Long distance at uni

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tellbell
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Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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Hi so me and my boyfriend have currently been together for nearly 9 months and we used to see each other like everyday at Sixth Form and almost 3 times a week outside of school.

Now with the coronavirus we haven't seen each other since the 16th which i mean isn't that long ago, and we are both struggling. Him more so. Right from the beginning he hinted that he wouldn't be able to deal with a long distance relationship.

Only recently he started to say that he cannot see how we are going to carry on whilst at different unis and saying that if we were going to break up it would be mutual but i don't feel the same way and have told him this.

is this a red flag?
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CerysO
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In order for a long distance relationship to work, you both need to be on the same page, with the same mindset and goals for the relationship. If one of you is more dedicated and determined than the other, I'm sorry to say that it is unlikely to last long once you're apart.

Long distance relationships require a hell of a lot of communication between each other to keep going, they're not easy by any means but if you're both determined, they CAN work. My boyfriend and I have managed to go 6 months long distance in his first year at Uni so far, it has been hard and we've had our ups and downs, but we are managing. It is doable if you put the time and effort into it!

But if your boyfriend is already saying he doesn't want the same as you, I think it would be unfair to put yourself through the pain of starting long distance. You don't want him to potentially turn around within a few days/weeks of leaving to then say that he can't do it. You both need to be clear of what you want before you make the decision of being in a long distance relationship to avoid further complications and upset.

All I can suggest is that you have a long conversation with your boyfriend about everything to see if there's anything that would reassure him that you can both make it work. However, if he still disagrees, you have to remember that you will meet so many new people when you start University! It will hurt if you break up, but in time you'll find someone else who is willing to make the time for you and wouldn't even consider losing you xx
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tellbell
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Heyy,

Wow 6 months (applause). I 100% agree i don't want my first few months of uni to be going through a heartbreak because i really really love him.

I'll definitely take it on board and actually talk to him solely about it... Going to uni is soooo scary wow. Just full of uncertainties but i guess that's life .

Thank you so so much , your kind words mean the most! xx
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