I’m not coping since exams have been cancelled...Watch
I’m currently in year 13 so would have been taking my a-levels this May 2020, which have since been cancelled. Ever since, I’ve just been feeling kind of... empty. I’ve had so many long days of staying late to work, enjoying the feeling that I’m making progress and feeling like I’m doing everything I can for these exams, like I’m really really working towards something. I sort of enjoyed the constant headaches and tiredness, and I think I must be someone that thrives under stress or something. Now I don’t have anything I’m working towards, for the first time in so long, I got home today at 3pm and just sat in bed, played games and watched tv like I hadn’t done in so long. It was okay, but it’s something I would have really enjoyed doing if I was only allowed to do it for a few hours every evening, but now that I can do it as much as I want, I can’t enjoy doing any of the things I used to anymore. I just feel like everything is pointless and there’s no way out of feeling this way. Because I’ll have so much free time now, there’s nothing special about it. Even if I were able to work (I work at the airport and my hours are cut - I don’t think I’ll be returning to work for a while) it wouldn’t fill the gap inside me that the motivation to revise and get good grades did. I need something to looming over me in the future, even back in year 12 it was “okay, when is the next set of mocks?” and always having that current goal in mind which would get replaced (With more mocks/tests/assessments) every time I got past it. This is the first time in so long I just have... nothing at all. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just a crazy neek??
It makes sense you'd feel like that, a massive part of your life has just been cut off for a bad reason. You could try finding uni level content to study maybe?
Also I think I'll read around more.
I recommend that you spend half ur day doing productive stuff e.g reading, duolingo
And then in the evening just enjoy life and chill.
Maybe watch documentaries bc at least u still learning something
And don't worry about the emptiness bc degree will start soon and take up all your life again and later career. This is only a few months of freedom!
(Im more worried about what they're doing with our grades tbh)
I also am finding it difficult to enjoy playing games and watching Netflix and stuff now that I can actually do it guilt free; I’m not enjoying it. I’ve spent the past few nights being unable to sleep because of the anxiety of how we are actually going to be rewarded our final grades, and I really do hope it’s going to be fair. If not, I will just have to resit next year unfortunately....
I also applied to university this year, to start in 2021, so will have around a year and a half free. I was already planning on working during it (as that was the point due to the fact that uni is very expensive lol), but now I really don’t want to be working non stop for that long now that it has hit me :/:
It’s just so sad my gcse’s were awful like I mean pretty much 4’s and 5’s not joking! but I picked up and for AS I got AAA and somehow got offered a place at kings for law but now much teachers esp looking at my class work and etc are not gonna give me that and I’m sooo gutted I can’t sleep I feel like all my hard work is down the drain and I’m back to square one I feel hopeless
But I’m happy to be alive and healthy
I feel this, haven’t felt this way in ages it’s the emptiness feeling. I didn’t get a chance to say bye to teachers we left thinking we would come back in a weeks time weird how things change so quickly. I guess the not know part is the hardest no one likes uncertainty especially when it comes to something as important as this
Grateful for what? That because of exam cancellation you don't have a uni to go to and a chance of building your career and life in future? Yeah, I always dreamt about no future lol.