Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

im 17 male and wanna have sex

Im 17 and still a virgin and feel like im never going to lose it i dont really have a social life and dont go to parties and all that ,ive started trying to go gym more often and if i put my mind to it i could easily get in better shape which might help but i dont know.
I get anxiety in certain situations but i feel fine in other or more stressful situations its werid.Im **** a flirting and just wanna find someone who i can trust.
I dont know what else to put as it hard for me to tpye this question post.

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

I'd be worried if you were 17 and didn't want sex.

I'd also be slightly more concerned if you were 17 and were having sex. Concerned from the point of view of it interfering with your A level studies.
Or of the chance of you becoming a father in your teens.

The anxiety. Best way to overcome it is to face to down your fears. Stretch your comfort zones as often as you can.

Borrow Neil Strauss's The Game from your local library. You'll find it interesting reading, but don't treat it as a bible.
Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is an enterntaining read with a lot of good down to earth advice.

Gym's fine. Do it for the long term strength and stamina and health benefits. With you being more attractive being a nice side effect. You don't have to go to the Gym to become "perfectly fit". As per the classic Morehouse Total Fitness book.

The Greger book How Not to Die is interesting reading on the food front.

Some other reading that you might want to do is to find a general text book for whatever subject you want to study at uni. And read that.

Aim to go to a uni that's well away from your home. And aim to reinvent yourself as a more outgoing version of you on your first day at uni.

If you can, get some experience at direct selling. EG a summer time job at a car dealership selling cars.

A girlfriend will come in due course. You won't die a virgin.

Reply 2

username4528716

feel you exact same lol exact same problem its ****ing hard

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

It’s normal to feel like that but honestly it’s worth waiting for the right person, don’t lose it to anyone because it could be awkward and you might regret it. Some girls find virgin guys more attractive so🤷🏼*♀️

Reply 4

username4214464

what's them call the vr headset, u could use that

Reply 5

Surnia

So what if you're a virgin? It doesn't define you and it's not the first thing you would say when introducing yourself to someone. Find some activities where you will meet like-minded people and become comfortable talking to girls in casual situations; hobby clubs, evening classes, volunteering. Personality counts a lot for people finding you attractive. Don't try to fake it, though; all this game and selling stuff is too much like hard work and you won't be able to keep up being a character that isn't really you. Learn to value yourself and be genuine, and that's what people should like you for. If not, their loss, and you can be happy knowing you have stayed true to your values.

Reply 6

Wilson1218

I'm 17 also (less than a month from 18) and am still a virgin. The reason? I legitimately have never been attracted to anyone I know/have known, not even a crush. Don't get me wrong - I have been attracted to/crushed on people before, but they have only ever been people that I only knew for a few days (i.e. on a holiday), and I'd prefer not to have any one-night stands. I don't view losing my virginity as this whole spiritual thing or anything, I just want some trust built with my partner first.

I definately agree with Dunnig Kruger on their point about reinventing yourself at uni, which is what I plan to do. For reference, I don't party, I hardly ever drink (like literally one glass of wine on VERY special occasions, and one glass of champagne on New Year's), and I plan to stay that way. I am what you may call an "Extroverted Introvert" - I love to spend time with people, but not for extended periods unless I know I can trust them absolutely and get along with them very well. This has led to me not really knowing many people outside of those I go to/used to go to school with. I plan to change this in uni, and have even begun meeting some people currently living at/near my choice university online so that I have some friends in advance.

My advice? Don't worry yourself about it for the moment. If an opportunity presents itself to you on a silver platter, don't be afraid to take it (obviously watching out for all the usual things), but otherwise wait until you get to uni and (and here's the KEY part, try to take this to heart) DON'T tell any little white lies about your likes/dislikes, DON'T try to hide anything that you may be hiding now (obviously not personal matters, I mean more like personality traits, emotions etc.). Make yourself who YOU want to be, instead of trying to please everyone else. A good comparison is this: be who you would be comfortable with being online/anonymous, obviously not hate speech/insults like some anonymous people online do, but rather take it as an opportunity to be completely open about yourself.

Good luck!

Reply 7

danilsergeev5