Work and self making me depressedWatch
I have had to take stress leave off work and had a stress risk assessment done for me because of my workload and the lack of other colleagues being consistently in work to support me. I cry pretty much every day because of work. I am predicted to finish my qualification in July but they're not sure yet. Work is palmed off to me and I am pressured to pick up every phone when someone is not at their desk. I have an unrealistic workload, and my colleagues are not supportive. They do not ask me about my workload before assigning me urgent and important tasks.
I am unsure how much of my unhappiness and exhaustion comes from work and how much is from my personal depression. I have felt unhappy for a number of years due to my personal circumstances (trauma) and it's hard to tell the difference between work-related sadness and personal sadness anymore.
I have only been in my apprenticeship for 6 months but I feel deeply miserable and exhausted by the prospect of staying any longer than June-July at this rate. I don't even care about the money or experience at this rate because I feel so miserable. Yesterday I woke up and just cried
It's hard to reach out to anybody because of waiting lists for my GP, and that I would need an early appointment to talk about anything, as my work policy is that all appointments need to be as early or as late in the day as possible, and I live approximately an hour and twenty minutes away from my workplace as it is.
Lots of little things stress me out and my colleagues make the work environment very negative. It is only a small team, and not everyone is ever in at one time due to personal circumstance. Everybody always talks about how much they hate their job and the institution and it makes me so sad.
I have been assigned a mentor to talk to, but she works quite a distance from me which is generally not very helpful. There are not many transport links between the workplaces, and I am not old enough to drive.
Sorry for all this but I just needed to talk about it somewhere. If anyone has had any similar experiences please feel free to talk to me about it
If you do not like your apprenticeship, you could leave it and start another or something else in september?
You can call the samiritans on 116 123.
If you feel the need to talk, feel free to PM me.