Insecure about EVERYTHING!

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Anonymous #1
#21
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#21
(Original post by sbsh44456)
You are also clearly very young if you haven't done GCSE's yet. Don't worry too much worst comes to worst you can redo them and health and mental health do come as a priority as well as study so definitely get into some bodybuilding exercise alongside revision to get muscle. Nothing heavy to stunt growth though just light stuff.
Also, You say you've been brainwashed, what do you actually think can go wrong in a relationship and why aren't they trustworthy?
what are some of your concerns regarding some of these things? If we can understand more about the way you think we can help you and reassure you.
Obviously please do really give yourself some time to learn about yourself, to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else etc. You will naturally gain confidence though over time as you have to do different things. Don't rush these things you'll regret it later
I’m 16, my GCSE’s are soon lol. Ik but like I wanna pass first time so it’s all done. I do exercise as much as I can but my mum makes me study more as it’s important and I can’t reason with her. Plenty of stuff can go wrong in a relationship, cheating, no trust and financial difficulties (could be abit further). Well if you are in love and in a stable relationship then there’s going to be trust, no way can you be in a relationship if you can’t trust each other, that doesn’t make it healthy. Like I want to be able to trust who I am with, I’m a trustworthy person myself. My mum just says that you can’t trust anyone, and that’s how I’m brainwashed because all of the religious talk. Ik where you are coming from, I wouldn’t rush into something serious, I have to get to the know person and be happy and comfortable, I’m not the type who does that as it’s just not me. I just want to be loved by someone who actually understands me.

(Original post by sbsh44456)
Also, please don't try and fit yourself into a label just yet with sexuality etc, at your age you're still learning what you really are, just be you and relax and let it be. Labels don't define what you are and don't do a good job at summing you up. So just take life as it comes.
I’ve known what I’ve been since I was curious at 13, it’s not left me since and I have an attraction to both opposite and same sex, can’t change that.
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Anonymous #1
#22
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#22
(Original post by Pathway)
Honestly, I know this might be hard to accept, but not everyone will accept you for who you are. Including people who are related to you by blood. And this is especially true of people who are religious I've found.

Regarding your mum, I am sorry about her behaviour. She reminds me a lot of my dad tbh. My dad's Iranian (my mum is British) and I gave up with my dad a long, long time ago. I don't care for his opinions on basically anything at this point, I stay out of his way and he stays out of mine. You need to understand that even if you love someone they might not love you unconditionally (even though parents should) and you have to mourn that. I'm not really sure what else to say.

Accept yourself and other people's acceptance will not matter as you will not need their validation. You are valid in your own right. Give yourself compassion. It's hard growing up when you feel like a part of you isn't accepted and they don't love you regardless, it is. Surround yourself with people who love you for you. Love yourself.
Sorry for the late reply!

I know that not everyone will accept me and that’s fine, but it’s that someone who is extremely close to, brought me up which I am extremely grateful and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I’d hate to stop talking to my mum, but it will be what it is I guess.

I know, but she really said some toxic things when was on a bus a few weeks ago, literally had to turn so she couldn’t see my face filling with tears. I know I can’t live a life that will be a lie, I want to live my life who I want and not over someone controlling me for years. I’ve told her to back off a bit, but she doesn’t listen because she knows best, as she says... but then it does scare me what she could do after I tell her, I don’t want her thinking someone has made me gay as no one has made me, I’ve known it for a long time, I just hate not being honest as we are very close and honest with each other. I’m always ready to argue when she says something rude about the LGBT community, by doing so she just says ‘stop acting like a gay girl, you are a young man act like one’. Its just infuriating to hear my own mother say that.

The majority of my friends know I’m Bi and are fine and happy with it. I can just be myself and not be closeted. I’m just worried I’ll have to live a lie...
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Anonymous #1
#23
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#23
Hey

I’m not sure if anyone remembers me or this thread but I guess I want to tell you all something if that’s alright...
So on Friday after school, me and my mum had a fairly toxic argument, it started off with the fact that I am not religious, but I respect she is and I’d rather be myself but respect that what she does in her home and I respect that, she had none of that. Then it came onto the subject of my dads side of the family because it greatly upset me, I won’t go into too much detail but she pretty much said “they all have no morals because they aren’t religious”. Surely you can have morals and be religious or non religious?

After that I rang my dad is tears over it (this is embarrassing lmao, shouldn’t be a 5 year old) and he quickly came over before he started work and I was in the car and I told him what she had been saying and stuff. I was in more tears, then I went back in, he came in with me and it was pretty much fine. He went, I went to my room as I was going to call my friend as she told me her to ring her after he left, then my mum comes up and starts off at me again over him and more stuff that upset me more, thankfully I hid the tears from her.

We eventually made up later that night and we was just civil, but I don’t think my dad is convinced as he wants to sit me down and talk over it. I’ll be honest I’m not in the mood for either of them, all they do is annoy me and when they are civil it tends to end in an argument between them and I don’t like seeing them having to argue in front me.
These are the times I wish I was in a relationship but then I’d think I’d bore them with this lol
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sbsh44456
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#24
Report 2 weeks ago
#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey

I’m not sure if anyone remembers me or this thread but I guess I want to tell you all something if that’s alright...
So on Friday after school, me and my mum had a fairly toxic argument, it started off with the fact that I am not religious, but I respect she is and I’d rather be myself but respect that what she does in her home and I respect that, she had none of that. Then it came onto the subject of my dads side of the family because it greatly upset me, I won’t go into too much detail but she pretty much said “they all have no morals because they aren’t religious”. Surely you can have morals and be religious or non religious?

After that I rang my dad is tears over it (this is embarrassing lmao, shouldn’t be a 5 year old) and he quickly came over before he started work and I was in the car and I told him what she had been saying and stuff. I was in more tears, then I went back in, he came in with me and it was pretty much fine. He went, I went to my room as I was going to call my friend as she told me her to ring her after he left, then my mum comes up and starts off at me again over him and more stuff that upset me more, thankfully I hid the tears from her.

We eventually made up later that night and we was just civil, but I don’t think my dad is convinced as he wants to sit me down and talk over it. I’ll be honest I’m not in the mood for either of them, all they do is annoy me and when they are civil it tends to end in an argument between them and I don’t like seeing them having to argue in front me.
These are the times I wish I was in a relationship but then I’d think I’d bore them with this lol
Hi, I remember you. I'm assuming she's muslim by all this so tell her that in Islam you can't force religion on people (there's many verses on this explaining that you can't force or compel others to be guided to the religion and only the Lord almighty can do that). There's even the story of Noah not being able to make his son agree with him or listen to him. Explain to her these points. From her perspective she might be wanting to "save" you which is obviously well intended but she's hurting you.

Also, on another note: The "can you be moral and not religious" debate is a funny one though, you'll hear all sorts of views on it and its a very passionate debate from both sides, both believing they're right, so ultimately its up to you to make your decision on that one I can't put words in your mouth.
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Anonymous #1
#25
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#25
(Original post by sbsh44456)
Hi, I remember you. I'm assuming she's muslim by all this so tell her that in Islam you can't force religion on people (there's many verses on this explaining that you can't force or compel others to be guided to the religion and only the Lord almighty can do that). There's even the story of Noah not being able to make his son agree with him or listen to him. Explain to her these points. From her perspective she might be wanting to "save" you which is obviously well intended but she's hurting you.

Also, on another note: The "can you be moral and not religious" debate is a funny one though, you'll hear all sorts of views on it and its a very passionate debate from both sides, both believing they're right, so ultimately its up to you to make your decision on that one I can't put words in your mouth.
Yeah she is, I’m not. She’s never done any of those religious things though that they do babies, well I’ve never had them done to me. I’ve never been a mosque, I’m not close to any Muslim people either. My dads not religious so I follow him.

Well I’m not religious and I don’t do anything that’s considered bad, I treat everybody with respect as I would be treated with.
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