Hey please help me with this question. Thank you

Watch this thread
SF2
Badges: 10
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Hey, iv just finished an exam question for Eduqas English language. It was a review question on a book. What grade would I get for this:
A Christmas You’ll never forget!
Are you feeling festive yet? If not, you soon will be. A Christmas Carol is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Let me get straight to the point: you need to go and read this brilliant book today!
Ebenezer Scrooge isn’t someone you’ll like to come across with. His selfish ways has an effect on a lot of people, so it’s up to the ghosts to try and transform Scrooge. Is it possible for Scrooge to change? I won’t tell you but I’m sure you’ll soon find out.
Best Bits!
Firstly, Charles Dickens is an incredible author. His book is sympathetic exciting and understanding as Dickens portrays his opinions of society within this breathtaking book. It is well known that Charles Dickens is one of England’s best ever writers with of the books like Oliver twist and David Copperfield but a Christmas Carol is definitely his best book and will certainly be a best seller! Secondly, the way the story was told was impeccable. Have you ever finish to book it with him one day? You will! When I read the first stave, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. 99% of the people that have read this book claim it as their favourite. After finishing this book my opinions have changed and I have started to help as much as possible.
Boring Bit!
Although I adored the book, One minor downfall was that it was too short. The ending was the best I had ever seen but Dickens could’ve added a couple more pages because I didn’t want it to end.
However, overall the book Was outstanding and I will definitely be reading it again. The books story, characters and language makes it one of the best ever books.

Thank you. Xx
0
reply
NimitMistry13
Badges: 11
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
(Original post by SF2)
Hey, iv just finished an exam question for Eduqas English language. It was a review question on a book. What grade would I get for this:
A Christmas You’ll never forget!
Are you feeling festive yet? If not, you soon will be. A Christmas Carol is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Let me get straight to the point: you need to go and read this brilliant book today!
Ebenezer Scrooge isn’t someone you’ll like to come across with. His selfish ways has an effect on a lot of people, so it’s up to the ghosts to try and transform Scrooge. Is it possible for Scrooge to change? I won’t tell you but I’m sure you’ll soon find out.
Best Bits!
Firstly, Charles Dickens is an incredible author. His book is sympathetic exciting and understanding as Dickens portrays his opinions of society within this breathtaking book. It is well known that Charles Dickens is one of England’s best ever writers with of the books like Oliver twist and David Copperfield but a Christmas Carol is definitely his best book and will certainly be a best seller! Secondly, the way the story was told was impeccable. Have you ever finish to book it with him one day? You will! When I read the first stave, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. 99% of the people that have read this book claim it as their favourite. After finishing this book my opinions have changed and I have started to help as much as possible.
Boring Bit!
Although I adored the book, One minor downfall was that it was too short. The ending was the best I had ever seen but Dickens could’ve added a couple more pages because I didn’t want it to end.
However, overall the book Was outstanding and I will definitely be reading it again. The books story, characters and language makes it one of the best ever books.

Thank you. Xx
all i'd say is to try and reduce the use of 'best', and also try and develop your use of sentences. As a book review, you did keep it brief whilst selling the plot as well - which is really good. But there seemed to be a few things that weren't wrong, but can be improved . There was a cliche about not liking the book which was too short, that could be replaced by an elaborated opinion (e.g. 'although I turned every page with delight, some chapters were just too short for my liking, like when Scrooge proceeds to reflect on his past mistakes, which my classmates agreed with'). You stated that Dickens portrays his opinions on society, which shows you know of Dickens' intentions, but personally I think there could be more context-specific details: Victorian society, upper class, lower class, details of Dickens' childhood, workhouses, poverty, capitalism etc.
There was a good use of discourse markers like 'although', 'however', 'overall', 'firstly'. But some of the uses were a bit confused, for example "however, overall" can just be replaced with "overall"
I don't do Eduqas English language so if anyone could provide an estimate of a grade, it would be appreciated. As I scanned the text, these were most the things I found, they're quite minor mistakes and reviews are meant to be semi-informal depending on the audience, so I wouldn't fret much now

Nimit : D
0
reply
squeakysquirrel
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
(Original post by SF2)
Hey, iv just finished an exam question for Eduqas English language. It was a review question on a book. What grade would I get for this:
A Christmas You’ll never forget!
Are you feeling festive yet? If not, you soon will be. A Christmas Carol is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Let me get straight to the point: you need to go and read this brilliant book today!
Ebenezer Scrooge isn’t someone you’ll like to come across with. His selfish ways has an effect on a lot of people, so it’s up to the ghosts to try and transform Scrooge. Is it possible for Scrooge to change? I won’t tell you but I’m sure you’ll soon find out.
Best Bits!
Firstly, Charles Dickens is an incredible author. His book is sympathetic exciting and understanding as Dickens portrays his opinions of society within this breathtaking book. It is well known that Charles Dickens is one of England’s best ever writers with of the books like Oliver twist and David Copperfield but a Christmas Carol is definitely his best book and will certainly be a best seller! Secondly, the way the story was told was impeccable. Have you ever finish to book it with him one day? You will! When I read the first stave, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. 99% of the people that have read this book claim it as their favourite. After finishing this book my opinions have changed and I have started to help as much as possible.
Boring Bit!
Although I adored the book, One minor downfall was that it was too short. The ending was the best I had ever seen but Dickens could’ve added a couple more pages because I didn’t want it to end.
However, overall the book Was outstanding and I will definitely be reading it again. The books story, characters and language makes it one of the best ever books.

Thank you. Xx
Jesus - are you submitting this as a review - the Christmas Carol was a story about greed and poverty - you have reduced it to a shadow of its worth. Best seller, favourite, added more pages..... also so grammatically clunking.
0
reply
SF2
Badges: 10
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#4
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#4
(Original post by NimitMistry13)
all i'd say is to try and reduce the use of 'best', and also try and develop your use of sentences. As a book review, you did keep it brief whilst selling the plot as well - which is really good. But there seemed to be a few things that weren't wrong, but can be improved . There was a cliche about not liking the book which was too short, that could be replaced by an elaborated opinion (e.g. 'although I turned every page with delight, some chapters were just too short for my liking, like when Scrooge proceeds to reflect on his past mistakes, which my classmates agreed with'). You stated that Dickens portrays his opinions on society, which shows you know of Dickens' intentions, but personally I think there could be more context-specific details: Victorian society, upper class, lower class, details of Dickens' childhood, workhouses, poverty, capitalism etc.
There was a good use of discourse markers like 'although', 'however', 'overall', 'firstly'. But some of the uses were a bit confused, for example "however, overall" can just be replaced with "overall"
I don't do Eduqas English language so if anyone could provide an estimate of a grade, it would be appreciated. As I scanned the text, these were most the things I found, they're quite minor mistakes and reviews are meant to be semi-informal depending on the audience, so I wouldn't fret much now

Nimit : D
Thank you for your feedback I really appreciate it and will definitely try to use it so I can improve.
1
reply
Reality Check
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#5
Report 2 years ago
#5
(Original post by SF2)
Hey, iv just finished an exam question for Eduqas English language. It was a review question on a book. What grade would I get for this:
...
Maybe 2 or 3. It's absolutely terrible.
0
reply
.N.A.
Badges: 16
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by SF2)
Thank you for your feedback I really appreciate it and will definitely try to use it so I can improve.

It's a great start and I'm sure that if you follow the tips others have given, it'll be even better! GL
0
reply
username5136494
Badges: 15
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 2 years ago
#7
it depends how old you are tbh
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Has advance information helped during your exams?

Yes (67)
66.34%
No (26)
25.74%
I didn't use it to prepare (8)
7.92%

Watched Threads

View All