Mental health ruined my degree - what now?

Watch this thread
This discussion is closed.
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
TW: Suicide

My university life was a hard one, I had dropped out of my first degree because I was miserable and my friend I know committed suicide that year. So I changed course and university, closer to home so I had less stress to handle.

At first it all went okay, but eventually the group of girls I became friends with began ghosting me, ignoring me in class, starting going out with everyone in the group but me, it hit me quite hard as I never knew what I did wrong, I became so anxious of going in I rarely attended. I did raise this to 3 lecturers, one of them being my course director, and I was in hysterical tears as I told each one.

Despite my attendance I continued to submit the highest graded work, I consistently received 1sts and 2:1s.

Spoiler:
Show
The August before my final year started, I had gone to a party, I drove so I couldnt drive home after drinking, so everyone left except for me and 2 other people. One of the people that stayed killed themselves in the house that night, I had never slept, I couldn't, I wanted to walk around the house out of boredom but I stayed in the spare room, I lived with the guilt of "what if I had just walked around like I wanted to? Could I have stopped them? Could I have called an ambulance before it was too late?" When sunrise happened, forensics teams arrived, I still was unaware as I hadn't left the room.


My mental health took a huge decline then for my final year. My assignments were still well marked, though I wasn't particularly proud of anything I submitted.

My dissertation was dreadful. 3 weeks before it was due my boyfriend of 3 years left me, I found out he cheated on me on our holiday in April. My brain came to a standstill. I couldn't work, I couldn't think, every trauma I had dealt with just hit me, and my dissertation was hit hard. I even forgot the whole section on ethics, so I could have failed it. My dissertation mentor had been fired and my uni never told me, so when I emailed him for help I never got a response.

I got into a masters starting September 2020, and looking ahead I dont know what I can do.

A PhD wants a 2:1 or above and a masters.

I got 2:1s and 1sts my entire degree but my dissertation got 44 and took me to a 2:2 (by about 2 marks off a 2:1).

Can I still apply to PhDs? I was really struggling in life and my dissertation grade does not reflect me as a student, I feel like my whole life has been ruined.
Last edited by Deyesy; 2 years ago
0
grKiro
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
Please calm down......it’s not the End! People been to more worst situation!

Try with Down the uni rank and you’ll find something hopefully
0
The_Lonely_Goatherd
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
TW: Suicide

My university life was a hard one, I had dropped out of my first degree because I was miserable and my friend I know committed suicide that year. So I changed course and university, closer to home so I had less stress to handle.

At first it all went okay, but eventually the group of girls I became friends with began ghosting me, ignoring me in class, starting going out with everyone in the group but me, it hit me quite hard as I never knew what I did wrong, I became so anxious of going in I rarely attended. I did raise this to 3 lecturers, one of them being my course director, and I was in hysterical tears as I told each one.

Despite my attendance I continued to submit the highest graded work, I consistently received 1sts and 2:1s.

Spoiler:
Show
The August before my final year started, I had gone to a party, I drove so I couldnt drive home after drinking, so everyone left except for me and 2 other people. One of the people that stayed killed themselves in the house that night, I had never slept, I couldn't, I wanted to walk around the house out of boredom but I stayed in the spare room, I lived with the guilt of "what if I had just walked around like I wanted to? Could I have stopped them? Could I have called an ambulance before it was too late?" When sunrise happened, forensics teams arrived, I still was unaware as I hadn't left the room.


My mental health took a huge decline then for my final year. My assignments were still well marked, though I wasn't particularly proud of anything I submitted.

My dissertation was dreadful. 3 weeks before it was due my boyfriend of 3 years left me, I found out he cheated on me on our holiday in April. My brain came to a standstill. I couldn't work, I couldn't think, every trauma I had dealt with just hit me, and my dissertation was hit hard. I even forgot the whole section on ethics, so I could have failed it. My dissertation mentor had been fired and my uni never told me, so when I emailed him for help I never got a response.

I got into a masters starting September 2020, and looking ahead I dont know what I can do.

A PhD wants a 2:1 or above and a masters.

I got 2:1s and 1sts my entire degree but my dissertation got 44 and took me to a 2:2 (by about 2 marks off a 2:1).

Can I still apply to PhDs? I was really struggling in life and my dissertation grade does not reflect me as a student, I feel like my whole life has been ruined.
First of all, I want to say how sorry I am to read of all you've been through. It's a huge amount and it is absolutely not your fault that the combination of all those things affected your dissertation.

May I ask how your mental health is doing atm? Do you feel resilient enough to cope with the Masters course?

Is a PhD something you'd be genuinely interested in doing/had been planning on doing anyway, or is it because you're worried about auto-filters for some graduate schemes, job-wise? FWIW, I got a 2.2 at undergrad and am in my third year of a PhD course atm. That's despite my grades and that I have ongoing severe mental health issues. I got into my Masters and PhD courses because I was able to prove (via references and submitted written work) that my 2.2 was not reflective of my abilities. One of the referees (my undergrad dissertation supervisor) is a Big Name in my field, which I'm pretty sure helped a lot (in my case at least).

It also helped that I took time out between the Masters and PhD. By the time I applied for the PhD course, I had my Masters results to hand. So even though my undergrad degree was a 2.2 (with 57 for the dissertation), my Masters was a Merit. So still not ideal, but at least I got 68 for that dissertation.

I don't think your whole life is ruined at all, btw. But if you are genuinely interested in a PhD course and find a suitable supervisor to take you on/supervise your project, be aware it's very tough-going and not mental health-friendly :nope:

Do you have people willing to provide strong references for you, if you apply for a PhD course? Who gave the references for your Masters?
0
Pathway
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
I'm truly sorry to hear about what you have been through. If you ever need someone to talk to, you're welcome to message me. I've lost a three important people to suicide as well and I know how much it changes everything. You're not alone.

Regarding carrying on studying, make sure you're doing well mentally and have support structures in place. I can't comment too much because I've not done any post-graduate study (too ill to). The_Lonely_Goatherd has good advice though!
2
Noodlzzz
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report 2 years ago
#5
Another 2.2'er doing a PhD
0
GMAN5522
Badges: 1
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 4 weeks ago
#6
How did things turn out for u cause my situation is very similar
0
Anonymous #2
#7
Report 4 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
First of all, I want to say how sorry I am to read of all you've been through. It's a huge amount and it is absolutely not your fault that the combination of all those things affected your dissertation.

May I ask how your mental health is doing atm? Do you feel resilient enough to cope with the Masters course?

Is a PhD something you'd be genuinely interested in doing/had been planning on doing anyway, or is it because you're worried about auto-filters for some graduate schemes, job-wise? FWIW, I got a 2.2 at undergrad and am in my third year of a PhD course atm. That's despite my grades and that I have ongoing severe mental health issues. I got into my Masters and PhD courses because I was able to prove (via references and submitted written work) that my 2.2 was not reflective of my abilities. One of the referees (my undergrad dissertation supervisor) is a Big Name in my field, which I'm pretty sure helped a lot (in my case at least).

It also helped that I took time out between the Masters and PhD. By the time I applied for the PhD course, I had my Masters results to hand. So even though my undergrad degree was a 2.2 (with 57 for the dissertation), my Masters was a Merit. So still not ideal, but at least I got 68 for that dissertation.

I don't think your whole life is ruined at all, btw. But if you are genuinely interested in a PhD course and find a suitable supervisor to take you on/supervise your project, be aware it's very tough-going and not mental health-friendly :nope:

Do you have people willing to provide strong references for you, if you apply for a PhD course? Who gave the references for your Masters?
Can I ask how you got a PhD position with a 2:2? Is there a strategic approach to use to optimise applications working in your favour? Also, were you ever asked about your 2:2?
0
The_Lonely_Goatherd
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#8
Report 4 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Can I ask how you got a PhD position with a 2:2? Is there a strategic approach to use to optimise applications working in your favour? Also, were you ever asked about your 2:2?
It was fairly straightforward for me: I just accepted from the outset that getting a funded place would be off the cards (though I still gave it a shot, in case!). So the main task was to prove that my 2.2 isn't representative of my abilities. One of my referees is a huge name in my particular academic field and he gave a very strong reference, apparently, testifying that the 2.2 was due to circumstances beyond my control and that I'm not 2.2 person generally. Plus my 2.2 was from Oxford - I think both these things really helped me to get my place. I think I just explained the 2.2 in the interviews I had, I'm fairly open about my mental health in those contexts and don't mind talking about it. So I think I'm the one who brought it up
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Were exams easier or harder than you expected?

Easier (6)
40%
As I expected (3)
20%
Harder (5)
33.33%
Something else (tell us in the thread) (1)
6.67%

Watched Threads

View All