Computer games and boyfriend

He plays like 20-30 hours a week (at uni). Our relationship is really struggling (LDR) yet he has the audacity to say he is busy! And makes no time for me. Like we hardly talk. Today on the phone (first time we've called in months), he is playing computer games at the same time. Only half concentrating on the serious conversation we are having. I just think that's SO rude!

He admitted I am a low priority in his life. His ****ing computer games aren't. Honestly if he put half as much energy and time into our relationship as he had those games it wouldn't be in the mess it is. Yet he has the audacity to say he wants to make the relationship work.

I'm sick of and highly offended about being less of a priority than a screen.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Games are fun to play.
But you should probably break up.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Gaming addiction is a real mental health condition (ICD-11). That doesn't have any bearing on whether you should stay with him, but he does need help.

Reply 3

AnonymousNoMore

Original post by Anonymous

Gaming addiction is a real mental health condition (ICD-11). That doesn't have any bearing on whether you should stay with him, but he does need help.

How do you know he's an addict? Maybe he just likes gaming and doesn't particularly like his girlfriend

Reply 4

username2393237

I like to play, but his behaviour is unacceptable. I would just move on.

Reply 5

MidgetFever

Why not play games with him?

Me and my boyfriend did a lot when we were in an LDR, it's a good way to spend time together.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Original post by AnonymousNoMore

How do you know he's an addict? Maybe he just likes gaming and doesn't particularly like his girlfriend

No one alcoholic in your family then?

He may not be an addict, although the little said sounds it could be.

Unfortunately your approach is wrong. There are addicts out there, you are misinformed. Saying no to every case will be wrong.

Reply 7

TheMcSame

Original post by MidgetFever

Why not play games with him?

Me and my boyfriend did a lot when we were in an LDR, it's a good way to spend time together.

That was my initial reaction, but if the op's claims of him admitting the op is a low priority in his life and that gaming is the reason he isn't making time for the OP, I think there are bigger issues with the relationship.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 8

MidgetFever

Original post by TheMcSame

I agree, but it may be a step to resolving this issue. OP plays games with him for example if he can also compromise and make the effort to spend time with OP. That way they're both making an effort.

Reply 9

ANM775

i'd dump him tbh

that "low priority" remark would just tip me over the edge..

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by AnonymousNoMore

How do you know he's an addict? Maybe he just likes gaming and doesn't particularly like his girlfriend

For the first 2 months of our relationship he gave me a lot of time, then it was always the games over me! His friendship group are all like it, some playing 40 hours a week! Tho they're not always playing together, they all like them.

Original post by MidgetFever

I agree, but it may be a step to resolving this issue. OP plays games with him for example if he can also compromise and make the effort to spend time with OP. That way they're both making an effort.

In person it's not like he plays them but we hardly meet bc ldr and I don't think anyone is that socially retarded they whip out their laptop and play games in someone's company. I hate computer games, I've been happy to try and appreciate every other hobby of his but this one is obsessive in my opinion. Why does a hobby need to be so time consuming?

Original post by ANM775

i'd dump him tbh

that "low priority" remark would just tip me over the edge..

Yeah that has upset me :/ I wouldn't mind if it was work or study that was the higher priority as it should be, but it's games and a screen!

Original post by Anonymous

If I ask if he's addicted he'll say no and I can't really ask him to stop playing computer games although I pointed out the rudeness of him talking and playing

Reply 11

AnonymousNoMore

Original post by Anonymous

I mean I do but that's a different point. Spending a large amount of time on something, as is all that's said here, does not qualify you as an addict.

Reply 12

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

He has priorities and you arent one of them.
You arent going to change that so make a choice as to whether you are ok with that and if not, then find someone else.

Reply 13

sandytablet

When I don't have things due, I play 20-30 hours a week and still have time to maintain a good relationship with my boyfriend. Your boyfriend just sounds like he's being inconsiderate; him even stating that you're a "low priority" in his life practically shows he doesn't really care about the relationship.

It's not worth the worry, I think; probably better to just break up with him.