Has he gone off me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I use to be some what close to this guy friend online. But since 10th Feb we hadn't messaged one another privately. He hasn't even made an effort to answer my questions (on TSR). I have been answering his and he bas always been more than welcoming and open so I've been quite confused with that.

In the past he has told me to not be a stranger and mentioned how he really enjoys are chats and talking to me. So, what's changed? I sent him a private message yesterday (first time since 10th Feb) and he responded back and we had a nice chat.

When I said goodnight he said "Goodnight, it was nice to hear from you". Which could easily be him indicating for more convo but is he being genuine? because why hasn't he bothered himself for so long? or was he just being polite?
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Joel746
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I use to be some what close to this guy friend online. But since 10th Feb we hadn't messaged one another privately. He hasn't even made an effort to answer my questions (on TSR). I have been answering his and he bas always been more than welcoming and open so I've been quite confused with that.

In the past he has told me to not be a stranger and mentioned how he really enjoys are chats and talking to me. So, what's changed? I sent him a private message yesterday (first time since 10th Feb) and he responded back and we had a nice chat.

When I said goodnight he said "Goodnight, it was nice to hear from you". Which could easily be him indicating for more convo but is he being genuine? because why hasn't he bothered himself for so long? or was he just being polite?
Hello
Many possibilities here.
Maybe he has met someone else.
He could be just really busy.
Stressed from Coronavirus.
He could be bored.
He may have just lost interest in you, but honestly it doesn’t sound like that.
He might feel that he was the one putting in all the effort.
Honestly there isn’t much information to go off, so I might be wrong with all of these. Maybe try to slowly start messaging him more often again?
Also, can I ask why you just stopped talking in the first place?
Hope this helps
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Joel746)
Hello
Many possibilities here.
Maybe he has met someone else.
He could be just really busy.
Stressed from Coronavirus.
He could be bored.
He may have just lost interest in you, but honestly it doesn’t sound like that.
He might feel that he was the one putting in all the effort.
Honestly there isn’t much information to go off, so I might be wrong with all of these. Maybe try to slowly start messaging him more often again?
Also, can I ask why you just stopped talking in the first place?
Hope this helps
thanks for your response. I stopped messaging him as much because I was always the one to contact him first even though he had initiated that he wanted to chat more saying to not be a stranger and how much he enjoys our chats. But in the end I wasnt so sure anymore because I was the one expected to always message first so I stopped messaging him first... and here we are. he never responded since Feb so I messaged him AGAIN because he wasnt doing it
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Anonymous #1
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I know he hasn't met someone else. he would have mentioned it in our last chat. But I dont know. it's not like he doesnt come online, he spends at least once a day on YH even if it is for less than an hour
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he never responded since Feb ing it
sorry I just need to correct myself. He never reached out, as in never bothered to message first. I might have confused you by saying not responded- he has always responded if I reach out first lol
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks for your response. I stopped messaging him as much because I was always the one to contact him first even though he had initiated that he wanted to chat more saying to not be a stranger and how much he enjoys our chats. But in the end I wasnt so sure anymore because I was the one expected to always message first so I stopped messaging him first... and here we are. he never responded since Feb so I messaged him AGAIN because he wasnt doing it
Happy to help you
You have just highlighted a bit of a problem, which is you are always the one sending the messages. In a typical relationship it should be the other way round, with him asking you the questions really. Maybe he is just really shy or doesn’t know how to start conversations off. Can I ask, is he quite introverted? Is this his first time ‘dating’ I guess? I just need some more information to help you out really
Also, the fact that he didn’t respond since February only supports the ideas above, it sounds like he’s just really shy or inexperienced.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know he hasn't met someone else. he would have mentioned it in our last chat. But I dont know. it's not like he doesnt come online, he spends at least once a day on YH even if it is for less than an hour
I’m not sure how you can ask him if he is seeing anyone else without it being awkward lol. Maybe avoid asking him about this.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Joel746)
I’m not sure how you can ask him if he is seeing anyone else without it being awkward lol. Maybe avoid asking him about this.
He puts effort into the conversation it's not that he doesnt ask questions or keep it going. he does. it's just that he is never the one to message first, but once I do contact him hes always wanting to chat.

lol hes 27 and I'm 22. Definitely isnt his first time dating, and he is introverted but I dont think that has much to do with this.

again he does respond to me. What I meant was hes never the first one to say "Hi".

lol I know he isnt seeing anyone because I asked him about tinder and he mentioned he got no matches haha
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He puts effort into the conversation it's not that he doesnt ask questions or keep it going. he does. it's just that he is never the one to message first, but once I do contact him hes always wanting to chat.

lol hes 27 and I'm 22. Definitely isnt his first time dating, and he is introverted but I dont think that has much to do with this.

again he does respond to me. What I meant was hes never the first one to say "Hi".

lol I know he isnt seeing anyone because I asked him about tinder and he mentioned he got no matches haha
Ok, it’s funny because this always happens to me when I message girls, I always have to be the first to say hi lol, it really sucks.
The reason I asked if he is introverted is because (and I don’t mean any offence) they have less experience in social situations and they can sometimes struggle to speak to people, which is why I’m worried he might just be quite shy to message you. But if it isn’t his first time dating then I’m not sure really.
Just to check? Do you want a relationship with him? A big sign that someone is interested in you is if they delete their dating apps like Tinder. The fact that he still has this shows that he is looking for someone, so if you want to be with him you need to act quickly really.
Let me know soon because I’m tired and I want to sleep haha.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Joel746)
Ok, it’s funny because this always happens to me when I message girls, I always have to be the first to say hi lol, it really sucks.
The reason I asked if he is introverted is because (and I don’t mean any offence) they have less experience in social situations and they can sometimes struggle to speak to people, which is why I’m worried he might just be quite shy to message you. But if it isn’t his first time dating then I’m not sure really.
Just to check? Do you want a relationship with him? A big sign that someone is interested in you is if they delete their dating apps like Tinder. The fact that he still has this shows that he is looking for someone, so if you want to be with him you need to act quickly really.
Let me know soon because I’m tired and I want to sleep haha.
He has tried to ask for my WhatsApp so we can ring each other and I refused because I freaked out. lol I've never met someone online and then start chatting to them properly and I got nervous. Though he has flirted a few times too, and I know he would or at least would have been open to it if I had said we could get to know each other and see where things go. but I always told him we are friends, and asked about his love life as a friend supporting him being with other women.

I recently, very recently may have developed a crush. but I'm not looking for anything from this. I'm just a but hurt he hasn't bothered to message me as much because I was actually good friends with him and developed a good relationship with him out of all this. It hurts to know he hasn't bothered anymore
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Anonymous #1
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he did use to message first. like I would say it use to be an equal amount of him messaging me first, but I also would message him every now and then. So it use to be both of us equally messaging first.

He said he didnt mind that i didnt give him my number, and carried on as usual for the first few times. like messaged me first but after a while here we are.
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He has tried to ask for my WhatsApp so we can ring each other and I refused because I freaked out. lol I've never met someone online and then start chatting to them properly and I got nervous. Though he has flirted a few times too, and I know he would or at least would have been open to it if I had said we could get to know each other and see where things go. but I always told him we are friends, and asked about his love life as a friend supporting him being with other women.

I recently, very recently may have developed a crush. but I'm not looking for anything from this. I'm just a but hurt he hasn't bothered to message me as much because I was actually good friends with him and developed a good relationship with him out of all this. It hurts to know he hasn't bothered anymore
Maybe he is just really busy and occupied with other things? This really sucks and I feel really bad for you, I’m here if you need to talk to me about anything
I can see why you refused to let him call you, but have you ever done anything like a video chat or anything? Just checking because you need to be safe and make sure he is who he says he is.
Anyways, maybe you should consider calling him at some point. It can be a great way to talk and you can express things better, it’s hard to explain lol but it’s much better than texting.
The fact you have told him in the past that you are friends may have him thinking he’s in the friend zone? If this is the case, that may be why he is losing interest?
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he did use to message first. like I would say it use to be an equal amount of him messaging me first, but I also would message him every now and then. So it use to be both of us equally messaging first.

He said he didnt mind that i didnt give him my number, and carried on as usual for the first few times. like messaged me first but after a while here we are.
Hmm, this is odd really. Maybe he was a little hurt about the number thing, but I’m unsure. Maybe he doesn’t feel he has much in common? It can be really hard to start a conversation if you don’t actually know what to talk about, maybe this is his issue?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Joel746)
Maybe he is just really busy and occupied with other things? This really sucks and I feel really bad for you, I’m here if you need to talk to me about anything
I can see why you refused to let him call you, but have you ever done anything like a video chat or anything? Just checking because you need to be safe and make sure he is who he says he is.
Anyways, maybe you should consider calling him at some point. It can be a great way to talk and you can express things better, it’s hard to explain lol but it’s much better than texting.
The fact you have told him in the past that you are friends may have him thinking he’s in the friend zone? If this is the case, that may be why he is losing interest?
he is definitely who he said he is. lol trust me, I wouldnt be wasting my time talking to him for this long and getting some what attached if I didnt know for sure that he is who he says.

Maybe he is busy but when I messaged him he didnt really mention anything about being busy, or anhtbjbg different about work.

thanks for your help I do appreciate the chat
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he is definitely who he said he is. lol trust me, I wouldnt be wasting my time talking to him for this long and getting some what attached if I didnt know for sure that he is who he says.

Maybe he is busy but when I messaged him he didnt really mention anything about being busy, or anhtbjbg different about work.

thanks for your help I do appreciate the chat
I’m happy to talk Just wanted to check about knowing who he is, sometimes there are some bad people out there and I don’t want to be suggesting for you to meet someone like that, just be careful

I’m sorry I can’t be of much more help, I’m not sure what else to suggest really. Maybe try bumping this thread tomorrow morning, there aren’t many people online at 2am lol.
Quote me in something if you have any more questions, it will send me an email and I will get back to you as soon as possible. I’m going to go to sleep now though so I will see if I can think of anything else tomorrow.
All the best, and stay safe with the Coronavirus
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Joel746)
I’m happy to talk Just wanted to check about knowing who he is, sometimes there are some bad people out there and I don’t want to be suggesting for you to meet someone like that, just be careful

I’m sorry I can’t be of much more help, I’m not sure what else to suggest really. Maybe try bumping this thread tomorrow morning, there aren’t many people online at 2am lol.
Quote me in something if you have any more questions, it will send me an email and I will get back to you as soon as possible. I’m going to go to sleep now though so I will see if I can think of anything else tomorrow.
All the best, and stay safe with the Coronavirus
How do I bump a thread? lol I have no clue.

have a goodnight. Stay safe.
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do I bump a thread? lol I have no clue.

have a goodnight. Stay safe.
Just post something in it tomorrow morning, it should put it into the ‘latest’ section on the homepage I think. Honestly I’m fairly new to TSR, but I think that’s how it works

All the best, I will check back tomorrow at some point
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Joel746)
Just post something in it tomorrow morning, it should put it into the ‘latest’ section on the homepage I think. Honestly I’m fairly new to TSR, but I think that’s how it works

All the best, I will check back tomorrow at some point
Well, I spoke to him yesterday night, and honestly I feel like this time it was me putting in the effort. He never gives me one word responses and always gives me something to respond to but he didnt always respond to everything I said. Normally we do message each other a lot of things at once that's just our messaging style but he didnt seem with it.

I literally sent him stuff about my childhood in detail because we often talk about these things, like he was talking about his dad and all. anyway the first time he didnt respond, and the second time I spoke about something else similar in detail. like a paragraph worth he didnt respond. after an hour I messaged him "anyway goodnight, stay safe. you seem occupied" and he responded in 2 minutes with "Goodnight! Yeah, sorry I'm down for bed." which sounded so rude to me
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
anyway the first time he didnt respond, and the second time I spoke about something else similar in detail. like a paragraph worth he didnt respond. after an hour I messaged him "anyway goodnight, stay safe. you seem occupied" and he responded in 2 minutes with "Goodnight! Yeah, sorry I'm down for bed." which sounded so rude to me
That sounds confusing again. basically I sent him three messages at once because like I said we talk about a lot in one go. and he didnt respond to my second message about the childhood thing but responded to the first and third message. Basically ignoring the second one.

When I sent something else to do with my childhood which was the message after, he didnt respond at all for an hour and that's when I said goodnight and then he responded with that.
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Anonymous #1
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i then responded to his reply that had offended me quite a bit, and wrote back "If you dont want to talk you can just say so. I would appreciate it lol take care"

So that was all last night after I spoke to you.

this morning he responded with "I'm sorry I wanted to talk, but I got a phone call." and then he also responded to my childhood message and a few other things we spoke about.

anyway I responded to him with "Do you actually? because you haven't bothered to message first for a while. I'm not complaining to you. I'm just trying to understand if you still want to and if not it really is ok"

and he said "Yeah I'm not really good about that. Even with all this buzz about the virus, everyone is calling me to check in. I've not made time to call anyone. But yeah, I know it's been a long time. I still am happy to hear from you"
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Joel746
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i then responded to his reply that had offended me quite a bit, and wrote back "If you dont want to talk you can just say so. I would appreciate it lol take care"

So that was all last night after I spoke to you.

this morning he responded with "I'm sorry I wanted to talk, but I got a phone call." and then he also responded to my childhood message and a few other things we spoke about.

anyway I responded to him with "Do you actually? because you haven't bothered to message first for a while. I'm not complaining to you. I'm just trying to understand if you still want to and if not it really is ok"

and he said "Yeah I'm not really good about that. Even with all this buzz about the virus, everyone is calling me to check in. I've not made time to call anyone. But yeah, I know it's been a long time. I still am happy to hear from you"
Ok, I’ve read through all of this and it sounds like he is still interested in keeping you as a friend, but I’m not getting ‘relationship vibes’ really.
Well done for confronting him about it in a respectful way, it’s good to do it like you did as it’s less likely to start an argument. At least he responded to the questions that he failed to respond to? Honestly if you were messaging him after I answered your questions that must have been at about 2:30 am lol, so it doesn’t really surprise me that he was ready for bed. Do you usually talk this late? Perhaps this could be a problem.

You said he responded to the first and third message, so that’s good really. Maybe he just didn’t want to talk about the second message with you? Has this happened before or is this new?
It is possible that he was just tired, and if sending paragraphs is what you usually do then that shouldn’t be a problem. Usually it’s best to keep texts a little shorter, then you can leave those sorts of conversations for when you actually go out on a date.

I hope this helps, send me another message if you need me but I might not be online for a short while.
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