Almost at end of second year uni no friends, is it too late to make friends now?
I’m almost at the end of my second year of uni and due to my social anxiety I haven’t made any friends. Social anxiety is more than just shyness, it’s an irrational phobia of talking to other people or being judged in social situations.
I was very lonely in my first year and at the beginning of second year I said I was going to make changes, I joined two societies online but was too scared to go to any of the meetings and it’s now into March and there are only three weeks left of teaching. I’ve been so lonely that a few weeks ago I had a nervous breakdown and since then I’ve been suffering from bad depression, I haven’t eaten or slept well and have avoided my classes. I’m seeing a therapist and I’m telling him about my depression tomorrow. I developed a belief that all girls hated me since most girls looked very serious or stern when they seen me then I’d see girls smiling and laughing talking to their boyfriends and it hurt so so much, I just wish I had the confidence to talk to girls. The belief that girls hate me stemmed from the fact I was hurt that I got no attention from girls since I have zero friends here male or female. It hurts so much seeing people my age with their friends and couples because I want that so so so bad but my social anxiety has prevented me from going places to meet people and since the depression it has been much much worse I feel really sad and tearful all the time and feel nobody cares about me because nobody knows me here.
I am frustrated with myself for not putting in more of an effort I chose to dwell and be sad about having no friends instead of pushing myself to join societies like I planned to in September then I postponed it to January now it’s March and my mental health is worse than ever. I just feel so much regret that half of my experience at uni has been wasted and I feel scared at the thought of any more wasted time here. I could have made so much friends here and got a girlfriend these last two years instead I’ve been locked in my room sad and hurt that everyone else has friends and I don’t.
I planned to set targets to talk to people, to people sitting near me in lectures 5 minutes before class starts, to join societies and make an effort to talk to people there and even go to the library late at night when it’s pretty empty and talk to a girl there to improve my confidence with talking to girls. The depression has been a huge huge setback. I’m really hoping if I push myself to go to class next week and maybe later in the week talk to people sitting near me even if it’s as little as asking for a pen. I planned to join a kayaking society im now postponing that to September but aim to join some less important societies in the next few weeks. Spring break is first three weeks in April and I know a lot of students stay at uni especially international students and I really hope they run some society events then, if all society events stop in spring break then I’m ****ed as going for two weeks obviously won’t make me any friends and I want at least a few friends before uni finishes for summer. I know I’ll have to live with strangers again this year, had I made friends in first year I’d be living with people who I connect with and could talk to there are so many people at my uni I could be great friends with but haven’t met, same goes for so many girls I could have a potential relationship with. I’m stuck in a flat with 5 stranger girls who I have nothing in common with who I’ve not spoken to beyond saying hi in passing. All they do is complain about the kitchen and argue among themselves im dreading staying with strangers next year but I know it’s way too late to make friends and try and live with a friend I make or their group.
There are three weeks left of teaching, is it too late to make friends at my uni. My social anxiety and as of late my depression are huge obstacles but I’m going to put in a massive effort to overcome it even though it will be very difficult, my biggest worry is have I left it too late? Is it possible for me to make a friend or two in second year before the year finishes?
I was very lonely in my first year and at the beginning of second year I said I was going to make changes, I joined two societies online but was too scared to go to any of the meetings and it’s now into March and there are only three weeks left of teaching. I’ve been so lonely that a few weeks ago I had a nervous breakdown and since then I’ve been suffering from bad depression, I haven’t eaten or slept well and have avoided my classes. I’m seeing a therapist and I’m telling him about my depression tomorrow. I developed a belief that all girls hated me since most girls looked very serious or stern when they seen me then I’d see girls smiling and laughing talking to their boyfriends and it hurt so so much, I just wish I had the confidence to talk to girls. The belief that girls hate me stemmed from the fact I was hurt that I got no attention from girls since I have zero friends here male or female. It hurts so much seeing people my age with their friends and couples because I want that so so so bad but my social anxiety has prevented me from going places to meet people and since the depression it has been much much worse I feel really sad and tearful all the time and feel nobody cares about me because nobody knows me here.
I am frustrated with myself for not putting in more of an effort I chose to dwell and be sad about having no friends instead of pushing myself to join societies like I planned to in September then I postponed it to January now it’s March and my mental health is worse than ever. I just feel so much regret that half of my experience at uni has been wasted and I feel scared at the thought of any more wasted time here. I could have made so much friends here and got a girlfriend these last two years instead I’ve been locked in my room sad and hurt that everyone else has friends and I don’t.
I planned to set targets to talk to people, to people sitting near me in lectures 5 minutes before class starts, to join societies and make an effort to talk to people there and even go to the library late at night when it’s pretty empty and talk to a girl there to improve my confidence with talking to girls. The depression has been a huge huge setback. I’m really hoping if I push myself to go to class next week and maybe later in the week talk to people sitting near me even if it’s as little as asking for a pen. I planned to join a kayaking society im now postponing that to September but aim to join some less important societies in the next few weeks. Spring break is first three weeks in April and I know a lot of students stay at uni especially international students and I really hope they run some society events then, if all society events stop in spring break then I’m ****ed as going for two weeks obviously won’t make me any friends and I want at least a few friends before uni finishes for summer. I know I’ll have to live with strangers again this year, had I made friends in first year I’d be living with people who I connect with and could talk to there are so many people at my uni I could be great friends with but haven’t met, same goes for so many girls I could have a potential relationship with. I’m stuck in a flat with 5 stranger girls who I have nothing in common with who I’ve not spoken to beyond saying hi in passing. All they do is complain about the kitchen and argue among themselves im dreading staying with strangers next year but I know it’s way too late to make friends and try and live with a friend I make or their group.
There are three weeks left of teaching, is it too late to make friends at my uni. My social anxiety and as of late my depression are huge obstacles but I’m going to put in a massive effort to overcome it even though it will be very difficult, my biggest worry is have I left it too late? Is it possible for me to make a friend or two in second year before the year finishes?
Take this with a grain of salt because I’m still in sixth form but I can 100% assure you that it is never too late to make friends. I understand you in the social anxiety and depression front because I experienced it so badly I couldn’t go to school for months and now I’ve got so much better!! The first thing is that it will definitely get better as much as it may not feel like it. I think the first step is starting off small, talk to someone who sits next to you or near you before your lectures even if it’s just asking them how they’re day went or if you speak to them afterwards ask them their opinion on the lecture and give them yours (always start small because when you really want something we can give ourselves unrealistic ways of trying to achieve that). The second thing I’d say is try (I know it’s hard) to go to a society but make sure you go to one where it’s based on something you really enjoy or are passionate about because it’s easier to engage with others when you have common interests as you can talk about that. The third thing I’d say is with the relationship thing ..it might not be the best that you feel like people around you are in good relationships and it’s uni and it’s nice to talk to girls and everything but I think it’s more important to prioritise yourself and your mental health ..again start small. You definitely need to try and make new friends to boost your confidence and it will make the relationship front much easier. I’m sure you’re an amazing person and I completely understand what you’re going through and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone but I have so much faith that you will be successful on all fronts by the time you leave university. Also try your best to have a positive mindset tell yourself that “today I’m going to make new friends” say it so much to the point where you believe it and it will happen because focusing on the negative will make you avoid trying. Good luck!!! I have faith in you x
Reply 2
Hey, I’ve just found your post because I was trying to find people who are in the same boat as me because I’m really struggling a lot with this too. I’m in first year uni and unfortunately I’ve been to afraid to sign up for societies and even talk to people in my seminars and I just feel so left out. I’m fed up and just want to have friends just like everyone else. But one thing I can say is, don’t be disappointed in the amount of effort you put in because we can only push ourselves so much.. it’s hard to make friends it really is. We constantly feel judged so it’s really hard. But I hope In your final year you’re able to overcome this and find some sort of happiness and find friends. I believe in you so much!
Reply 3
Hiii.
I can relate to your post ((to some extent)) I don't have social anxiety though.
I know how it feels; miserable and depressing having no friends.
It's so lonely and boring. Whew. Just waiting for this experience to be over with.
I'm bound to make friends in other areas.
I have been one of the unlucky people at uni...
I'm also in second year, and can't wait to graduate.
There is hope. As hard as it may sound but keep trying. Continue talking to people (those in the queue in the canteen or those sitting next to you in the library).
Just concentrate on your degree and along the way you'll probably attract people or find people to click with.
There is hope. I keep telling myself this.
But keep trying.
Good luck.
I can relate to your post ((to some extent)) I don't have social anxiety though.
I know how it feels; miserable and depressing having no friends.
It's so lonely and boring. Whew. Just waiting for this experience to be over with.
I'm bound to make friends in other areas.
I have been one of the unlucky people at uni...
I'm also in second year, and can't wait to graduate.
There is hope. As hard as it may sound but keep trying. Continue talking to people (those in the queue in the canteen or those sitting next to you in the library).
Just concentrate on your degree and along the way you'll probably attract people or find people to click with.
There is hope. I keep telling myself this.
But keep trying.
Good luck.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I’m almost at the end of my second year of uni and due to my social anxiety I haven’t made any friends. Social anxiety is more than just shyness, it’s an irrational phobia of talking to other people or being judged in social situations.
I was very lonely in my first year and at the beginning of second year I said I was going to make changes, I joined two societies online but was too scared to go to any of the meetings and it’s now into March and there are only three weeks left of teaching. I’ve been so lonely that a few weeks ago I had a nervous breakdown and since then I’ve been suffering from bad depression, I haven’t eaten or slept well and have avoided my classes. I’m seeing a therapist and I’m telling him about my depression tomorrow. I developed a belief that all girls hated me since most girls looked very serious or stern when they seen me then I’d see girls smiling and laughing talking to their boyfriends and it hurt so so much, I just wish I had the confidence to talk to girls. The belief that girls hate me stemmed from the fact I was hurt that I got no attention from girls since I have zero friends here male or female. It hurts so much seeing people my age with their friends and couples because I want that so so so bad but my social anxiety has prevented me from going places to meet people and since the depression it has been much much worse I feel really sad and tearful all the time and feel nobody cares about me because nobody knows me here.
I am frustrated with myself for not putting in more of an effort I chose to dwell and be sad about having no friends instead of pushing myself to join societies like I planned to in September then I postponed it to January now it’s March and my mental health is worse than ever. I just feel so much regret that half of my experience at uni has been wasted and I feel scared at the thought of any more wasted time here. I could have made so much friends here and got a girlfriend these last two years instead I’ve been locked in my room sad and hurt that everyone else has friends and I don’t.
I planned to set targets to talk to people, to people sitting near me in lectures 5 minutes before class starts, to join societies and make an effort to talk to people there and even go to the library late at night when it’s pretty empty and talk to a girl there to improve my confidence with talking to girls. The depression has been a huge huge setback. I’m really hoping if I push myself to go to class next week and maybe later in the week talk to people sitting near me even if it’s as little as asking for a pen. I planned to join a kayaking society im now postponing that to September but aim to join some less important societies in the next few weeks. Spring break is first three weeks in April and I know a lot of students stay at uni especially international students and I really hope they run some society events then, if all society events stop in spring break then I’m ****ed as going for two weeks obviously won’t make me any friends and I want at least a few friends before uni finishes for summer. I know I’ll have to live with strangers again this year, had I made friends in first year I’d be living with people who I connect with and could talk to there are so many people at my uni I could be great friends with but haven’t met, same goes for so many girls I could have a potential relationship with. I’m stuck in a flat with 5 stranger girls who I have nothing in common with who I’ve not spoken to beyond saying hi in passing. All they do is complain about the kitchen and argue among themselves im dreading staying with strangers next year but I know it’s way too late to make friends and try and live with a friend I make or their group.
There are three weeks left of teaching, is it too late to make friends at my uni. My social anxiety and as of late my depression are huge obstacles but I’m going to put in a massive effort to overcome it even though it will be very difficult, my biggest worry is have I left it too late? Is it possible for me to make a friend or two in second year before the year finishes?
I was very lonely in my first year and at the beginning of second year I said I was going to make changes, I joined two societies online but was too scared to go to any of the meetings and it’s now into March and there are only three weeks left of teaching. I’ve been so lonely that a few weeks ago I had a nervous breakdown and since then I’ve been suffering from bad depression, I haven’t eaten or slept well and have avoided my classes. I’m seeing a therapist and I’m telling him about my depression tomorrow. I developed a belief that all girls hated me since most girls looked very serious or stern when they seen me then I’d see girls smiling and laughing talking to their boyfriends and it hurt so so much, I just wish I had the confidence to talk to girls. The belief that girls hate me stemmed from the fact I was hurt that I got no attention from girls since I have zero friends here male or female. It hurts so much seeing people my age with their friends and couples because I want that so so so bad but my social anxiety has prevented me from going places to meet people and since the depression it has been much much worse I feel really sad and tearful all the time and feel nobody cares about me because nobody knows me here.
I am frustrated with myself for not putting in more of an effort I chose to dwell and be sad about having no friends instead of pushing myself to join societies like I planned to in September then I postponed it to January now it’s March and my mental health is worse than ever. I just feel so much regret that half of my experience at uni has been wasted and I feel scared at the thought of any more wasted time here. I could have made so much friends here and got a girlfriend these last two years instead I’ve been locked in my room sad and hurt that everyone else has friends and I don’t.
I planned to set targets to talk to people, to people sitting near me in lectures 5 minutes before class starts, to join societies and make an effort to talk to people there and even go to the library late at night when it’s pretty empty and talk to a girl there to improve my confidence with talking to girls. The depression has been a huge huge setback. I’m really hoping if I push myself to go to class next week and maybe later in the week talk to people sitting near me even if it’s as little as asking for a pen. I planned to join a kayaking society im now postponing that to September but aim to join some less important societies in the next few weeks. Spring break is first three weeks in April and I know a lot of students stay at uni especially international students and I really hope they run some society events then, if all society events stop in spring break then I’m ****ed as going for two weeks obviously won’t make me any friends and I want at least a few friends before uni finishes for summer. I know I’ll have to live with strangers again this year, had I made friends in first year I’d be living with people who I connect with and could talk to there are so many people at my uni I could be great friends with but haven’t met, same goes for so many girls I could have a potential relationship with. I’m stuck in a flat with 5 stranger girls who I have nothing in common with who I’ve not spoken to beyond saying hi in passing. All they do is complain about the kitchen and argue among themselves im dreading staying with strangers next year but I know it’s way too late to make friends and try and live with a friend I make or their group.
There are three weeks left of teaching, is it too late to make friends at my uni. My social anxiety and as of late my depression are huge obstacles but I’m going to put in a massive effort to overcome it even though it will be very difficult, my biggest worry is have I left it too late? Is it possible for me to make a friend or two in second year before the year finishes?
Hi, are you still around here? My daughter is experiencing the exact same problems you were having. I would love to hear from you and how everything worked out please. X
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Hiii.
I can relate to your post ((to some extent)) I don't have social anxiety though.
I know how it feels; miserable and depressing having no friends.
It's so lonely and boring. Whew. Just waiting for this experience to be over with.
I'm bound to make friends in other areas.
I have been one of the unlucky people at uni...
I'm also in second year, and can't wait to graduate.
There is hope. As hard as it may sound but keep trying. Continue talking to people (those in the queue in the canteen or those sitting next to you in the library).
Just concentrate on your degree and along the way you'll probably attract people or find people to click with.
There is hope. I keep telling myself this.
But keep trying.
Good luck.
I can relate to your post ((to some extent)) I don't have social anxiety though.
I know how it feels; miserable and depressing having no friends.
It's so lonely and boring. Whew. Just waiting for this experience to be over with.
I'm bound to make friends in other areas.
I have been one of the unlucky people at uni...
I'm also in second year, and can't wait to graduate.
There is hope. As hard as it may sound but keep trying. Continue talking to people (those in the queue in the canteen or those sitting next to you in the library).
Just concentrate on your degree and along the way you'll probably attract people or find people to click with.
There is hope. I keep telling myself this.
But keep trying.
Good luck.
So I’m responding to this point 5 years later.
What’s changed?
1) I graduated uni with a 2.1 BA hons degree
2) I have a full time job
3) I have some friends
Best thing for me was to just focus on my career goals and understand that you will meet people in many ways.
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