What do I do I don't think I'm lesbian but...

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Y45RAH
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
Soo there's this girl in school who's literally perfect in so many ways and whenever I'm speaking with her I tend to blush way too much... I was hoping someone could clarify things for me because I really don't think I'm lesbian that'd be wierd but idk why I'm blushing so bloody much... Is it just intimidation? Also is blushing contagious? Because she also seems to be blushing alot of the time when we're talking and I was just wondering if it's cause I'm being really awkward and making her uncomfortable or if it's just like yawning or something... These things are kind of foreign to me so I need some help
Be yourself, if you find it weird you may need time to take it in. But you should tell her how you feel. Go for it gurlll, Ya got this.
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YUSLP
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#22
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#22
If yous aint gay then yous aint gay

Move on
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FrancescaC2000
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I did something reeaally stupid just now... So like I was able to text her (at 5am but still) then I freaked out and deleted the text and now it's probably super wierd to message her again and I doubt she really cares cause I genuinely don't think she's going to message me back... Even if it's just to ask why I deleted the message... But then again idk... Anyways, I don't want to text her again cause now it's definitely going to seem strange probably.
I do think you should give her a chance to reply so that you can build your confidence and then you won’t be so worried and the conversation will just flow because you will be much more comfortable. I don’t think you should just leave it as “message deleted”. If I text again with a message deleted before it doesn’t look weird it just looks like there was a mistake or something in the message (like a typo) that I wanted to change.
I know what it feels like to put yourself out there and feel totally out of your comfort zone and start to panic, but the best thing you can do is trust yourself and look out for the signs - and if you have ever put this question on TSR and explaining how ur feeling and asking whether u should message her should be enough of a sign that really you do like her and you do WANT to message her.
Take the signs life gives you and have CONFIDENCE in yourself. Be unapologetically who you are and if people don’t like it, that is THEIR loss!!
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Anonymous #1
#24
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#24
(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
I do think you should give her a chance to reply so that you can build your confidence and then you won’t be so worried and the conversation will just flow because you will be much more comfortable. I don’t think you should just leave it as “message deleted”. If I text again with a message deleted before it doesn’t look weird it just looks like there was a mistake or something in the message (like a typo) that I wanted to change.
I know what it feels like to put yourself out there and feel totally out of your comfort zone and start to panic, but the best thing you can do is trust yourself and look out for the signs - and if you have ever put this question on TSR and explaining how ur feeling and asking whether u should message her should be enough of a sign that really you do like her and you do WANT to message her.
Take the signs life gives you and have CONFIDENCE in yourself. Be unapologetically who you are and if people don’t like it, that is THEIR loss!!
Yeah but now it's too late... I didn't write anything after the message deleted and now I can't because that was literally HOURS ago... Also she didn't say anything about it so clearly it didn't really bother her so I feel like all of this is pointless... I don't want to seem annoying and clingy so I don't really text people in general so I'll just feel like I'm being really really annoying if I decide to text so soon after, and I feel like she'll cause I'm sure she's got better things to do and better people to talk to anyway if she really wanted to talk to someone
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mgi
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
Right now idk, Idt I'm lesbian I think I'm just confused... Also, I kind of make myself invisible to people outside of lessons because I never know how to start conversations even when I do know it takes alot I mean ALOT of myself to actually start the conversations... Even a "hi" is stressful... Plus she's always with her friends after lesson so I don't really have anywhere to fit into...
Do you have any contact details for her? And what help are you getting to improve your self confidence?
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Greywolftwo
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
Soo there's this girl in school who's literally perfect in so many ways and whenever I'm speaking with her I tend to blush way too much... I was hoping someone could clarify things for me because I really don't think I'm lesbian that'd be wierd but idk why I'm blushing so bloody much... Is it just intimidation? Also is blushing contagious? Because she also seems to be blushing alot of the time when we're talking and I was just wondering if it's cause I'm being really awkward and making her uncomfortable or if it's just like yawning or something... These things are kind of foreign to me so I need some help
Is blushing contagious? 🤦*♂️
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Anonymous #1
#27
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#27
(Original post by Greywolftwo)
Is blushing contagious? 🤦*♂️
Idk is it?? What do those emojis even mean together I'm really confused???

(Original post by mgi)
Do you have any contact details for her? And what help are you getting to improve your self confidence?
I'm right now trying to help myself because I'd rather not burden my parents
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A_J_T
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#28
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#28
(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
Sexuality is fluid. It can change and evolve all the time and is on a whole wide spectrum. There isn't just bi, gay, straight, pan. You can be a combination all over. Sometimes sex is purely physical, sometimes it's purely emotional. Relationships work the same in this way. If you do like her / are attracted to her, that doesn't mean you're a lesbian (but even if it did who cares?) because there are no strict and plain answers to sexuality.
This doesn't make sense to me. I'm a guy and I'm straight af. That's it.
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FrancescaC2000
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#29
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#29
(Original post by A_J_T)
This doesn't make sense to me. I'm a guy and I'm straight af. That's it.
That's fine if that's how you identify your sexuality, but for most people sexuality isn't just 'gay or straight af'. Sexual behaviour is used for multiple reasons. For example (bleakly) rape isn't about sex or sexual attraction, rape is about power and control, it's not about who you are sexually attracted to. Lots of animals in nature work the same way. Male Lions will engage in homosexual behaviours to assert dominance, many primate species engage in homosexual behaviour with one another to resolve conflict within the group, and some do it purely because they enjoy it (female bonobos are known to pick female sex partners during mating season over male ones). The point is homosexuality and bisexuality, and everything in between, is seen throughout the animal kingdom in all walks of life for many reasons, and humans are no different. Sex and sexual behaviours can be used as purely just an act (as we can see in both animal and human behaviour) therefore sexuality is fluid and ranges on a whole spectrum of ideas - sexuality isn't always just about who you're attracted to, it's how you use and think about sex itself as well.

Hope that makes sense and opens up your ideas about sexual fluidity
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mgi
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#30
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#30
(Original post by FrancescaC2000)
That's fine if that's how you identify your sexuality, but for most people sexuality isn't just 'gay or straight af'. Sexual behaviour is used for multiple reasons. For example (bleakly) rape isn't about sex or sexual attraction, rape is about power and control, it's not about who you are sexually attracted to. Lots of animals in nature work the same way. Male Lions will engage in homosexual behaviours to assert dominance, many primate species engage in homosexual behaviour with one another to resolve conflict within the group, and some do it purely because they enjoy it (female bonobos are known to pick female sex partners during mating season over male ones). The point is homosexuality and bisexuality, and everything in between, is seen throughout the animal kingdom in all walks of life for many reasons, and humans are no different. Sex and sexual behaviours can be used as purely just an act (as we can see in both animal and human behaviour) therefore sexuality is fluid and ranges on a whole spectrum of ideas - sexuality isn't always just about who you're attracted to, it's how you use and think about sex itself as well.

Hope that makes sense and opens up your ideas about sexual fluidity
No. Its just more confusing!
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FrancescaC2000
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#31
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#31
(Original post by mgi)
No. Its just more confusing!
Really? What are you finding confusing?
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mgi
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#32
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#32
(Original post by mgi)
No. Its just more confusing!
My thoughts were, (without judging anyone, ): 3 types of people- gay, heterosexual and bisexual. The other names people use mainly just seem like descriptions of feelings rather than who they actually are born as; ie they are gay or straight or bisexual. Is that not right? If not , why not?
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Roseyr1119-20
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Bruinsgirl40)
Don't put a label on it, that will just stress you out further and make you question everything you do. If you think you like her then enjoy that, don't put pressure on yourself to fit into a certain category.

If you are a lesbian - GREAT.
If you are bisexual - GREAT
If you are Straight - GREAT

The same goes for all the other options like Pansexual etc.

Enjoy life
whats pansexual
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mgi
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Roseyr1119-20)
whats pansexual
a choice of how you want to react to your sexuality ? People are not born as pansexual are they? i thought it was a choice of a sexual life style?
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FrancescaC2000
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Roseyr1119-20)
whats pansexual
It's a romantic attraction towards people regardless of their sex / gender identity
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Anonymous #1
#36
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#36
(Original post by Deborah_C)
How do you know she isn't thinking exactly the same thing as you, and being as shy as you? Someone has to make a move.
You don't need to text and throw your heart at her, just send a message leaving a door open, if you know what I mean.
Sorry I hadn't noticed you'd responded ages ago... I mean maybe she's shy as well?... But I just keep thinking "why would she be shy? She's literally perfect in every way so I don't really think she's afraid of speaking to this mess aka me. Also could you please tell me what you mean with sending a message to leave a door open cause I don't actually get what you mean...
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Deborah_C
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#37
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#37
People who look outgoing and confident often aren't, believe me! I know when I first started dental nursing I was really shy and had no confidence at all dealing with patients, but I looked as though I was happy, smiley, fun and confident. Totally the opposite of how I felt.
Anyway, what I meant by "leave a door open"; it's like I said, send a message, something like "I'm so bored, if you are too feel free to send me a message" or something like that. At least it keep communication going and gives her an opening to write back. She could by lying on her bed wondering whether it would be a good idea to write to you first, but she may not know what to say or how to start a conversation.
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by Deborah_C)
Anyway, what I meant by "leave a door open"; it's like I said, send a message, something like "I'm so bored, if you are too feel free to send me a message" or something like that. At least it keep communication going and gives her an opening to write back. She could by lying on her bed wondering whether it would be a good idea to write to you first, but she may not know what to say or how to start a conversation.
I'd love to do that, and I'd love to believe that maybe she's thinking the exact same things as me but I'm just so anxious to do anything. Like I can't help but overthink that maybe she'll just think I'm wierd for texting her even though we aren't really "friends" probably idk, and I also know that this is just me being anxious but everything I think of just seems so reasonable and possible.
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Anonymous #2
#39
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#39
(Original post by Deborah_C)
Will you see her tomorrow? Try to bump into her and "oh hi, look if you get bored give me a shout" and give her your number.
As for being a lesbian, I don't think it's always necessary to label things. I knew a girl once who was in a relationship with another girl, they lived together, but she always said she wasn't a lesbian, she just loved the other girl.
Labels exist for a reason. The girl you knew was a lesbian.
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mgi
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'd love to do that, and I'd love to believe that maybe she's thinking the exact same things as me but I'm just so anxious to do anything. Like I can't help but overthink that maybe she'll just think I'm wierd for texting her even though we aren't really "friends" probably idk, and I also know that this is just me being anxious but everything I think of just seems so reasonable and possible.
What's wrong with you girl? Try this to that girl you actually fancy: Hi ! How are you? How's your day been? i am a bit bored because Corona is keeping me in! What are you up to ? Are you bored as well?
There you go. You see what a few small convo skills can do? It is NOT your problem how she responds, so stop thinking. Remember you are just being nice and friendly; that's how relationships start! Do you agree?
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