Advice on me and my long distance bf/friend

To start off we both like each other a lot and we've both agreed that we want to ask each other out when it feels more natural. We used to facetime every night and text when we could but bc of the time difference it was hard. Recently there was a small incident that ended up w the police having my phone, not bc ive done anything bad, so i've had to use my parents phone every once in a while for snap and insta on my laptop. I asked him to get skype/discord or any other calling app but he felt like it was too much for him and that he downloaded snap just for me and felt overwhelmed by everything. He then said that he might delete snap so I said that if he finds it too difficult to try and talk to me he doesnt have to. He also won't accept my ig request which also isn't a big deal but i don't see why he wouldn't.

Was i being too harsh? Am i being too demanding by asking him to call?

No. He is being to snobby and secretive. Whats his problem??? I used to have the same problem honestly. I used to date online too. Its not good honestly... messed up!

THANK YOU. But i still feel bad bc he's super nice

I was in a long distance relationship for nearly 3 years, from when I was 15 Til I was nearly 18 and so I can give some advice. Long distance (for me anyway) was the most stressful and painful/heartbreaking thing I’ve ever done and been a part of . You have someone that you really love and like a lot, and have strong feelings for, and you’re at the other end of the country / planet to them. There’s limited ways you can be a part of their life when you’re so far from them, and for me anyway, I felt quite helpless and useless a lot of the time. You want to hug them, be with them, but you can’t. You want to hang out but you can’t, and for me, it was easy to be jealous of people who live near your gf/bf and get to be with them, because you can’t get to do that.

Anyway, I think a lot of long distance relationships start online and so people get used to talking online, on text / snapchat/ messenger and stuff. I remember when I first FaceTimed my gf I was really nervous and it felt weird actually hearing her talk and her accent and stuff, after only talking on text and messenger and stuff. You can build up an image of someone in your head when you talk on snap/ messenger and when you FaceTime someone, you kind of get brought face to face with the reality of the relationship and the real person in real life. So I think your bf is probably a bit scared of FaceTiming, it can be awkward at first, and as you both like each other a lot he is probably scared you either won’t like him as much as on snapchat/ or that you’ll be different to how he imagined perhaps. That’s what I found in my relationship and eventually the awkwardness goes away and FaceTime/Skype becomes a fun way to be “together” even if you’re not physically there. Me and my gf would FaceTime and watch a movie together which allowed us to do something at the same time to make us feel like we were being together. I don’t think you’re harsh asking him to call you , but take your time and be understanding. It can be scary calling for the first time.

Another thing. When me and my gf first met in person, it was awkward af and she barely spoke to me. I felt like she didn’t like me but she told me after it that she just couldn’t believe we actually met and that she did like me a lot but she felt awkward in the moment. It felt really weird for me meeting her after talking online for about 6 months, and at first, it felt like I didn’t know her well. Like it felt like all the getting to know each other we had built up online had just disappeared and I was starting to get to know her from scratch. That feeling can be quite scary, thinking you know someone well online and you love them and stuff and then feeling a bit different when you meet up.

I would say try and call him, but be slow. And watch out for the difficulties of long distance. It’s not easy and it’s stressful and lonely at times but if it works it’s worth it.

Mine didn’t work out in the end, and it was really sad and heartbreaking the last time I saw her, so just remember, long distance rarely works out, and there’s a lot of difficulties. I put her first before everyone and started shutting my friends out. Don’t do that, keep a balanced life so that if it ends, you’re not completely marooned on your own.

Hope it works out