Mental health ruined my degree - what now?
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TW: Suicide
My university life was a hard one, I had dropped out of my first degree because I was miserable and my friend I know committed suicide that year. So I changed course and university, closer to home so I had less stress to handle.
At first it all went okay, but eventually the group of girls I became friends with began ghosting me, ignoring me in class, starting going out with everyone in the group but me, it hit me quite hard as I never knew what I did wrong, I became so anxious of going in I rarely attended. I did raise this to 3 lecturers, one of them being my course director, and I was in hysterical tears as I told each one.
Despite my attendance I continued to submit the highest graded work, I consistently received 1sts and 2:1s.
My mental health took a huge decline then for my final year. My assignments were still well marked, though I wasn't particularly proud of anything I submitted.
My dissertation was dreadful. 3 weeks before it was due my boyfriend of 3 years left me, I found out he cheated on me on our holiday in April. My brain came to a standstill. I couldn't work, I couldn't think, every trauma I had dealt with just hit me, and my dissertation was hit hard. I even forgot the whole section on ethics, so I could have failed it. My dissertation mentor had been fired and my uni never told me, so when I emailed him for help I never got a response.
I got into a masters starting September 2020, and looking ahead I dont know what I can do.
A PhD wants a 2:1 or above and a masters.
I got 2:1s and 1sts my entire degree but my dissertation got 44 and took me to a 2:2 (by about 2 marks off a 2:1).
Can I still apply to PhDs? I was really struggling in life and my dissertation grade does not reflect me as a student, I feel like my whole life has been ruined.
My university life was a hard one, I had dropped out of my first degree because I was miserable and my friend I know committed suicide that year. So I changed course and university, closer to home so I had less stress to handle.
At first it all went okay, but eventually the group of girls I became friends with began ghosting me, ignoring me in class, starting going out with everyone in the group but me, it hit me quite hard as I never knew what I did wrong, I became so anxious of going in I rarely attended. I did raise this to 3 lecturers, one of them being my course director, and I was in hysterical tears as I told each one.
Despite my attendance I continued to submit the highest graded work, I consistently received 1sts and 2:1s.
Spoiler:
Show
The August before my final year started, I had gone to a party, I drove so I couldnt drive home after drinking, so everyone left except for me and 2 other people. One of the people that stayed killed themselves in the house that night, I had never slept, I couldn't, I wanted to walk around the house out of boredom but I stayed in the spare room, I lived with the guilt of "what if I had just walked around like I wanted to? Could I have stopped them? Could I have called an ambulance before it was too late?" When sunrise happened, forensics teams arrived, I still was unaware as I hadn't left the room.
My mental health took a huge decline then for my final year. My assignments were still well marked, though I wasn't particularly proud of anything I submitted.
My dissertation was dreadful. 3 weeks before it was due my boyfriend of 3 years left me, I found out he cheated on me on our holiday in April. My brain came to a standstill. I couldn't work, I couldn't think, every trauma I had dealt with just hit me, and my dissertation was hit hard. I even forgot the whole section on ethics, so I could have failed it. My dissertation mentor had been fired and my uni never told me, so when I emailed him for help I never got a response.
I got into a masters starting September 2020, and looking ahead I dont know what I can do.
A PhD wants a 2:1 or above and a masters.
I got 2:1s and 1sts my entire degree but my dissertation got 44 and took me to a 2:2 (by about 2 marks off a 2:1).
Can I still apply to PhDs? I was really struggling in life and my dissertation grade does not reflect me as a student, I feel like my whole life has been ruined.
Last edited by Deyesy; 2 years ago
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grKiro
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#2
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Please calm down......it’s not the End! People been to more worst situation!
Try with Down the uni rank and you’ll find something hopefully
Try with Down the uni rank and you’ll find something hopefully
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by Anonymous)
TW: Suicide
My university life was a hard one, I had dropped out of my first degree because I was miserable and my friend I know committed suicide that year. So I changed course and university, closer to home so I had less stress to handle.
At first it all went okay, but eventually the group of girls I became friends with began ghosting me, ignoring me in class, starting going out with everyone in the group but me, it hit me quite hard as I never knew what I did wrong, I became so anxious of going in I rarely attended. I did raise this to 3 lecturers, one of them being my course director, and I was in hysterical tears as I told each one.
Despite my attendance I continued to submit the highest graded work, I consistently received 1sts and 2:1s.
My mental health took a huge decline then for my final year. My assignments were still well marked, though I wasn't particularly proud of anything I submitted.
My dissertation was dreadful. 3 weeks before it was due my boyfriend of 3 years left me, I found out he cheated on me on our holiday in April. My brain came to a standstill. I couldn't work, I couldn't think, every trauma I had dealt with just hit me, and my dissertation was hit hard. I even forgot the whole section on ethics, so I could have failed it. My dissertation mentor had been fired and my uni never told me, so when I emailed him for help I never got a response.
I got into a masters starting September 2020, and looking ahead I dont know what I can do.
A PhD wants a 2:1 or above and a masters.
I got 2:1s and 1sts my entire degree but my dissertation got 44 and took me to a 2:2 (by about 2 marks off a 2:1).
Can I still apply to PhDs? I was really struggling in life and my dissertation grade does not reflect me as a student, I feel like my whole life has been ruined.
TW: Suicide
My university life was a hard one, I had dropped out of my first degree because I was miserable and my friend I know committed suicide that year. So I changed course and university, closer to home so I had less stress to handle.
At first it all went okay, but eventually the group of girls I became friends with began ghosting me, ignoring me in class, starting going out with everyone in the group but me, it hit me quite hard as I never knew what I did wrong, I became so anxious of going in I rarely attended. I did raise this to 3 lecturers, one of them being my course director, and I was in hysterical tears as I told each one.
Despite my attendance I continued to submit the highest graded work, I consistently received 1sts and 2:1s.
Spoiler:
Show
The August before my final year started, I had gone to a party, I drove so I couldnt drive home after drinking, so everyone left except for me and 2 other people. One of the people that stayed killed themselves in the house that night, I had never slept, I couldn't, I wanted to walk around the house out of boredom but I stayed in the spare room, I lived with the guilt of "what if I had just walked around like I wanted to? Could I have stopped them? Could I have called an ambulance before it was too late?" When sunrise happened, forensics teams arrived, I still was unaware as I hadn't left the room.
My mental health took a huge decline then for my final year. My assignments were still well marked, though I wasn't particularly proud of anything I submitted.
My dissertation was dreadful. 3 weeks before it was due my boyfriend of 3 years left me, I found out he cheated on me on our holiday in April. My brain came to a standstill. I couldn't work, I couldn't think, every trauma I had dealt with just hit me, and my dissertation was hit hard. I even forgot the whole section on ethics, so I could have failed it. My dissertation mentor had been fired and my uni never told me, so when I emailed him for help I never got a response.
I got into a masters starting September 2020, and looking ahead I dont know what I can do.
A PhD wants a 2:1 or above and a masters.
I got 2:1s and 1sts my entire degree but my dissertation got 44 and took me to a 2:2 (by about 2 marks off a 2:1).
Can I still apply to PhDs? I was really struggling in life and my dissertation grade does not reflect me as a student, I feel like my whole life has been ruined.
May I ask how your mental health is doing atm? Do you feel resilient enough to cope with the Masters course?

Is a PhD something you'd be genuinely interested in doing/had been planning on doing anyway, or is it because you're worried about auto-filters for some graduate schemes, job-wise? FWIW, I got a 2.2 at undergrad and am in my third year of a PhD course atm. That's despite my grades and that I have ongoing severe mental health issues. I got into my Masters and PhD courses because I was able to prove (via references and submitted written work) that my 2.2 was not reflective of my abilities. One of the referees (my undergrad dissertation supervisor) is a Big Name in my field, which I'm pretty sure helped a lot (in my case at least).
It also helped that I took time out between the Masters and PhD. By the time I applied for the PhD course, I had my Masters results to hand. So even though my undergrad degree was a 2.2 (with 57 for the dissertation), my Masters was a Merit. So still not ideal, but at least I got 68 for that dissertation.
I don't think your whole life is ruined at all, btw. But if you are genuinely interested in a PhD course and find a suitable supervisor to take you on/supervise your project, be aware it's very tough-going and not mental health-friendly

Do you have people willing to provide strong references for you, if you apply for a PhD course? Who gave the references for your Masters?

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Pathway
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#4
I'm truly sorry to hear about what you have been through. If you ever need someone to talk to, you're welcome to message me. I've lost a three important people to suicide as well and I know how much it changes everything. You're not alone.
Regarding carrying on studying, make sure you're doing well mentally and have support structures in place. I can't comment too much because I've not done any post-graduate study (too ill to). The_Lonely_Goatherd has good advice though!
Regarding carrying on studying, make sure you're doing well mentally and have support structures in place. I can't comment too much because I've not done any post-graduate study (too ill to). The_Lonely_Goatherd has good advice though!
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Noodlzzz
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
First of all, I want to say how sorry I am to read of all you've been through. It's a huge amount and it is absolutely not your fault that the combination of all those things affected your dissertation.
May I ask how your mental health is doing atm? Do you feel resilient enough to cope with the Masters course?
Is a PhD something you'd be genuinely interested in doing/had been planning on doing anyway, or is it because you're worried about auto-filters for some graduate schemes, job-wise? FWIW, I got a 2.2 at undergrad and am in my third year of a PhD course atm. That's despite my grades and that I have ongoing severe mental health issues. I got into my Masters and PhD courses because I was able to prove (via references and submitted written work) that my 2.2 was not reflective of my abilities. One of the referees (my undergrad dissertation supervisor) is a Big Name in my field, which I'm pretty sure helped a lot (in my case at least).
It also helped that I took time out between the Masters and PhD. By the time I applied for the PhD course, I had my Masters results to hand. So even though my undergrad degree was a 2.2 (with 57 for the dissertation), my Masters was a Merit. So still not ideal, but at least I got 68 for that dissertation.
I don't think your whole life is ruined at all, btw. But if you are genuinely interested in a PhD course and find a suitable supervisor to take you on/supervise your project, be aware it's very tough-going and not mental health-friendly
Do you have people willing to provide strong references for you, if you apply for a PhD course? Who gave the references for your Masters?
First of all, I want to say how sorry I am to read of all you've been through. It's a huge amount and it is absolutely not your fault that the combination of all those things affected your dissertation.
May I ask how your mental health is doing atm? Do you feel resilient enough to cope with the Masters course?

Is a PhD something you'd be genuinely interested in doing/had been planning on doing anyway, or is it because you're worried about auto-filters for some graduate schemes, job-wise? FWIW, I got a 2.2 at undergrad and am in my third year of a PhD course atm. That's despite my grades and that I have ongoing severe mental health issues. I got into my Masters and PhD courses because I was able to prove (via references and submitted written work) that my 2.2 was not reflective of my abilities. One of the referees (my undergrad dissertation supervisor) is a Big Name in my field, which I'm pretty sure helped a lot (in my case at least).
It also helped that I took time out between the Masters and PhD. By the time I applied for the PhD course, I had my Masters results to hand. So even though my undergrad degree was a 2.2 (with 57 for the dissertation), my Masters was a Merit. So still not ideal, but at least I got 68 for that dissertation.
I don't think your whole life is ruined at all, btw. But if you are genuinely interested in a PhD course and find a suitable supervisor to take you on/supervise your project, be aware it's very tough-going and not mental health-friendly

Do you have people willing to provide strong references for you, if you apply for a PhD course? Who gave the references for your Masters?

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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Can I ask how you got a PhD position with a 2:2? Is there a strategic approach to use to optimise applications working in your favour? Also, were you ever asked about your 2:2?
Can I ask how you got a PhD position with a 2:2? Is there a strategic approach to use to optimise applications working in your favour? Also, were you ever asked about your 2:2?
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