how do i stop thinking about insults that were said to me in high school?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 days ago
#1
title explains it all really. i dont mean to boast whatsoever but back in high school i used to be the tallest in whatever class i was in and athletic wise, i was a lot more fit than most since most of them never even bothered with gym/exercise or anything like that... so naturally, there would be jealous people and sometimes it would show a lot.

one of the guys in my class who joined a bit later ended up becoming one of my friends. he used to say good things about me and compliment me here and there but as time went on he started changing for some reason i really dont know, and even ended up calling me ugly at one point or tried to find little things about me to make fun of. not gonna lie, this really pissed me off and some of the stuff that he said kind of just stuck in my mind.

even though looks wise i'm not bad, and even though girls and other people have complimented me about how i look many times, the bad things seem to always overwrite the good things said.

now whenever i remember about the time he called me ugly, i can't help but to always start doubting myself and start to think of things like "am i really ugly"?

but the main thing about this that bothers me is that since now we're in college, what if he ends up meeting with someone i knew from high school and they both start talking trash about me, like "oh, remember ________ from school, the proper ugly one". or what if he even ends up telling that to some girl that i know about how i used to be (in his eyes) ugly back in school? will that change the girls perception of me? will it ruin my chances with any girl?

i'm not sure if i'm overthinking this now but can anyone give some advice? how can i stop caring so much about the bad stuff being said behind my back? would a girl really judge me based on someone else's made up opinion? also, how can i forget about bad high school memories completely?
0
reply
Joel746
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 days ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
title explains it all really. i dont mean to boast whatsoever but back in high school i used to be the tallest in whatever class i was in and athletic wise, i was a lot more fit than most since most of them never even bothered with gym/exercise or anything like that... so naturally, there would be jealous people and sometimes it would show a lot.

one of the guys in my class who joined a bit later ended up becoming one of my friends. he used to say good things about me and compliment me here and there but as time went on he started changing for some reason i really dont know, and even ended up calling me ugly at one point or tried to find little things about me to make fun of. not gonna lie, this really pissed me off and some of the stuff that he said kind of just stuck in my mind.

even though looks wise i'm not bad, and even though girls and other people have complimented me about how i look many times, the bad things seem to always overwrite the good things said.

now whenever i remember about the time he called me ugly, i can't help but to always start doubting myself and start to think of things like "am i really ugly"?

but the main thing about this that bothers me is that since now we're in college, what if he ends up meeting with someone i knew from high school and they both start talking trash about me, like "oh, remember ________ from school, the proper ugly one". or what if he even ends up telling that to some girl that i know about how i used to be (in his eyes) ugly back in school? will that change the girls perception of me? will it ruin my chances with any girl?

i'm not sure if i'm overthinking this now but can anyone give some advice? how can i stop caring so much about the bad stuff being said behind my back? would a girl really judge me based on someone else's made up opinion? also, how can i forget about bad high school memories completely?
Hello
Honestly, I think you might be overthinking this a little. You will find that a lot of people start to ‘grow up’ after school, and people will tend to forget things that they used to tease you about. Even if they do bring it up, it’s more likely to be a one off thing than a persistent problem.
As for things being said behind your back, you can’t do anything about it unfortunately. It sucks, trust me, especially when you know they are doing it. I once had some ‘friends’ who had a group chat without me, and then when I found out about it they acted like it didn’t exist and never added me. I never spoke to them again and I don’t regret it. I’m sure that the group chats purpose was to just talk about me behind my back. Anyway, the point I’m making is that you shouldn’t care about what people say, as they’re either just jealous or horrible people with bad personalities who won’t get far in life.
I doubt that a girl will judge you on someone else’s opinion as long as you show that you are not who they say you are. Besides, there are billions of girls out there, so what if one girl decides to believe what people tell her. Their loss not yours
Finally, unless there’s some technology that I’m not aware of, some school memories will stick with you for the rest of your life. You just have to accept them and move on, as it is all in the past. Don’t let it get you down.
I hope this answered your questions
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 2 days ago
#3
(Original post by Joel746)
Hello
Honestly, I think you might be overthinking this a little. You will find that a lot of people start to ‘grow up’ after school, and people will tend to forget things that they used to tease you about. Even if they do bring it up, it’s more likely to be a one off thing than a persistent problem.
As for things being said behind your back, you can’t do anything about it unfortunately. It sucks, trust me, especially when you know they are doing it. I once had some ‘friends’ who had a group chat without me, and then when I found out about it they acted like it didn’t exist and never added me. I never spoke to them again and I don’t regret it. I’m sure that the group chats purpose was to just talk about me behind my back. Anyway, the point I’m making is that you shouldn’t care about what people say, as they’re either just jealous or horrible people with bad personalities who won’t get far in life.
I doubt that a girl will judge you on someone else’s opinion as long as you show that you are not who they say you are. Besides, there are billions of girls out there, so what if one girl decides to believe what people tell her. Their loss not yours
Finally, unless there’s some technology that I’m not aware of, some school memories will stick with you for the rest of your life. You just have to accept them and move on, as it is all in the past. Don’t let it get you down.
I hope this answered your questions
it really did! thank you!! will keep what you said in mind 🙏
0
reply
Joel746
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 days ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
it really did! thank you!! will keep what you said in mind 🙏
I’m happy to help
Let me know if you need anything else, I would be happy to answer your questions.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 minute ago
#5
(Original post by Joel746)
I’m happy to help
Let me know if you need anything else, I would be happy to answer your questions.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 thank youuuuuuu
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

With HE fairs postponed, would a virtual HE fair be useful?

Yes (80)
62.02%
No (49)
37.98%

Watched Threads

View All