Severe loneliness and depression, what do I do?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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I’m at the end of my second year at uni and because of my social anxiety I was way too scared to talk to people and make friends. I’ve spent the last two years locked in my room and seeing everyone else making friends and forming romantic relationships hurts more than ever.Hearing people having sex is the worst for me the fact it’s so natural and literally everybody at uni does it makes me so so jealous and depressed that I’m missing out on that wonderful experience. I’ve seen lots of girls looking at me and smiling before but I’ve been too scared to put myself out there.

This loneliness is so so intense I really want friends and a girlfriend but my social anxiety has stopped me. I planned to join societies this year but didn’t have the courage to go. I’m so angry at myself for the lack of effort I’ve put in this year. Little over a month ago I had a nervous breakdown due to the loneliness and this irrational belief that I’ve developed due to my anxiety making me think that every girl hates me because girls don’t look at me when they see me or show any concern when I’m visibly anxious or depressed, although a small number have. It got a bit better last week but this week my depression has gotten much much worse. I’ve recently started seeing a therapist and he’s advised me to keep a thought journal which I’m doing but this will take a lot of time and effort. I’m also seeing my gp next week about the possibility of medication for my anxiety and depression.

I have two years left of my uni experience but right now my main concern is getting rid of my depression and greatly reducing my social anxiety so I can talk to people to make friends and talk to girls who I can potentially date. Social anxiety is so bad I always feel people can see I’m anxious or depressed or they’re judging me, doing simple things like going to uni or going to buy groceries or talking to people are incredibly scary for me, it’s the worst thing ever it’s ruined my high school years and now half my uni experience and I’m not letting my social anxiety and depression ruin anymore time these are meant to be the best years of my life.

Due to it being near the end of the academic year I would have had like a week to talk to people
Sitting near me in lectures, possibly make small talk with a girl sitting near me in the library and maybe even attend some society meetings even though it’s so late in the year. But coronavirus has meant uni is closed early and the thought of waiting till September is so scary that’s so long away! I have to stay here and work at my part time job at a supermarket till at least early May but I really am so lonely and I’d much rather stay here because at least I’ll still be around girls my age, being 20 and having had zero experience with talking to girls never mind all the sex and relationships everyone else has and takes for granted means I’m really really really wanting a relationship with a girl but I need to improve my mental health a lot.

The only way to overcome social anxiety along with therapy and medication is exposure therapy which is why I’ve decided to join a club back in my home city over the summer, what club yet I’m not sure but it will be one based on my interests. I also need to tackle my socially anxious thoughts because I always tend to panic and shut down in social situations meaning I’m way to scared to say anything to anybody and I need to have the confidence to start conversations with people male and female.

I know this is really long but I’ve been hurting so so bad for so long and now this depression has made me lose all motivation to do anything I feel so hopeless and alone all the time I just want to be happy and have friends and a girlfriend like everyone else. Please can someone give me advice on what I should do or if you think any of my ideas are good thank you.
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Vexper
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By joining a club you're taking a really positive step towards tackling it - make sure you return after the first session. It will only get more comfortable as it goes along despite how overwhelming the first session will be. I would suggest something more physical because it plays more into fight or flight and you can drain off any nervous energy through being active.

I'll be honest I think you're absolutely miles off a relationship and I think you could very easily turn one toxic - fix yourself up before getting into one.
Last edited by Vexper; 1 week ago
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angelike1
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Watch some videos by Sadhguru on YouTube.
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YUSLP
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(Original post by angelike1)
Watch some videos by Sadhguru on YouTube.
😂 i dont trust any man with moustache that thick
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angelike1
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(Original post by YUSLP)
😂 i dont trust any man with moustache that thick
But he has a beard as well lol.

ngl try one short video and you'll be addicted
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YUSLP
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(Original post by angelike1)
But he has a beard as well lol.

ngl try one short video and you'll be addicted
Beards are sexy. Big Moustache's? naaaaaaaa
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Butterflyspretty
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Go on facebook and join the webpage
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Butterflyspretty
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m at the end of my second year at uni and because of my social anxiety I was way too scared to talk to people and make friends. I’ve spent the last two years locked in my room and seeing everyone else making friends and forming romantic relationships hurts more than ever.Hearing people having sex is the worst for me the fact it’s so natural and literally everybody at uni does it makes me so so jealous and depressed that I’m missing out on that wonderful experience. I’ve seen lots of girls looking at me and smiling before but I’ve been too scared to put myself out there.

This loneliness is so so intense I really want friends and a girlfriend but my social anxiety has stopped me. I planned to join societies this year but didn’t have the courage to go. I’m so angry at myself for the lack of effort I’ve put in this year. Little over a month ago I had a nervous breakdown due to the loneliness and this irrational belief that I’ve developed due to my anxiety making me think that every girl hates me because girls don’t look at me when they see me or show any concern when I’m visibly anxious or depressed, although a small number have. It got a bit better last week but this week my depression has gotten much much worse. I’ve recently started seeing a therapist and he’s advised me to keep a thought journal which I’m doing but this will take a lot of time and effort. I’m also seeing my gp next week about the possibility of medication for my anxiety and depression.

I have two years left of my uni experience but right now my main concern is getting rid of my depression and greatly reducing my social anxiety so I can talk to people to make friends and talk to girls who I can potentially date. Social anxiety is so bad I always feel people can see I’m anxious or depressed or they’re judging me, doing simple things like going to uni or going to buy groceries or talking to people are incredibly scary for me, it’s the worst thing ever it’s ruined my high school years and now half my uni experience and I’m not letting my social anxiety and depression ruin anymore time these are meant to be the best years of my life.

Due to it being near the end of the academic year I would have had like a week to talk to people
Sitting near me in lectures, possibly make small talk with a girl sitting near me in the library and maybe even attend some society meetings even though it’s so late in the year. But coronavirus has meant uni is closed early and the thought of waiting till September is so scary that’s so long away! I have to stay here and work at my part time job at a supermarket till at least early May but I really am so lonely and I’d much rather stay here because at least I’ll still be around girls my age, being 20 and having had zero experience with talking to girls never mind all the sex and relationships everyone else has and takes for granted means I’m really really really wanting a relationship with a girl but I need to improve my mental health a lot.

The only way to overcome social anxiety along with therapy and medication is exposure therapy which is why I’ve decided to join a club back in my home city over the summer, what club yet I’m not sure but it will be one based on my interests. I also need to tackle my socially anxious thoughts because I always tend to panic and shut down in social situations meaning I’m way to scared to say anything to anybody and I need to have the confidence to start conversations with people male and female.

I know this is really long but I’ve been hurting so so bad for so long and now this depression has made me lose all motivation to do anything I feel so hopeless and alone all the time I just want to be happy and have friends and a girlfriend like everyone else. Please can someone give me advice on what I should do or if you think any of my ideas are good thank you.
I am sorry you are going through this, but you will get through it! Go on facebook and join the web page "Males Allowed" and you will find lots of emotional support from other men who understand how hard it is to suffer from anxiety. You will make some-one an amazing partner in the future because you sound like a very caring person. Things will be ok, just be kind to yourself too and take it day by day. Good Luck
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Butterflyspretty
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I am sorry you are going through this, but you will get through it! Go on facebook and join the web page "Males Allowed" and you will find lots of emotional support from other men who understand how hard it is to suffer from anxiety. You will make some-one an amazing partner in the future because you sound like a very caring person. Things will be ok, just be kind to yourself too and take it day by day. Good Luck
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Butterflyspretty
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Watch videos by Jay Shetty on Youtube
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