Feeling like you being told to look a certain way

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RealLifeJoker
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Even though no person has told me to my face but for so many years it feels like that they telling me through my head that I have to look a certain way if you want to talk to a girl, have sex with a girl or get a girlfriend.

I'm sick of under a lot of pressure in society because I'm a average joe who doesn't have a quiff haircut, doesn’t have Eurocentric features, doesn’t have pale skin, doesn’t have light colour eyes, doesn't wear overpriced anti-masculine clothes, doesn't use expensive perfume, doesn’t have a manly voice and above all I don’t conform with this Lad culture.
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angelike1
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I hear you bro.
I think a good start would be to hit the gym if you don't already.
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THE_BLACK_CAT
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If your really all the above then your definitely my type. Hahaha don't worry what people think about you . I try not to and I'm not any of the regular "girl type " either. I also don't do what you don't do /like . I personally really like guys who are like you so please don't change yourself . Your still liked/ loved even though it may be the minority . But hey that's ok ! we were all born to be real,not to be the same .
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by angelike1)
I hear you bro.
I think a good start would be to hit the gym if you don't already.
I go gym but improving my physique doesn’t quite fix the issue
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ساره
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A lot of people including myself feel the pressure to look perfect in general. Self love is so crucial
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by THE_BLACK_CAT)
If your really all the above then your definitely my type. Hahaha don't worry what people think about you . I try not to and I'm not any of the regular "girl type " either. I also don't do what you don't do /like . I personally really like guys who are like you so please don't change yourself . Your still liked/ loved even though it may be the minority . But hey that's ok ! we were all born to be real,not to be the same .
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I don’t want to change but it feels like I have to. Most British girls for guys that look like him, you know a bit of ‘lad’ or a ‘cheeky chappy.
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THE_BLACK_CAT
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(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
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I don’t want to change but it feels like I have to. Most British girls for guys that look like him, you know a bit of ‘lad’ or a ‘cheeky chappy.
Yeah don't worry about it I really don't like these type of guys . Nowadays I feel that guys are all going for this . They're all now looking a bit .. manufactured? Like "oh this is how an "attractive" guy should look " No! I really don't think so . There isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to be attractive. Like my I'm sure there are many other girls who go for the other type of men ( like you ! ) Guys who are honest and real about what's human .
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by THE_BLACK_CAT)
Yeah don't worry about it I really don't like these type of guys . Nowadays I feel that guys are all going for this . They're all now looking a bit .. manufactured? Like "oh this is how an "attractive" guy should look " No! I really don't think so . There isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to be attractive. Like my I'm sure there are many other girls who go for the other type of men ( like you ! ) Guys who are honest and real about what's human .
I know it’s rude to ask a woman’s age but how old are you?

Even if I didn’t have dark skin, bushy hair and non Caucasian facial features I still wouldn’t want to for that look. There’s always talks about women being self-conscious about the body size and make up, but they fail to mention about your. men being under about having to not look just look a certain way to get girls but also having to have overly confident macho personalities. I’m very shy introverted awkward individual but full of quirks which girls don’t seem to take notice of.
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THE_BLACK_CAT
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(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
I know it’s rude to ask a woman’s age but how old are you?

Even if I didn’t have dark skin, bushy hair and non Caucasian facial features I still wouldn’t want to for that look. There’s always talks about women being self-conscious about the body size and make up, but they fail to mention about your. men being under about having to not look just look a certain way to get girls but also having to have overly confident macho personalities. I’m very shy introverted awkward individual but full of quirks which girls don’t seem to take notice of.
Hahaha it's fine . I wouldn't say I'm a woman yet, I'm an older teenager ( 16-19) take your pick!

I feel the same .when I look at other girls with makeup and all talks about beauty and hair I don't want to be any part of that . I also don't look anything like the "ideal girl" and definitely don't want to ( just like you ) I'm also not "white " I'm tan , person on colour like you and I have short hair . But I'm happy with it ! It's who I am . Compared to other girls I feel unique in a precious way . I don't have to do makeup too feel confident , good enough or "presentable" .( In fact any makeup has never touched my face ) I go out with a smile even if my face has hundreds of not XD pimples or not because that's who I am . I am human .

It's true woman are really self conscious about their body type and weigh. It's really upsetting . personally I couldn't care less if I have a small buttock or small chest .because it's how I am . It's what God intended me to be like and im happy with anything I have . I'm just grateful that I'm alot better than most people who perhaps don't even have one . As for weight I agree that one should be slightly conscious of it , but not for beauty sales but rather for heath

You don't have to be a confident macho guy to get people (or girls) to like you . I personally really don't like those type of guys anyway . I'm sure there are other girls who can say the same. I actually prefer guys who are shy and Introverted ( like me ) we tend to be quieter , more humble and kind I tend to find. More understand of people and their feelings
And it's absolutely ok to feel awkward! I AM TOO ! many people don't tend to understand me so what I say tends to be a bit..humm weird? But it's really fine . It just means that we see things differently , uniquely
And oh yes I love guys who are full of quirks like me personally if your an Introvert I'm actually more likely to want to get to know you and so I would probably notice your nice little quirks

We are very alike don't you think
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by THE_BLACK_CAT)
Hahaha it's fine . I wouldn't say I'm a woman yet, I'm an older teenager ( 16-19) take your pick!

I feel the same .when I look at other girls with makeup and all talks about beauty and hair I don't want to be any part of that . I also don't look anything like the "ideal girl" and definitely don't want to ( just like you ) I'm also not "white " I'm tan , person on colour like you and I have short hair . But I'm happy with it ! It's who I am . Compared to other girls I feel unique in a precious way . I don't have to do makeup too feel confident , good enough or "presentable" .( In fact any makeup has never touched my face ) I go out with a smile even if my face has hundreds of not XD pimples or not because that's who I am . I am human .

It's true woman are really self conscious about their body type and weigh. It's really upsetting . personally I couldn't care less if I have a small buttock or small chest .because it's how I am . It's what God intended me to be like and im happy with anything I have . I'm just grateful that I'm alot better than most people who perhaps don't even have one . As for weight I agree that one should be slightly conscious of it , but not for beauty sales but rather for heath

You don't have to be a confident macho guy to get people (or girls) to like you . I personally really don't like those type of guys anyway . I'm sure there are other girls who can say the same. I actually prefer guys who are shy and Introverted ( like me ) we tend to be quieter , more humble and kind I tend to find. More understand of people and their feelings
And it's absolutely ok to feel awkward! I AM TOO ! many people don't tend to understand me so what I say tends to be a bit..humm weird? But it's really fine . It just means that we see things differently , uniquely
And oh yes I love guys who are full of quirks like me personally if your an Introvert I'm actually more likely to want to get to know you and so I would probably notice your nice little quirks

We are very alike don't you think
I’d say you was born in 2002, just a wild guess.

There’s clearly nothing wrong with wanting to look good and presentable. I like to look like how I want to look, not feel like I have dress a certain way or have a certain haircut so I could get the girls. Most of the lads have the same ass haircuts, wear designer tops, designer watches, skinny jeans/trackers rolled up their ankles, designer trainers. I describe my dress sense as smart casual/alternative (not over the top).

It’s normal for both men and women to self-conscious. If we don’t like anything about ourselves then we can change it, whatever make us happy. If you’re happy the way you, then be happy the way you are.

I don’t want to be macho guy, I want to be more confident within myself however I just can’t take the whole “girls like a man with confidence” because everyone has their own perceptions of what confidence means. When I hear a girl saying it, I just can’t help belting they just want a ****boy lad like Jack or Declan. I’m very opened to socialise and meet new people but I also love the peace and quiet. I always keep myself to myself, never start trouble on anyone. When I’m going through awkward phrases I tend to stutter or say something of stupidest things unintentional. The fact is introverts tend to be the most positive and most loyal people to be around with. I’m not trying to expect a woman to have sex with me (despite still begin a virgin) or even ask me out but it would be nice if I had regular chats with different girls like on a park bench or bus stop.

Yeah, I notice that you’re very friendly because of the amount of smiley faces. I just can’t stand the basic girls that give you blunt replies don’t even use emojis when talking to you.
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sas.kiwi
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Tbh everyone has this pressure of conforming and suiting a certain stereotype and not being able to be different, but its variations and stuff that make people interesting and with guys their appearance only matters in telling if they take care of themselves or not, not about if they have the in-fashion clothes or hairstyles, but really personalities is the main thing in getting you meaningful relationships. I think most sensible kinda people wouldn't date really stereotypically attractive people if they have crap personalities. Annnnd some of us can't stand certain characteristics in each other... like really muscly guys to me are just not attractive but there are people who disagree and its really about whether getting those bodybuilder bodies is making someone feel better about themselves then my opinion on them doesn't matter whatsoever.
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sas.kiwi
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alsoooo being an introvert is fine and being an extrovert is fine, it matters whether you can have fun or meaningful conversations. I know this guy who is very extroverted but just doesn't listen to people so he gets girlfriends because he seems really nice and bubbly at first then can't keep them because his actually important one on one social skills are bad. Sorry now i'm just venting XD.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
Even though no person has told me to my face but for so many years it feels like that they telling me through my head that I have to look a certain way if you want to talk to a girl, have sex with a girl or get a girlfriend.
uhh welcome to the world of women! where men will openly tell you on a daily basis that men HAVE TO be attracted to you because they judge women on their appearances first and foremost. why do you think the make up industry is making billions? i hate wearing make up but every guy i dated always hated it when i didn't wear make up.
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by Anonymous)
uhh welcome to the world of women! where men will openly tell you on a daily basis that men HAVE TO be attracted to you because they judge women on their appearances first and foremost. why do you think the make up industry is making billions? i hate wearing make up but every guy i dated always hated it when i didn't wear make up.
I like makeup but I also like no makeup.
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sas.kiwi
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(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
I like makeup but I also like no makeup.
Shouldn't you just like them and not care about makeup and just support whatever they wanna wear if it makes them feel better?
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Drewski
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You have an unhealthy fixation.

You have confirmation bias.

You don't use your eyes or your head.

And you constantly make out like the world is out to get you.

You're getting boring now
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by Drewski)
You have an unhealthy fixation.

You have confirmation bias.

You don't use your eyes or your head.

And you constantly make out like the world is out to get you.

You're getting boring now
Then why don’t you just add me to your ignore list? Problem solved.
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redleader1
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Yes this is 100% what society and the media has made people out to be like. You need to be some sort of plastic doll to get attention people have forgotten about personalities thats why they say looks matter at first sight ! Everyone is following all these so called airbrushed stars on instagram and are dying to be like them. Even the normal working person is spending £1000's on cosmetic surgery wow.

End of the day if you are comfortable and confident in your self then F*** everyone else lol
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MidgetFever
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Have you ever actually asked a girl what they prefer? Because I think you'll find quite a wide variation.
Not all girls like the kind of guy you pictured above, myself included.
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RealLifeJoker
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(Original post by MidgetFever)
Have you ever actually asked a girl what they prefer? Because I think you'll find quite a wide variation.
Not all girls like the kind of guy you pictured above, myself included.
No, but I have a significant insight based on the guys I saw them with in the past, their current partners, reality tv and busy shopping centres. Each girl has the individual tastes but it feels that at least 90 sometime percent of them go for these type of guys
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