I get extremely uncomfortable when someone gets to close me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I have this friend, and she is quite close to me and I mean we take the bus to school, we are in the same class, we come back home together, cause she lives close to me. We recently became friends (5 months ago) And I started to get frustrated because I've always been independent and I can talk to people but I do not like them being to close to me. I'm frustrated because i want space. So because it came to a point were I will not talk to her and I will make excuses saying "I have extra work to do" to avoid going home with her and she asked me if I was mad at her and I told her no and I explained to her the reason and she understood.
But the problem is that now I cant even look her in the eye and I cant even speak to. Even if I tried, I get this fury feeling at the pit of my stomach. Now I'm even more uncomfortable. This has happen before to my previous friend. Because of this we dont talk anymore and I didnt explaining anything to her. But I feel like am hurting her because she isn't sociable and she only knows me as a friend
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Anonymous #2
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Report 3 months ago
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Communicate! By whatever means communicate. Until each of you understands the other's perspective this will end in tears (and repeat patterns). You seem to have identified your balance of sociability and space, your friend's balance is evidently different. Neither of you is wrong, but until you both clearly understand the mis-match there can be no happy resolution.
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bayhouse1345
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#3
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tell her shell understand if she is a true best freind
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Chocolatecakexx
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#4
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yeah i agree like i love my friends but sometimes i need SPACE from humanity nu'un personal but...
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leopard202
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#5
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Do you have intimacy anxiety maybe?

Is this physical or more uncomfortable about getting too close to someone's life or home?

Or simple not getting enough alone time?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have this friend, and she is quite close to me and I mean we take the bus to school, we are in the same class, we come back home together, cause she lives close to me. We recently became friends (5 months ago) And I started to get frustrated because I've always been independent and I can talk to people but I do not like them being to close to me. I'm frustrated because i want space. So because it came to a point were I will not talk to her and I will make excuses saying "I have extra work to do" to avoid going home with her and she asked me if I was mad at her and I told her no and I explained to her the reason and she understood.
But the problem is that now I cant even look her in the eye and I cant even speak to. Even if I tried, I get this fury feeling at the pit of my stomach. Now I'm even more uncomfortable. This has happen before to my previous friend. Because of this we dont talk anymore and I didnt explaining anything to her. But I feel like am hurting her because she isn't sociable and she only knows me as a friend
I am really similar and I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Do you think you have trust issues or fear of abandonment? These things are fixable.
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