Need to get this off my chest.
* may be a lil graphic (sorry for the hugeness of this para, and thank you if you read it.)
Also a random question at the end
BG
Last year from January-June I was in a relationship with a boy (I’m female and was 15 at the time). Before he had asked me out I liked him for ages so obviously was chuffed when things started up with him. Let me clarify before I start I never slept with him.
Things started off well and he made me happy for a little bit. Around a few weeks in he started being SO clingy and I just dismissed it as normal as it’s a new thing for us..
He literally wouldn’t leave my side and it frustrated me so much I’d come come to 6 missed FaceTime calls a snapchat and iMessage telling me to check snap and ring him etc etc and talking to him had to be before the rest of my life in his eyes,
ISSUE
About a month in he asked me if I wanted to ‘do stuff’ I didn’t really wanna at the time because I felt I wasn’t ready for that stuff but we were sat in my bed and he was like na na you should definitely toss it, (yk) and I was like um ok? I obviously wasn’t into it and he could tell but I carried on (random info we almost got caught)
Then,
Bit after he got obsessed with me doing that **** even if I told him I wasn’t up for it he’d start begging like please please just once I won’t ask again so I was like Er ok.
Bit of time later he asked if he could do stuff to me and I was really against this idea like I wasn’t up for it at all, and after a few weeks of his insistent BEGGING I gave in (obviously not into it) and he you know like fingered me. I let him do it a few times hoping I’d feel some sort of way towards this guy but I’d completely gone off him from the moment he first asked me out if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t know how to end it since I’d never been in the situation before.
Got to the point where if I’d say no he’d do it anyway like he would start putting his hand down my jeans or whatever and I felt really uncomfortable (I didn’t realise that this situation was bad at the time, but it’s hit me in the last few months) and he’d like start doing it whilst I’m telling him to stop and I’d make him stop and he’d start to cry saying He doesn’t deserve me and he’s a bad Person and he would promise to never ever do it again and always ask for my permission.
Not long after I went to his house and the same happened again, I remember him saying exactly that he’s changed his mind and is gonna Do what he wants this time and he carried on like forcing himself onto me and hand up my top, down my pants and all.
This was a repeating cycle and there was a time he got in a HUGE argument with me because I wouldn’t let him buy condoms when we went to the shop because I never wanted to sleep with him and I’m being horrible to him and all sorta apparnelty.
At the time I never had the strength to end it, and I only got the courage to after my mum flagged up how unhappy I was- she obviously never knew the full story.
But I guess the point of this story is was this Guy in the wrong, like I’m pretty sure he was but I don’t know what this would come under? Is it like abuse or something. I’m still recovering from this **** guess am kinda damaged for now lolll.
I have never spoke about it in this much detail I suppose this post is sort of me admitting it to myself to.
Is there a name for this?
Also a random question at the end
BG
Last year from January-June I was in a relationship with a boy (I’m female and was 15 at the time). Before he had asked me out I liked him for ages so obviously was chuffed when things started up with him. Let me clarify before I start I never slept with him.
Things started off well and he made me happy for a little bit. Around a few weeks in he started being SO clingy and I just dismissed it as normal as it’s a new thing for us..
He literally wouldn’t leave my side and it frustrated me so much I’d come come to 6 missed FaceTime calls a snapchat and iMessage telling me to check snap and ring him etc etc and talking to him had to be before the rest of my life in his eyes,
ISSUE
About a month in he asked me if I wanted to ‘do stuff’ I didn’t really wanna at the time because I felt I wasn’t ready for that stuff but we were sat in my bed and he was like na na you should definitely toss it, (yk) and I was like um ok? I obviously wasn’t into it and he could tell but I carried on (random info we almost got caught)
Then,
Bit after he got obsessed with me doing that **** even if I told him I wasn’t up for it he’d start begging like please please just once I won’t ask again so I was like Er ok.
Bit of time later he asked if he could do stuff to me and I was really against this idea like I wasn’t up for it at all, and after a few weeks of his insistent BEGGING I gave in (obviously not into it) and he you know like fingered me. I let him do it a few times hoping I’d feel some sort of way towards this guy but I’d completely gone off him from the moment he first asked me out if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t know how to end it since I’d never been in the situation before.
Got to the point where if I’d say no he’d do it anyway like he would start putting his hand down my jeans or whatever and I felt really uncomfortable (I didn’t realise that this situation was bad at the time, but it’s hit me in the last few months) and he’d like start doing it whilst I’m telling him to stop and I’d make him stop and he’d start to cry saying He doesn’t deserve me and he’s a bad Person and he would promise to never ever do it again and always ask for my permission.
Not long after I went to his house and the same happened again, I remember him saying exactly that he’s changed his mind and is gonna Do what he wants this time and he carried on like forcing himself onto me and hand up my top, down my pants and all.
This was a repeating cycle and there was a time he got in a HUGE argument with me because I wouldn’t let him buy condoms when we went to the shop because I never wanted to sleep with him and I’m being horrible to him and all sorta apparnelty.
At the time I never had the strength to end it, and I only got the courage to after my mum flagged up how unhappy I was- she obviously never knew the full story.
But I guess the point of this story is was this Guy in the wrong, like I’m pretty sure he was but I don’t know what this would come under? Is it like abuse or something. I’m still recovering from this **** guess am kinda damaged for now lolll.
I have never spoke about it in this much detail I suppose this post is sort of me admitting it to myself to.
Is there a name for this?
This guy seems like a total p****. He is 100% in wrong and you should never have to put up with this kind of behaviour.
Original post by da_turbanator
This guy seems like a total p****. He is 100% in wrong and you should never have to put up with this kind of behaviour.
Exactly. You did the right thing. There’s a difference between being clingy and being down right obsessive - he’s clearly the latter. As the saying goes, mother knows best. You did the right thing and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Hopefully he’ll mature in time and you’ll both find the right person in the future
Yes it was wrong. You don’t need a name for what happened. You did the right thing by ending it
Original post by Sammylou40
Yes it was wrong. You don’t need a name for what happened. You did the right thing by ending it
Thank you SO much for reading this all and taking time to post
Original post by Anonymous
Exactly. You did the right thing. There’s a difference between being clingy and being down right obsessive - he’s clearly the latter. As the saying goes, mother knows best. You did the right thing and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Hopefully he’ll mature in time and you’ll both find the right person in the future
Thank you so much for helping out that’s so kind
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