I'm so sorry. Try not to work yourself up about something that is still uncertain, there may be solutions available. At the end of the day if this is it, this is it. You just got to understand the situation at hand and stay strong. All problems have solutions and for this problem specifically there are plenty of people going through the same thing. You're still young and life is still an uncertain path for you so just keep moving and one day you will find yourself in a place you never imagined being in, you just gotta stay strong.