I'm a bad friend

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I have an amazing, lovely, caring supportive friend. She could honestly not be better. I know that she cares deeply about me, and that she relies on me massively. I don't want to hurt her, but I know I'm not the right friend for her. She'll only get hurt if she stays friends with me. At the same time, we are very close, practically best friends. And there's absolutely no way, that i can even start to distance myself, because she will notice. Can someone tell me what they would prefer me to do if you were my friend? I know i sound like a massive jerk.
0
reply
lectergraham
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Why do you feel that you are not the right friend for her? Why do you think that she'll get hurt if she stays friends with you?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
lectergraham I have a tendency to get too easily attached to people. I can slowly see myself getting attached to her, and that's not healthy for either of us. I also think that the relationship is bad for me, since it's very heavily intense, and kind of drains me. I don't want her to have a non-true friend, so it's best if i slowly back away. Trouble is I've made it difficult since we've made so many plans and she thinks we're going to be best friends for eternity. I fully sound like a jerk, and i apologise
0
reply
lectergraham
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
lectergraham I have a tendency to get too easily attached to people. I can slowly see myself getting attached to her, and that's not healthy for either of us. I also think that the relationship is bad for me, since it's very heavily intense, and kind of drains me. I don't want her to have a non-true friend, so it's best if i slowly back away. Trouble is I've made it difficult since we've made so many plans and she thinks we're going to be best friends for eternity. I fully sound like a jerk, and i apologise
You don't sound like a jerk, I promise. Have you thought about telling her how you feel? Perhaps that way she won't mind if you start spending less time together as that way you can still have a relationship just not as intense.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
lectergraham I don't know if i want to tell her how i feel. That would probably scare her away, or make her even more concerned about me than she already is. I know she'll be understanding, but i don't want her to get weirded out. Honestly this friendship isn't good for me, i subconsciously knew it for a while, but stupidly allowed myself to get tangled up in it.
0
reply
lectergraham
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
If the friendship really isn't good for you, then you should just tell her that you need a break for a while or to stop being friends. But if you think she'll be understanding, don't worry whether she'll be weirded out because you need to put yourself first in this situation; what is the best for you and your mental health.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#7
lectergraham I wish i could do that, but she is entwined into my life. I literally see her pretty much everyday, and even if i stopped making an effort on her, she's in my friendship group, so it would make it incredibly awkward.
0
reply
lectergraham
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
In that case I really think you need to explain to her how you feel. I don't really see any other way unless you are happy for the relationship to continue as it is. Or seek out some help from a school counsellor or someone like that. I can try give advice but obviously I don't know you, or your friend or the conversation so I can't give a realistic solution to you. But I really hope you get some help, it seems like this is really playing on your mind.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
lectergraham ok thank you it means a lot that you have spent time trying to help me. I will try and gather my thoughts to explain my situation to her. I wish you all the best with your a levels, and hope life treats you well xx
0
reply
lectergraham
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
lectergraham ok thank you it means a lot that you have spent time trying to help me. I will try and gather my thoughts to explain my situation to her. I wish you all the best with your a levels, and hope life treats you well xx
No problem, and if you ever want advice or someone to talk to you can PM me at anytime :-) I hope all goes well, you deserve it
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#11
lectergraham i'm glad i;ve had a chance to get my feelings out so thank you. As do you, you seem like an incredboly nice person x
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What factors affect your mental health the most right now? (select all that apply)

Lack of purpose or routine (160)
15.55%
Uncertainty around my education (167)
16.23%
Uncertainty around my future career prospects (98)
9.52%
Isolating with family (71)
6.9%
Lack of support system (eg. Teachers, counsellors) (38)
3.69%
Lack of exercise/ability to be outside (90)
8.75%
Loneliness (102)
9.91%
Financial worries (46)
4.47%
Concern about myself or my loved ones getting ill (94)
9.14%
Exposure to negative news/social media (73)
7.09%
Lack of real life entertainment (eg. cinema, gigs, restaurants) (90)
8.75%

Watched Threads

View All