Masturbation is ruining my life (My own version 2020)

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 10 months ago
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https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=922534 Click this link to see the referenced post.

So here's this, I am currently 17. I started masturbating when I'm still young. I get addicted also to watching porn because that time I was alone and I have nothing to do with my time. I think its just because of the boredom. But now, I have a much mature responsibilities.

I saw this forum/website when I tried to search "Every time I jerk off, there are always bad things happening after" or something like that. And I was shocked to read about the post above because we are sorta similar to each other.

In my case, it started out when I was 16 up to now, what will happen 24hrs or maybe right before I masturbate is that there will be something bad and it will bring up to the point that it is really making me cry a lot. I already have done a year without masturbating but then something came up and now its going crazy again. And one time last january, I have done it again and I never knew that the week after that would be the results of my College Entrance Examination, and you know what happened after that week. Yes, I failed. Of all that two college entrance examinations, I both failed. Also, if there are times that I engage into watching something and it is somehow explicit or pornographic, me and my girlfriend would always fight about something that I really do not know that it could be a fire starter in our fights. I didn't really purposely watched it and sometimes when I am watching films it just come up as a part of the film itself.

I don't know what to do. I am always asking why it is so hard for me when it comes to something related to giving pleasure and releasing tensions in my self. I am always asking to God that why is this happening to me, because it always seems like it is just a normal thing to do as a person. I don't really know who to talk to. I just want to live like everybody else. Why can't I do that without something bad happening to me afterwards. I'm struggling and I kinda feel like I can not find the answers to my questions. I know that when I was young, I was really addicted to porn but I tried to masturbate without watching porn and it still sucks. It is still the same. I know I have talked with my girlfriend with this and she say's its fine if I do it but then again even if I will tell to her that I'm gonna do it, it will always lead to something bad afterwards.

And it also has affected my relationship with my girlfriend. Because there are times that after I do masturbation, 24 hrs later or so, we will fight and it will lead to something that somehow will be the reason of our break up. And I don't want that to happen that is why I am keeping myself away from doing that. But I can't keep on thinking why the world is doing this to me. Why can't I live a normal life.

I am really in a position right now that I can't identify what is really happening. Is it something that I will understand as the time goes by or what. I have been struggling with this problem for almost a year. I want to stop doing it abnormally but also I can't do it normally. Something's not right about this.

I hope that you guys would be a great help. I really don't know what to do. I just wanna be normal like you. I just want to feel normal and not be scared that after I do something like that, something bad will happen just like before.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 10 months ago
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Porn addiction is a very serious problem. My friend was addicted to it for thirty years and his entire personality changed, his relationships broke down with others. It will only get worse if you really feel you can’t stop. You should go to a counsellor for help
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Dunnig Kruger
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OK, so what about the thousands or millions of 17 year olds that have masturbated often enough and still passed their exams and had a good enough relationship with the people around them and a good enough relationship with them themselves?

How about looking at this logically? Cause and effect?

How about discarding any superstitious thoughts where masturbation is associated with bad luck or a set back?

The main reason you are struggling with your relationship with your girlfriend is that you are 17! You lack maturity. Because you are 17! You don't lack maturity for a 17 year old. You may even be a bit more mature for your age than most 17 year olds, whilst still lacking the maturity to have a successful long term romantic relationship.

You fighting with your girlfriend shows that you lack maturity. That's fine! You're learning. You're growing up. Look to find ways you can modify your thought process or the decisions that you make to reduce the frequency and severity of your arguments.

Likewise failing at entrance examinations is fine. You're learning!
Maybe you didn't give the exams your best shot? If you didn't it's not down to masturbation. It was down to you not being focused enough on your exams, or you using poor exam technique.
Maybe you did give it your best shot and still failed? That's fine too. There are load of interesting enough and well paid things you can do for a living whilst being as thick as two short planks and having no A levels nor degrees.

A major issue here is boredom. Far more so than the masturbation. Boredom is a common issue for 17 year olds.
You can be mature about your boredom and start filling your time with worthwhile things. Or you can continue to be immature about it and just say "I'm bored" and then do nothing positive about it.
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 10 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 10 months ago
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
OK, so what about the thousands or millions of 17 year olds that have masturbated often enough and still passed their exams and had a good enough relationship with the people around them and a good enough relationship with them themselves?

How about looking at this logically? Cause and effect?

How about discarding any superstitious thoughts where masturbation is associated with bad luck or a set back?

The main reason you are struggling with your relationship with your girlfriend is that you are 17! You lack maturity. Because you are 17! You don't lack maturity for a 17 year old. You may even be a bit more mature for your age than most 17 year olds, whilst still lacking the maturity to have a successful long term romantic relationship.

You fighting with your girlfriend shows that you lack maturity. That's fine! You're learning. You're growing up. Look to find ways you can modify your thought process or the decisions that you make to reduce the frequency and severity of your arguments.

Likewise failing at entrance examinations is fine. You're learning!
Maybe you didn't give the exams your best shot? If you didn't it's not down to masturbation. It was down to you not being focused enough on your exams, or you using poor exam technique.
Maybe you did give it your best shot and still failed? That's fine too. There are load of interesting enough and well paid things you can do for a living whilst being as thick as two short planks and having no A levels nor degrees.

A major issue here is boredom. Far more so than the masturbation. Boredom is a common issue for 17 year olds.
You can be mature about your boredom and start filling your time with worthwhile things. Or you can continue to be immature about it and just say "I'm bored" and then do nothing positive about it.
Thank you for this, I really appreciated your reply. But the real thing is I am an aspiring film maker. My chosen course for college is AB Film.

Last year, I was in a group/team of event photo/video team. I was the head editor and videographer. My time then was really limited because of the loads of backlogs that needed to be passed on due. I was also currently studying at 12th grade. But the thing is sometimes, when I feel like stressed out or something, I kinda surf through web and somehow find something that is interesting and finding out myself in the situation where I am already engaging into watching pornographic videos. The issue here is not about porn but about how I was being held back by the fear of getting something that is unfavorable to me after a relapse. I already checked it out myself, I tried to masturbate without watching porn and I also tried doing it with the consent of my partner but it still ended up bad after a while. That is why right now, I am in a constant search of what to do. And again, I just want to be a normal guy who does stuffs that are normal.
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