Weight problems

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Billie-Rose
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This is going to be really hard to explain, but here goes.
I've struggled with my weight for around 4 years now as I was always super skinny as a kid. All was well and good, but then, puberty struck. My problem was I didn't regulate what I was eating - I didn't need to care, right? Well, at some point I found myself in year nine looking into the mirror at someone I didn't even recognize. Of course I knew physically me, but it wasn't... well *me.* At this point, I just started hating myself and my body, but I didn't do much about it until the following year when I landed head-first into an eating disorder, where I would obsessively exercise for hours a day and eat minimally since I had no real concept of calories. The thing is though, it worked. I went down two UK dress sizes in a year and I to this day haven't gone back up. The issue now is that I'm still not happy. I'm short for my age - 5ft 2in. and I weigh 7 st 4lbs. I'm not happy because I still feel fat. I definitely carry fat around my thighs and butt and I just feel like my body structure is just weird - as in my spine curves in, my belly pokes out a bit as well as my butt and thighs doing the same. I am grossed out by my own body, but at the same time, don't know how to lose any more weight. I want to look like people of a similar height to me such as Avril Lavigne, Halsey and Hayley WIlliams to name a few examples but I don't. In some twisted mindset of mine, I think my body is disgusting. I refuse to wear shorts or T-shirts ever since I feel so uncomfortable in them. I just want to lose around 7 or 8 more pounds but I'm really struggling. Does anyone know how I can achieve this?
Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long read.
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glassalice
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(Original post by Billie-Rose)
This is going to be really hard to explain, but here goes.
I've struggled with my weight for around 4 years now as I was always super skinny as a kid. All was well and good, but then, puberty struck. My problem was I didn't regulate what I was eating - I didn't need to care, right? Well, at some point I found myself in year nine looking into the mirror at someone I didn't even recognize. Of course I knew physically me, but it wasn't... well *me.* At this point, I just started hating myself and my body, but I didn't do much about it until the following year when I landed head-first into an eating disorder, where I would obsessively exercise for hours a day and eat minimally since I had no real concept of calories. The thing is though, it worked. I went down two UK dress sizes in a year and I to this day haven't gone back up. The issue now is that I'm still not happy. I'm short for my age - 5ft 2in. and I weigh 7 st 4lbs. I'm not happy because I still feel fat. I definitely carry fat around my thighs and butt and I just feel like my body structure is just weird - as in my spine curves in, my belly pokes out a bit as well as my butt and thighs doing the same. I am grossed out by my own body, but at the same time, don't know how to lose any more weight. I want to look like people of a similar height to me such as Avril Lavigne, Halsey and Hayley WIlliams to name a few examples but I don't. In some twisted mindset of mine, I think my body is disgusting. I refuse to wear shorts or T-shirts ever since I feel so uncomfortable in them. I just want to lose around 7 or 8 more pounds but I'm really struggling. Does anyone know how I can achieve this?
Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long read.
Hey,
What I am going to say next comes from someone who also has body image problems.
Lossing weight will not make you feel any better, so even when you have lost your 7ibs you won't be satisfied.
But I am sure you know that already.
Just to add my personal experience, within the last 3 years I have bmi's ranging from moderately underweight to 31.5. I hated myself just the same at both.

Focusing on weight isn't going to improve anything for you, learning how to love the whole of yourself as you are will (I don't mean to sound cheesey).
Try reading about people who reject 'diet culture' it's really enlightening and full of hope.

Do you get any support off anyone atm? Therapy maybe able to help you to improve how you feel about your self- although it can be difficult to access.

Good luck 🙂👍
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