How to end it with a Muslim girl.

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I have been in a relationship with Aisha for the past 3 months now. At the very beginning everything was going really well between us, so well that she confessed her love for me after just 3 weeks of us being together and said she wanted to marry me. Which at the time I found quite weird, as 3 weeks was a bit too soon to be falling in love, but I didn't say anything to her about it and agreed that if things continue to stay in the right track then I can see us being in matrimony.




Anyway, a few days later after that call, me and Aisha met up and ended up spending practically the whole day together and by nightfall I was planning to return home but she had other plans and wanted me to come over for dinner at her father's home. So I agreed. But when we got there no-one was home, so she then insisted that I came with her to her room so she could show me her paintings, so I did. Anyway, one thing led to another and we ended up making love on her bed instead. I didn't plan on it happening. It just did. I knew at the time that me copulating with her would mean I would have to marry her as Aisha is a pious Muslim sister.

And in retrospect, I knew what I did was very wrong, and an act I would later regret, but Aisha is very attractive and I allowed my hormones to corrupt my mind. Plus I am only human.





But now that we are 3 months into the relationship I have come to the realisation that she is not the girl I want to marry. She has severe anger problems and shows this nasty vindictive side to her when things don't go her way or I upset her, that even if I offer a sincere apology for hurting her unintentionally with my words, she'll still hold onto that grudge till she finds a way to emotionally hurt me with insults or by embarrassing me. She even went so far to emotionally blackmail me because she knows I suffer with depression from my dark childhood. Which she once used against me in order to mock and emasculate me. Which I now regret. I was also bullied at school for having a lisp when I was a child. But is now completely gone. Which she once took the opportunity to ridicule me and repeat every word I said with a lisp, in order to make me feel insecure and stop me from speaking further. But everyone I ask says I don't have a lisp. Which truly showed me how manipulative she can be when she wants to mess with my head, making me seriously regret ever opening up about my troubled past with her.

She also acts entitled and wants everything to go her way, from the food we order at a restaurant to the way I style my hair. but she did have a spoilt childhood and she is her father's favourite and only daughter so him and her brother's do spoil her a lot and literally treat her like a princess. If Aisha wants an ice cream she'll ask her brothers and they'll run to the shop straight away in order to please her.


At the beginning of our relationship and even before our relationship I kind of knew she had a bit of a temper, but it was always manageable for me, and I also have a bit of a temper so I was fine with it.

But within these few months of me getting to know her more and more I realise that I will not be able to mentally tolerate her character in the future if we ever decide to actually get married and move in together.. It would be unbareable.



I want to break up with Aisha asap. I have gotten to know another muslim sister named Maryam for quite some time in my area and have grown really fond of her and plan on being in a relationship with her in the near future instead.



But I don't want to just rip the bandaid off and dump her out of the blue as Aisha is a pious hijabi and the priority for any Muslim sister is that they keep their chastity for the man they intend to marry.



So me breaking up with her out of nowhere will leave her utterly devastated and damaged. And I truly feel guilty about taking her virginity from her, that she was meant to keep for her husband.

And that is the only reason I am yet to break up with Aisha. Otherwise I would have ended it by now. But I just can't bring myself to do it. She truly believes that I will marry her in the future. And me leaving her will shatter her.

But at the same time I don't want to remain in a relationship that is quickly deteriorating my mental well being, when I can just jump ship and be with Maryam who isn't as beautiful as Aisha but she has a good heart and actually makes me happy and cares about me.


Please any helpful advice would be much appreciated. Jazak Allah Khair.
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mykhanhwright
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#2
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Firstly, wow...

I think you need to sit down with her and talk to her and be honest. At the end of the day, this may seem daunting but in the future, she will appreciate your honesty in some way and you will feel less guilty because you didn't keep a lie up that you didn't want to be with her anymore. End it now before it's too late and no one should make you feel **** during a relationship, no matter if they are spoilt or not. Also, it's great that you have your eyes on another but for now, leave that situation be otherwise Aisha may assume other things if you move too quickly to this new girl and this will be bad, especially as you said she has severe anger problems.

Hope this helps you.
Last edited by mykhanhwright; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
#3
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Sticky one still.
And you know it's haram to have a relationship with non-mahram women (not that I care anyway)

Just tell her and be straight with her in person.
At the end of the day there's no point being in a relationship that your not not happy with she needs to take your feelings into consideration as well as her own.

And I'm just being honest here but you've dug yourself even deeper by talking to another girl at the same time, as this will tell her that you weren't really interested in her at all (I'm not saying this is true, but this is how she will/might interpret it).

You need explain to her that you don't want to pursue things any further and explain the mistakes you have made such as in the bedroom. Tell her that if you weren't honest with her now and let's say you were to get married and have kids and act like everything is fine when it's not can be really detrimental to you and her as a person and also to your imaginary kids. Tell her it's for the better and that clearly it wasn't written for you or her to be with each other and maybe there's something better for the both of you etc...

If you don't want to be with someone then you don't want to be with them simple as, don't feel like your trapped because your far from it

I mean it's only 3 months it's not like you've been together for like 5 years lol
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Anonymous #3
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:laugh: good luck when her father and uncles/brothers find out. You're toast.
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BBambiS
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(Original post by Anonymous):laugh: good luck when her father and uncles/brothers find out. You're toast.

Yup get ready for a good beating and it won't be the shoe or the remote or the broom lol
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Anonymous #1
#6
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(Original post by mykhanhwright)
Firstly, wow...

I think you need to sit down with her and talk to her and be honest. At the end of the day, this may seem daunting but in the future, she will appreciate your honesty in some way and you will feel less guilty because you didn't keep a lie up that you didn't want to be with her anymore. End it now before it's too late and no one should make you feel **** during a relationship, no matter if they are spoilt or not. Also, it's great that you have your eyes on another but for now, leave that situation be otherwise Aisha may assume other things if you move too quickly to this new girl and this will be bad, especially as you said she has severe anger problems.

Hope this helps you.
You're right, It's best I end it now and not prolong it any longer. She'll end up hurt whether I tell her now or not.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
:laugh: good luck when her father and uncles/brothers find out. You're toast.
Why is that funny? You find violence amusing?

Firstly, I am not a small guy, I am over 6 feet tall. so I can protect myself against her two brothers, who are quite skinny and under 5 "8". But if I ever did need help then i'd either call the police or ask my brothers to help me in disposing of them. Sorted.
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ShahedAli-02
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been in a relationship with Aisha for the past 3 months now. At the very beginning everything was going really well between us, so well that she confessed her love for me after just 3 weeks of us being together and said she wanted to marry me. Which at the time I found quite weird, as 3 weeks was a bit too soon to be falling in love, but I didn't say anything to her about it and agreed that if things continue to stay in the right track then I can see us being in matrimony.




Anyway, a few days later after that call, me and Aisha met up and ended up spending practically the whole day together and by nightfall I was planning to return home but she had other plans and wanted me to come over for dinner at her father's home. So I agreed. But when we got there no-one was home, so she then insisted that I came with her to her room so she could show me her paintings, so I did. Anyway, one thing led to another and we ended up making love on her bed instead. I didn't plan on it happening. It just did. I knew at the time that me copulating with her would mean I would have to marry her as Aisha is a pious Muslim sister.

And in retrospect, I knew what I did was very wrong, and an act I would later regret, but Aisha is very attractive and I allowed my hormones to corrupt my mind. Plus I am only human.





But now that we are 3 months into the relationship I have come to the realisation that she is not the girl I want to marry. She has severe anger problems and shows this nasty vindictive side to her when things don't go her way or I upset her, that even if I offer a sincere apology for hurting her unintentionally with my words, she'll still hold onto that grudge till she finds a way to emotionally hurt me with insults or by embarrassing me. She even went so far to emotionally blackmail me because she knows I suffer with depression from my dark childhood. Which she once used against me in order to mock and emasculate me. Which I now regret. I was also bullied at school for having a lisp when I was a child. But is now completely gone. Which she once took the opportunity to ridicule me and repeat every word I said with a lisp, in order to make me feel insecure and stop me from speaking further. But everyone I ask says I don't have a lisp. Which truly showed me how manipulative she can be when she wants to mess with my head, making me seriously regret ever opening up about my troubled past with her.

She also acts entitled and wants everything to go her way, from the food we order at a restaurant to the way I style my hair. but she did have a spoilt childhood and she is her father's favourite and only daughter so him and her brother's do spoil her a lot and literally treat her like a princess. If Aisha wants an ice cream she'll ask her brothers and they'll run to the shop straight away in order to please her.


At the beginning of our relationship and even before our relationship I kind of knew she had a bit of a temper, but it was always manageable for me, and I also have a bit of a temper so I was fine with it.

But within these few months of me getting to know her more and more I realise that I will not be able to mentally tolerate her character in the future if we ever decide to actually get married and move in together.. It would be unbareable.



I want to break up with Aisha asap. I have gotten to know another muslim sister named Maryam for quite some time in my area and have grown really fond of her and plan on being in a relationship with her in the near future instead.



But I don't want to just rip the bandaid off and dump her out of the blue as Aisha is a pious hijabi and the priority for any Muslim sister is that they keep their chastity for the man they intend to marry.



So me breaking up with her out of nowhere will leave her utterly devastated and damaged. And I truly feel guilty about taking her virginity from her, that she was meant to keep for her husband.

And that is the only reason I am yet to break up with Aisha. Otherwise I would have ended it by now. But I just can't bring myself to do it. She truly believes that I will marry her in the future. And me leaving her will shatter her.

But at the same time I don't want to remain in a relationship that is quickly deteriorating my mental well being, when I can just jump ship and be with Maryam who isn't as beautiful as Aisha but she has a good heart and actually makes me happy and cares about me.


Please any helpful advice would be much appreciated. Jazak Allah Khair.
Hello there I am sorry to hear about what you’re going through, of course what is happening isn’t entirely right, but I think you could really do is leave her because she didn’t really seem what you thought she was, and the devil can get the better of us at times, as you said she sort of dragged you in to make love on the bed, the solution to it is to stay away from this, as of course I’m not sure exactly how old you are , but marriage is a very tricky situation and you want to play your cards right, you were very clever that you saw past the lushness and was confused about why would she want to marry you after 3 weeks, in that I think you need to note that her intentions may be lustful, by all means you have to end it, you have to speak up and say that you don’t like how you’re being treated, ask Allah for guidance , and tell her that for the best of both of you it’s not the right thing to do , to carry on the relationship , because you of course don’t like to be pushed around and just be a slave to your partner which I can infer from there, you want mutual respect and love, and I think with this new girl, be careful that your perception isn’t overriding what she actually is, because a lot of times as guys (or girls) we may see someone , see how pious they are mashallah, but that’s what they are showing you, do you know how they actually are?
Just like how you got to know Aisha more she would get angry at you, Maryam may very well be the same, you have to e careful, turn to Allah for guidance because this guilt may be a sign from Allah to turn back and pray the one all mighty.
May Allah give you power to overcome the devil and be a good Muslim, Amin.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by ShahedAli-02)
Hello there I am sorry to hear about what you’re going through, of course what is happening isn’t entirely right, but I think you could really do is leave her because she didn’t really seem what you thought she was, and the devil can get the better of us at times, as you said she sort of dragged you in to make love on the bed, the solution to it is to stay away from this, as of course I’m not sure exactly how old you are , but marriage is a very tricky situation and you want to play your cards right, you were very clever that you saw past the lushness and was confused about why would she want to marry you after 3 weeks, in that I think you need to note that her intentions may be lustful, by all means you have to end it, you have to speak up and say that you don’t like how you’re being treated, ask Allah for guidance , and tell her that for the best of both of you it’s not the right thing to do , to carry on the relationship , because you of course don’t like to be pushed around and just be a slave to your partner which I can infer from there, you want mutual respect and love, and I think with this new girl, be careful that your perception isn’t overriding what she actually is, because a lot of times as guys (or girls) we may see someone , see how pious they are mashallah, but that’s what they are showing you, do you know how they actually are?
Just like how you got to know Aisha more she would get angry at you, Maryam may very well be the same, you have to e careful, turn to Allah for guidance because this guilt may be a sign from Allah to turn back and pray the one all mighty.
May Allah give you power to overcome the devil and be a good Muslim, Amin.
Thank you for the good advice. You're right, I should not judge a book by it's cover and good first impressions aren't always what they seem.

I will stay in contact with maryam but I will not commit myself with her until I see if she is genuine Insha Allah.

Thank you. You're too kind. And I will continue to make dua for protection from shaytan and that Allah helps me to be a better Muslim Insha Allah.
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WoodlandSorcerer
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Obvious troll post. Aisha and Maryam? How basic can you get??? :lol:
Last edited by WoodlandSorcerer; 1 month ago
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AmberDalia
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Has to be fake. Why would her father let you go in her room and no way she would be that daring to do it there?
Sounds like a kindle book 😂😂😂
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username2028267
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Premarital sex is Haram, sorry brother but you messed up long time. Go repent to God first and then think about Aa'ishah!
Okay... Nice to meet you story teller :lol:
Last edited by username2028267; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AmberDalia)
Has to be fake. Why would her father let you go in her room and no way she would be that daring to do it there?
Sounds like a kindle book 😂😂😂
If you read the post I just said no-one was home at the time.
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AmberDalia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If you read the post I just said no-one was home at the time.
Still she would never take you to her house if she's from a decent family and neighbourhood.
Fake.
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maniali123
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involving the third party in your relationship is not good but rather go and both have a talk with each other about your mistakes and her mistakes and its improvement....
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been in a relationship with Aisha for the past 3 months now. At the very beginning everything was going really well between us, so well that she confessed her love for me after just 3 weeks of us being together and said she wanted to marry me. Which at the time I found quite weird, as 3 weeks was a bit too soon to be falling in love, but I didn't say anything to her about it and agreed that if things continue to stay in the right track then I can see us being in matrimony.




Anyway, a few days later after that call, me and Aisha met up and ended up spending practically the whole day together and by nightfall I was planning to return home but she had other plans and wanted me to come over for dinner at her father's home. So I agreed. But when we got there no-one was home, so she then insisted that I came with her to her room so she could show me her paintings, so I did. Anyway, one thing led to another and we ended up making love on her bed instead. I didn't plan on it happening. It just did. I knew at the time that me copulating with her would mean I would have to marry her as Aisha is a pious Muslim sister.

And in retrospect, I knew what I did was very wrong, and an act I would later regret, but Aisha is very attractive and I allowed my hormones to corrupt my mind. Plus I am only human.





But now that we are 3 months into the relationship I have come to the realisation that she is not the girl I want to marry. She has severe anger problems and shows this nasty vindictive side to her when things don't go her way or I upset her, that even if I offer a sincere apology for hurting her unintentionally with my words, she'll still hold onto that grudge till she finds a way to emotionally hurt me with insults or by embarrassing me. She even went so far to emotionally blackmail me because she knows I suffer with depression from my dark childhood. Which she once used against me in order to mock and emasculate me. Which I now regret. I was also bullied at school for having a lisp when I was a child. But is now completely gone. Which she once took the opportunity to ridicule me and repeat every word I said with a lisp, in order to make me feel insecure and stop me from speaking further. But everyone I ask says I don't have a lisp. Which truly showed me how manipulative she can be when she wants to mess with my head, making me seriously regret ever opening up about my troubled past with her.

She also acts entitled and wants everything to go her way, from the food we order at a restaurant to the way I style my hair. but she did have a spoilt childhood and she is her father's favourite and only daughter so him and her brother's do spoil her a lot and literally treat her like a princess. If Aisha wants an ice cream she'll ask her brothers and they'll run to the shop straight away in order to please her.


At the beginning of our relationship and even before our relationship I kind of knew she had a bit of a temper, but it was always manageable for me, and I also have a bit of a temper so I was fine with it.

But within these few months of me getting to know her more and more I realise that I will not be able to mentally tolerate her character in the future if we ever decide to actually get married and move in together.. It would be unbareable.



I want to break up with Aisha asap. I have gotten to know another muslim sister named Maryam for quite some time in my area and have grown really fond of her and plan on being in a relationship with her in the near future instead.



But I don't want to just rip the bandaid off and dump her out of the blue as Aisha is a pious hijabi and the priority for any Muslim sister is that they keep their chastity for the man they intend to marry.



So me breaking up with her out of nowhere will leave her utterly devastated and damaged. And I truly feel guilty about taking her virginity from her, that she was meant to keep for her husband.

And that is the only reason I am yet to break up with Aisha. Otherwise I would have ended it by now. But I just can't bring myself to do it. She truly believes that I will marry her in the future. And me leaving her will shatter her.

But at the same time I don't want to remain in a relationship that is quickly deteriorating my mental well being, when I can just jump ship and be with Maryam who isn't as beautiful as Aisha but she has a good heart and actually makes me happy and cares about me.


Please any helpful advice would be much appreciated. Jazak Allah Khair.
Sorry bro, you played yourself
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Anonymous #4
#17
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what u did was just wrong even as a Muslim, it is totally fake, no hijabi/ pious girl would do that stuff.
sorry, just my opinion.
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Anonymous #3
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Epic fail, frankly.
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If you read the post I just said no-one was home at the time.
"Come up and see my collection of Viennese etchings..."
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Anonymous #2
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:lol::lol:Idiot like people would believe this
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