The Student Room Group

how do i get my man to stop crushing on other girls

now i dont mean to sound like an overly possessive crazy girlfriend but i genuinely hate it when my bf admires other girls in my presence or i feel like he's into them. it doesn't happen with people we know, it's usually celebrities and especially kendall jenner. he tries to downplay it but keeps mentioning her every time we talk about either models, the kardashians, or celebrities or even facial features.
i understand she's aesthetic to look at but also can you stop making it look like you're settling for me when if given the chance you'd be with her. celebrities are people, and celebrity or not, i want my man to find me the best looking creature he's seen that he won't leave for anyone. other than rihanna, i understand if it's rihanna. but kendall jenner? come on. am i a joke to you.
i've tried brushing it off but it always makes me feel some type of way. it's gotten to the point where i think i'm confident in what his type is that if i see a girl i would know if he would be into her or not. i hate how it makes me feel because im not usually jealous but his constant admiration put a dent on me and i'm becoming bitter.
i know that this is something i have to work on for myself but i hate myself for even feeling this. how do i stop feeling like he should only admire me because it's making me feel like a narcissist. i dont think it's jealousy. because i dont want to be kendall or anyone else since i genuinely believe i look and think better (in my opinion and by my standards) but it's just upsetting he can't see that and agree with me enough to not crush on other girls.

has this happened to anyone? what would you advise

Scroll to see replies

**** him off
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
**** him off

what does that say
Original post by Anonymous
now i dont mean to sound like an overly possessive crazy girlfriend but i genuinely hate it when my bf admires other girls in my presence or i feel like he's into them. it doesn't happen with people we know, it's usually celebrities and especially kendall jenner. he tries to downplay it but keeps mentioning her every time we talk about either models, the kardashians, or celebrities or even facial features.
i understand she's aesthetic to look at but also can you stop making it look like you're settling for me when if given the chance you'd be with her. celebrities are people, and celebrity or not, i want my man to find me the best looking creature he's seen that he won't leave for anyone. other than rihanna, i understand if it's rihanna. but kendall jenner? come on. am i a joke to you.
i've tried brushing it off but it always makes me feel some type of way. it's gotten to the point where i think i'm confident in what his type is that if i see a girl i would know if he would be into her or not. i hate how it makes me feel because im not usually jealous but his constant admiration put a dent on me and i'm becoming bitter.
i know that this is something i have to work on for myself but i hate myself for even feeling this. how do i stop feeling like he should only admire me because it's making me feel like a narcissist. i dont think it's jealousy. because i dont want to be kendall or anyone else since i genuinely believe i look and think better (in my opinion and by my standards) but it's just upsetting he can't see that and agree with me enough to not crush on other girls.

has this happened to anyone? what would y

satisfy him
Reply 4
Prove to him why you're better than Kylie Jenner, and why he should be grateful that he has a girlfriend.
Most girls would see this as a turn-off and dump him because of his actions.
But you're not "the best looking creature he's seen", so why should he pretend you are? You don't just get with the best looking person you can, relationships are about more than that. You shouldn't be getting jealous because your boyfriend finds celebrities attractive. Nobody stops finding people attractive just because they're dating someone. It's just that - hopefully - they have the morals not to act on that attraction.
Reply 6
Original post by Adz2042
Prove to him why you're better than Kylie Jenner, and why he should be grateful that he has a girlfriend.
Most girls would see this as a turn-off and dump him because of his actions.

the moment he chose to pursue me means he knew my worth. im not here for this prove myself to him because i expect someone who's interested in something serious with me to know all this already and appreciate it enough to want to ignore other options. it is a major turn off for me too that i've been ignoring for a while and i think he's picked up on it a few times.
Reply 7
leave him. simple. if someone doesnt see your worth and makes you feel like youre less than other girls and dont offer enough then hes an ******* and you can do better. relationships are more than just what you look like, yeah ofc you have to be physically attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them as well as emotionally connected to them, but when he entered a relationship with you he knew who you were and what you could offer and him eyeing up other girls is not just disrespectful towards your relationship but also disrespectful towards you. my opinion is let him go and let him mature on his own
Original post by Anonymous
now i dont mean to sound like an overly possessive crazy girlfriend but i genuinely hate it when my bf admires other girls in my presence or i feel like he's into them. it doesn't happen with people we know, it's usually celebrities and especially kendall jenner. he tries to downplay it but keeps mentioning her every time we talk about either models, the kardashians, or celebrities or even facial features.
i understand she's aesthetic to look at but also can you stop making it look like you're settling for me when if given the chance you'd be with her. celebrities are people, and celebrity or not, i want my man to find me the best looking creature he's seen that he won't leave for anyone. other than rihanna, i understand if it's rihanna. but kendall jenner? come on. am i a joke to you.
i've tried brushing it off but it always makes me feel some type of way. it's gotten to the point where i think i'm confident in what his type is that if i see a girl i would know if he would be into her or not. i hate how it makes me feel because im not usually jealous but his constant admiration put a dent on me and i'm becoming bitter.
i know that this is something i have to work on for myself but i hate myself for even feeling this. how do i stop feeling like he should only admire me because it's making me feel like a narcissist. i dont think it's jealousy. because i dont want to be kendall or anyone else since i genuinely believe i look and think better (in my opinion and by my standards) but it's just upsetting he can't see that and agree with me enough to not crush on other girls.

has this happened to anyone? what would you advise

I'm sorry, but this does come across as pretty childish. It's not realistic or reasonable to expect your partner, once they're with you, to never find anyone else attractive. This phrase, in particular, is super-childish:

i want my man to find me the best looking creature he's seen that he won't leave for anyone. other than rihanna, i understand if it's rihanna. but kendall jenner? come on. am i a joke to you.



This sort of thing, ordinarily, would make me think this is a troll post, but I actually think you probably believe this is reasonable :laugh:

Take out: you're not the best looking woman in the history of the world. Your bf, as a man with a pulse, is going to find lots of other people attractive. Deal with that. What's more troublesome is the poor taste your bf is showing in his crushes: a Kartrashian :K:
Reply 9
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
But you're not "the best looking creature he's seen", so why should he pretend you are? You don't just get with the best looking person you can, relationships are about more than that. You shouldn't be getting jealous because your boyfriend finds celebrities attractive. Nobody stops finding people attractive just because they're dating someone. It's just that - hopefully - they have the morals not to act on that attraction.

why am i not? im his SO. i should be. every potential relationship ive gotten into the person at the time for me was pure eye candy and the best thing ive laid eyes on. obviously relationships are more than that but he's extremely visual and if i didn't look the best to him at the time he would not have gotten with me regardless of my personality. i dont lust after guys (if i find someone good looking i certainly wont go and tell him about it or explain their features to him because imo that's just disrespectful and asking for insecurity to be bred) so why should i be made to feel like he's lusting over other girls?
i dont get it, if he's gonna do it he can do it in private i dont want to hear about it. because to me, acting on that attraction includes telling your girlfriend that you find them attractive and want to sleep with them. please.
Original post by Reality Check
I'm sorry, but this does come across as pretty childish. It's not realistic or reasonable to expect your partner, once they're with you, to never find anyone else attractive. This phrase, in particular, is super-childish:




This sort of thing, ordinarily, would make me think this is a troll post, but I actually think you probably believe this is reasonable :laugh:

Take out: you're not the best looking woman in the history of the world. Your bf, as a man with a pulse, is going to find lots of other people attractive. Deal with that. What's more troublesome is the poor taste your bf is showing in his crushes: a Kartrashian :K:

i understand why it comes across as childish, but this wasn't done once or twice. it was a consistent thing that gets offputting after 3 times. if he finds other people attractive idgaf, but ultimately if he's with me, i should be the ideal? otherwise he's just settling and if given the chance he'd be with said celebrity. and i'm too good to be settled for. in the least cocky way possible. just because she's a celebrity and i'm not doesn't mean i am lesser than her.
i'm not the best looking woman but to my bf i should be. because to me he's the best looking man.

your last point is another thing that's bothering me. a kardashian?? if you're going to piss me off by lusting after other girls at least make it someone worth it. go hard or go home. but a kardashian? really?
Original post by dannyfen
leave him. simple. if someone doesnt see your worth and makes you feel like youre less than other girls and dont offer enough then hes an ******* and you can do better. relationships are more than just what you look like, yeah ofc you have to be physically attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them as well as emotionally connected to them, but when he entered a relationship with you he knew who you were and what you could offer and him eyeing up other girls is not just disrespectful towards your relationship but also disrespectful towards you. my opinion is let him go and let him mature on his own

i agree with you on the disrespect. i don't understand how it's so hard to see that it's disrespectful and definitely not something you want to hear. maybe we just work differently and he likes multiple people at once. but for me, that's definitely a turn off. he has other amazing qualities so i won't leave him for this but if it's something that keeps persisting i will have it considered
Eat willy
Original post by Anonymous

your last point is another thing that's bothering me. a kardashian?? if you're going to piss me off by lusting after other girls at least make it someone worth it. go hard or go home. but a kardashian? really?


This is the bit we both agree on: your bf lusting after a kartrashian is super-tragic, and shows some serious bad taste.
Be lucky you’ve got a man, autistic me doesn’t stand a chance in life.
Original post by Anonymous
i understand why it comes across as childish, but this wasn't done once or twice. it was a consistent thing that gets offputting after 3 times. if he finds other people attractive idgaf, but ultimately if he's with me, i should be the ideal? otherwise he's just settling and if given the chance he'd be with said celebrity. and i'm too good to be settled for. in the least cocky way possible. just because she's a celebrity and i'm not doesn't mean i am lesser than her.
i'm not the best looking woman but to my bf i should be. because to me he's the best looking man.

your last point is another thing that's bothering me. a kardashian?? if you're going to piss me off by lusting after other girls at least make it someone worth it. go hard or go home. but a kardashian? really?


I think he chose you for multiple reasons I am sure you're good looking and attractive to him otherwise he wouldn't bother, yes of course males like celebrities just like we females have celeb crushes ik for me its Henry Cavil, and for my boyfriend he likes Emily Ratoutii (whatever shes called) or he likes Mia Khalifa, its just in human nature we can't help that, we all have tastes and so long as he doesn't act on that its okay, but like you got to try just deal with it, try and develop a crush on a male celebrity if it helps. Or Just express that you're uncomfortable with him having crushes and voicing them out to you etc...
Original post by kekedoyouloveme?
I think he chose you for multiple reasons I am sure you're good looking and attractive to him otherwise he wouldn't bother, yes of course males like celebrities just like we females have celeb crushes ik for me its Henry Cavil, and for my boyfriend he likes Emily Ratoutii (whatever shes called) or he likes Mia Khalifa, its just in human nature we can't help that, we all have tastes and so long as he doesn't act on that its okay, but like you got to try just deal with it, try and develop a crush on a male celebrity if it helps. Or Just express that you're uncomfortable with him having crushes and voicing them out to you etc...


Henry Cavil, you do have good taste in celebs. What a legend
Original post by Reality Check
This is the bit we both agree on: your bf lusting after a kartrashian is super-tragic, and shows some serious bad taste.

so true :laugh:
You're not possessive, more jealous and insecure. Physical features aren't the only things that make you attractive. Where you say he 'crushes' its not exactly like hes cheating or something.

Be more confident in yourself!
Original post by Anonymous
why am i not? im his SO. i should be. every potential relationship ive gotten into the person at the time for me was pure eye candy and the best thing ive laid eyes on. obviously relationships are more than that but he's extremely visual and if i didn't look the best to him at the time he would not have gotten with me regardless of my personality. i dont lust after guys (if i find someone good looking i certainly wont go and tell him about it or explain their features to him because imo that's just disrespectful and asking for insecurity to be bred) so why should i be made to feel like he's lusting over other girls?
i dont get it, if he's gonna do it he can do it in private i dont want to hear about it. because to me, acting on that attraction includes telling your girlfriend that you find them attractive and want to sleep with them. please.


You're being silly, and it sounds like you're overly paranoid and touchy. You are not the most attractive girl in the world. You're not. You never will be. BUT he loves you for who you are.

Latest

Trending

Trending