Girlfriend says we wouldn’t work long distance

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Anonymous #1
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My friend who lives out of town offered me to move in with him, I said no and my gf said we wouldn’t be able to work from long distance anyway because it’d be too difficult but she’s going to uni next year so is she trying to tell me something?
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ProbablyPallas
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Ask her?
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Dunnig Kruger
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Yep, enjoy the time you spend together with your girlfriend until September as much as you can.

And then on the eve of her departure to uni, set her free. Totally free. Give her your full blessing to not bother contacting you during term time and for her to go on dates with and sleep with other men.

You will also be setting yourself free at the same time too.

In and amongst this teenaged romance stuff, do everything that you can to work like a dog and to work effectively for your A levels.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Yep, enjoy the time you spend together with your girlfriend until September as much as you can.

And then on the eve of her departure to uni, set her free. Totally free. Give her your full blessing to not bother contacting you during term time and for her to go on dates with and sleep with other men.

You will also be setting yourself free at the same time too.

In and amongst this teenaged romance stuff, do everything that you can to work like a dog and to work effectively for your A levels.
Might as well leave her now right?
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Dunnig Kruger
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You could leave her now.

But, what would be less of a distraction for your A levels, leaving her now, or setting her free in September?

Which would result in you leaving her on better terms? Leaving now, or setting her free in September?

What would you rather do with your spare leisure time, especially in July and August? Would you rather spend it alone or with her?
What are the chances of you getting a better girlfriend to spend time with in July and August? If you think they are good, you should leave her now.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
You could leave her now.

But, what would be less of a distraction for your A levels, leaving her now, or setting her free in September?

Which would result in you leaving her on better terms? Leaving now, or setting her free in September?

What would you rather do with your spare leisure time, especially in July and August? Would you rather spend it alone or with her?
What are the chances of you getting a better girlfriend to spend time with in July and August? If you think they are good, you should leave her now.
What’s the point in anything you just said. Knowing she’s gonna break up with me might as well leave her
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Yep, enjoy the time you spend together with your girlfriend until September as much as you can.

And then on the eve of her departure to uni, set her free. Totally free. Give her your full blessing to not bother contacting you during term time and for her to go on dates with and sleep with other men.

You will also be setting yourself free at the same time too.

In and amongst this teenaged romance stuff, do everything that you can to work like a dog and to work effectively for your A levels.
Lmao, sorry but this is crazy advice.
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MrMusician95
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OP, long distance works if both parties are willing to put in the effort. She seems like she doesn't want to and that she wants to be single at uni. My advice is dump her, focus on your studies and ace them!
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sinfonietta
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She's telling you that she is not willing to do long distance. Your relationship has an expiration date: the end of next summer.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What’s the point in anything you just said. Knowing she’s gonna break up with me might as well leave her
Do you have A levels in June?

If you do, the last thing you want is emotional turmoil due to breaking up with your girlfriend. It's too much of a distraction.

Your A levels are the most important exams of your life.

Your romantic life should be "steady as she goes" for the next 4 months. Emotional stability is what you want.

The big downside of leaving her now is all the emotional upset that you and her will have now. In the lead up to your A levels.
Don't do it. Put the break-up on the back burner.

And even though she's going to break up with you, she's still a nice enough person. And you can still share a lot of great times together before you go your separate ways.

(Original post by MrMusician95)
Lmao, sorry but this is crazy advice.
My advice is hugely sensible.

I have the benefit of being emotionally detached from the situation.

I don't mind if you take any notice of my advice or not. It's no skin off my nose what you do with your life.
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 1 month ago
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black tea
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Do you have A levels in June?

If you do, the last thing you want is emotional turmoil due to breaking up with your girlfriend. It's too much of a distraction.

Your A levels are the most important exams of your life.

Your romantic life should be "steady as she goes" for the next 4 months. Emotional stability is what you want.

The big downside of leaving her now is all the emotional upset that you and her will have now. In the lead up to your A levels.
Don't do it. Put the break-up on the back burner.

And even though she's going to break up with you, she's still a nice enough person. And you can still share a lot of great times together before you go your separate ways.
How is knowing that your girlfriend will break up with you in 4 months "emotional stability"? Sounds massively stressful to me...

OP, if I was you, I would bring this up with your girlfriend and talk about where your relationship is going. If I was in your position and my girlfriend confirmed that she didn't see the relationship lasting beyond the next few months, I would leave. Long-distance relationships can work, but if your girlfriend isn't prepared to make it work with you living out of town, she will most certainly not want to make it work when she moves away for uni. Staying in the relationship just for the sake of it is like flogging a dead horse, imo.
Last edited by black tea; 1 month ago
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by black tea)
How is knowing that your girlfriend will break up with you in 4 months "emotional stability"? Sounds massively stressful to me...
It's less stressful now and for the next 4 months knowing that you will amicably go your separate ways in September than it is breaking up now.
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black tea
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's less stressful now and for the next 4 months knowing that you will amicably go your separate ways in September than it is breaking up now.
That's your opinion, not a fact.
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StriderHort
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(This thread is Champions League Grimness )
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by black tea)
That's your opinion, not a fact.
It's your opinion that it's my opinion and not a fact.
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black tea
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's your opinion that it's my opinion and not a fact.
It's not a fact. Different people do things for different reasons. You are clearly someone who is motivated by the process and not the end goal. But there are people out there who are very goal-driven and to whom staying in a relationship that is going nowhere would be a pointless waste of time and energy and a source of unnecessary stress. Let OP judge for themselves.
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Dunnig Kruger
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It is a fact that the human mind dwells more on what happened yesterday than what will happen in 7 months time.

Especially if what happened yesterday was the dumping of a good enough girlfriend, because she stated that she didn't want a long distance relationship when she went off to uni.

The end goal of the vast majority of 6th Form relationships is to serve as an apprenticeship in love and romantic relationships. With a small chance that the apprenticeship might turn out to be a permanent arrangement with that particular person.

The OP will learn (next to) nothing about relationships in July and August if he doesn't have a girlfriend.

That's why I asked earlier in the thread (post #5) if there was a good chance that the OP could get a better girlfriend than his current one to spend time with in July and August.
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black tea
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It is a fact that the human mind dwells more on what happened yesterday than what will happen in 7 months time.

Especially if what happened yesterday was the dumping of a good enough girlfriend, because she stated that she didn't want a long distance relationship when she went off to uni.

The end goal of the vast majority of 6th Form relationships is to serve as an apprenticeship in love and romantic relationships. With a small chance that the apprenticeship might turn out to be a permanent arrangement with that particular person.

The OP will learn (next to) nothing about relationships in July and August if he doesn't have a girlfriend.

That's why I asked earlier in the thread (post #5) if there was a good chance that the OP could get a better girlfriend than his current one to spend time with in July and August.
Why does OP need to learn about relationships in July and August? There is more to life than having a girlfriend.
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louisec.5069
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My friend who lives out of town offered me to move in with him, I said no and my gf said we wouldn’t be able to work from long distance anyway because it’d be too difficult but she’s going to uni next year so is she trying to tell me something?
okay, being optimistic here but maybe shes just trying to take your side? like, you were offered to move in with him, you said no, and she's showing you she agrees with your decision? idk, try communication
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gjd800
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lololol
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