more weight and for your body to release the Endorphins hormones, called the hormone of positiveness. Believe me. That will take you back to normality regarding meals. Human being in ancient times needed physical activity to survive and release this hormone. It will improve your health, skin, eye luminosity, self esteem.
1
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
Make a deal with your boyfriend. You'll do all the cooking and washing up for the 2 of you, if he pays for all the food.

Then just make sure you have enough fruit, veg, nuts, carbohydrates and you'll be fine.
0
reply
4StarsOutOf5
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Make a deal with your boyfriend. You'll do all the cooking and washing up for the 2 of you, if he pays for all the food.

Then just make sure you have enough fruit, veg, nuts, carbohydrates and you'll be fine.
what a terrible deal that is
3
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
what a terrible deal that is
Terrible for whom?
0
reply
elssssssssa
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
So the last year of my life has been extremely difficult with employment, relationship and debt. I’ve been betrayed by those around from having my own mother taking credits cards I had to replay and boyfriend using me physically and emotionally and being made redundant. All of this has taken a toll on my body and I first I got loads of compliments on my weight loss (although is most due to stress).

I’ve managed to clear my debt, get rid of the guy and I’m still struggling with employment and not earning enough to get by. I skip meals and sometimes I barely eat because over the past year this what I’ve gotten used to. However I’ve lost far too much weight I look unrecognisable to myself. I recent started dating again and the guy was asking if I work out (obviously I don’t) and even he has noticed my bad eating habits. I really want to get on with my life and have sense of normalcy but my job hunting alongside my past experiences has really affected me and I get about 5 hours of sleep each night.

I don’t know where to really begin I feel like my confidence is way better than I was last year, but at the same time I still have some of the same issues. And I’ve really tried, I had a career advisor and she basically avoiding me (I’ve moved on). But even though I clear off my debt and only thing that’s missing is the job it’s almost like effects of my not eating or not eating enough still remains.

I do get sad at times about my situation but I’ve gotten better and rather being upset at the situation I ask myself continuously “what action do I need to take or what can I do differently” I’ve asked for advice which I do follow but I just don’t know anymore and I can’t carry on like this. I want to be strong and healthy and my job issues seem way harder that getting rid of a guy.

I just don’t know what else to do I need to get healthy again for me and my wellbeing.
It is a positive sign that you have acknowledged this, meaning the "habits" are not a sign of a deeper issue. Also meaning that mentally you are healthy it is just physical (possibly not completely mentally healthy obviously idk your situation).
0
reply
4StarsOutOf5
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Terrible for whom?
the boy having to pay for all the food
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
the boy having to pay for all the food
A good healthy romantic relationship is a partnership.

If the OP's boyfriend is in employment he will be relatively money rich and time poor. The OP on the other hand is relatively time rich and money poor.

It therefore makes a lot of sense for each person in this relationship to contribute that in which they are richest, relatively speaking. For the boyfriend to contribute money whilst the girlfriend contributes time.

Any loving boyfriend should be looking for ways in which he can support his girlfriend. And vice versa.
Him contributing money to help both of them to be properly fed and nourished is a good way to do that. Her taking over a chunk of his household chores is a good way for her to support him.

If I were the OP's boyfriend I would have no hesitation whatsoever in providing the money for her to eat properly. And I wouldn't give two hoots about anyone outside the relationship saying that I was getting a terrible deal.
1
reply
4StarsOutOf5
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
A good healthy romantic relationship is a partnership.

If the OP's boyfriend is in employment he will be relatively money rich and time poor. The OP on the other hand is relatively time rich and money poor.

It therefore makes a lot of sense for each person in this relationship to contribute that in which they are richest, relatively speaking. For the boyfriend to contribute money whilst the girlfriend contributes time.

Any loving boyfriend should be looking for ways in which he can support his girlfriend. And vice versa.
Him contributing money to help both of them to be properly fed and nourished is a good way to do that. Her taking over a chunk of his household chores is a good way for her to support him.

If I were the OP's boyfriend I would have no hesitation whatsoever in providing the money for her to eat properly. And I wouldn't give two hoots about anyone outside the relationship saying that I was getting a terrible deal.
when you 'assume', you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'.

what makes you think he can afford to pay for her food, he's not her parent, these people aren't married.

of course, he can support her, but that doesn't mean he should be a personal cash machine for her, what's wrong with you? honestly, you sound like a bit of a gimp that would 'gladly pay for m'lady as I'm the man and I shall look after my betrothed'. sort it out son
0
reply
Sebastian1221
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
So the last year of my life has been extremely difficult with employment, relationship and debt. I’ve been betrayed by those around from having my own mother taking credits cards I had to replay and boyfriend using me physically and emotionally and being made redundant. All of this has taken a toll on my body and I first I got loads of compliments on my weight loss (although is most due to stress).

I’ve managed to clear my debt, get rid of the guy and I’m still struggling with employment and not earning enough to get by. I skip meals and sometimes I barely eat because over the past year this what I’ve gotten used to. However I’ve lost far too much weight I look unrecognisable to myself. I recent started dating again and the guy was asking if I work out (obviously I don’t) and even he has noticed my bad eating habits. I really want to get on with my life and have sense of normalcy but my job hunting alongside my past experiences has really affected me and I get about 5 hours of sleep each night.

I don’t know where to really begin I feel like my confidence is way better than I was last year, but at the same time I still have some of the same issues. And I’ve really tried, I had a career advisor and she basically avoiding me (I’ve moved on). But even though I clear off my debt and only thing that’s missing is the job it’s almost like effects of my not eating or not eating enough still remains.

I do get sad at times about my situation but I’ve gotten better and rather being upset at the situation I ask myself continuously “what action do I need to take or what can I do differently” I’ve asked for advice which I do follow but I just don’t know anymore and I can’t carry on like this. I want to be strong and healthy and my job issues seem way harder that getting rid of a guy.

I just don’t know what else to do I need to get healthy again for me and my wellbeing.
I'd say you need to rebuild your body by taking real control.
I would buy the raw building blocks your brain and body needs to stimulate regeneration, like fish oil, olive oil, coconut oil, eggs, spinach... blabla
And make a routine where you must take these everyday in whatever way you see fit and cheap, what will happen is after 4-5 weeks you will start feeling alot better if you tailor your meals around these basic ingredients.

It sounds like you are malnourished, and lost/confused, being malnourished is very bad in these situations, and unfortunately so many have no choice but to deal with it. You probably can make these changes so you probably should
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#16
Report 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
when you 'assume', you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'.

what makes you think he can afford to pay for her food, he's not her parent, these people aren't married.

of course, he can support her, but that doesn't mean he should be a personal cash machine for her, what's wrong with you? honestly, you sound like a bit of a gimp that would 'gladly pay for m'lady as I'm the man and I shall look after my betrothed'. sort it out son
On the assumption thing: you are ass - u - ming that the boyfriend can't afford to pay for the food for the 2 of them.
If that were the case my suggestion would be a dead duck. And therefore wouldn't be a terrible deal for him because it wouldn't happen.

Plus, 2 people eating together can eat a bit cheaper than 2 people eating individually. Plus, someone with time on their hands can prepare cheaper, more nutritious meals from basic ingredients instead of the more common route of ready meals for a time strapped person.

He's not being a cash machine for her with my suggestion. He's exchanging some of his money for her time. "Time is money". Plus he's helping someone that he loves in a time of her need. It doesn't matter if they are married or not. He's supposed to love her. If he doesn't love her, what's the point in him being her boyfriend?

If I were short of money and my girlfriend was in employment, I'd have no qualms about offering to do the shopping, cooking and washing up in exchange for her paying for the food. It would be a simple common sense arrangement. Because the 2 of us are a partnership. Regardless of whether we are married or not.

At the heart of this is one's basic philosophy to life. When I get to 80 years of age I would rather look back on my life and think that I had done the right and ethical things and had a positive effect on the people that I love and the human race in general. That would be more important to me than looking back and thinking that I was glad that I spent as little money as possible on my girlfriends. How about you? How do you want to look back on your life when you are 80?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#17
Let me make this clear, I'm no longer with boyfriend (ex-boyfriend). He was the worst and best thing to ever happen, my eating problems actually arise from the level of stress I had to go through when I was with him alongside the emotional abuse and once a physical encounter. I'm not the type of female that expects a guy to pay for everything or do everything for me, what I was asking how do I regain control over my body when I have horrible eating habits (and not eating at all when this almost like a norm for me now.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#18
(Original post by Sebastian1221)
I'd say you need to rebuild your body by taking real control.
I would buy the raw building blocks your brain and body needs to stimulate regeneration, like fish oil, olive oil, coconut oil, eggs, spinach... blabla
And make a routine where you must take these everyday in whatever way you see fit and cheap, what will happen is after 4-5 weeks you will start feeling alot better if you tailor your meals around these basic ingredients.

It sounds like you are malnourished, and lost/confused, being malnourished is very bad in these situations, and unfortunately so many have no choice but to deal with it. You probably can make these changes so you probably should
Yes thank you. I brought some vitamins and fish oil tablets that I'm now taking.
0
reply
4StarsOutOf5
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 month ago
#19
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
On the assumption thing: you are ass - u - ming that the boyfriend can't afford to pay for the food for the 2 of them.
If that were the case my suggestion would be a dead duck. And therefore wouldn't be a terrible deal for him because it wouldn't happen.

Plus, 2 people eating together can eat a bit cheaper than 2 people eating individually. Plus, someone with time on their hands can prepare cheaper, more nutritious meals from basic ingredients instead of the more common route of ready meals for a time strapped person.

He's not being a cash machine for her with my suggestion. He's exchanging some of his money for her time. "Time is money". Plus he's helping someone that he loves in a time of her need. It doesn't matter if they are married or not. He's supposed to love her. If he doesn't love her, what's the point in him being her boyfriend?

If I were short of money and my girlfriend was in employment, I'd have no qualms about offering to do the shopping, cooking and washing up in exchange for her paying for the food. It would be a simple common sense arrangement. Because the 2 of us are a partnership. Regardless of whether we are married or not.

At the heart of this is one's basic philosophy to life. When I get to 80 years of age I would rather look back on my life and think that I had done the right and ethical things and had a positive effect on the people that I love and the human race in general. That would be more important to me than looking back and thinking that I was glad that I spent as little money as possible on my girlfriends. How about you? How do you want to look back on your life when you are 80?
Jesus what a bore, “when I’m 80...” who thinks like that?

if I get to 80, I ain’t wasting my time ‘looking back’ that’s for sure. what kind of end of life is that? sitting in an old chair reminiscing all day, no thanks grandpa
0
reply
Dunnig Kruger
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#20
Report 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
Jesus what a bore, “when I’m 80...” who thinks like that?

if I get to 80, I ain’t wasting my time ‘looking back’ that’s for sure. what kind of end of life is that? sitting in an old chair reminiscing all day, no thanks grandpa
At the age of 80, there's nothing to stop anyone living a productive enough, or fun enpough life. Assuming they have their health. There's nothing to stop anyone living mainly in the present at that age and not in the past.
However, during quiet moments, it's inevitable that one would think about important past events. Not as something to do all day. Because even at the age of 80, one can still be active enough with other things that will cram out thoughts of the past.

So, in answer to you question, everyone thinks like, from time to time. Whether they are 80, 60, 40 or 20. We all think of the past from time to time.

However, anyone with a healthy enough mind and body does not sit in a chair reminiscing all day. Not even 80 year olds.
It's all about a healthy balance between thinking of the present, the past and the future.

Let me put my question to you a different way. What do you think is more important. Doing ethical and moral things that will help and support someone that you love, or spending a minimum amount of money on your girlfriend or boyfriend?
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Do you think non-essential uni exams should be cancelled?

Yes, they should be cancelled altogether (214)
52.45%
No, they should still go ahead (57)
13.97%
They should be cancelled for everyone but final year (137)
33.58%

Watched Threads

View All