Feel so alone and worthless, what to do?

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bioenthusiast
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Hi, bit of a sad rant here

I’m a 21 year old guy, in second year of uni. I feel SO alone and worthless. I don’t have any proper uni friends and it makes me feel like ****. The fact that uni, such a big place, is awful for me. The friends I made in freshers just drifted away from me and I don’t understand why. It’s played on my mind ever since. I don’t know why. I’m a likeable person. I’m nice, never rude, funny (well I think so, people tell me I’m funny) and loyal to friends. Going into final year and don’t even have anyone to live with. I’ll either get a studio or commute, both are very depressing tbh because uni is meant to be a place of socialisation and fun. Everyone around me loves uni and I hate it. I don’t know why this happened to me but I dwell on it so much and cry in my room.
Pathetic for a 21 year old guy, I know.

My friends from back home are drifting away slowly too and everyone has their own lives. I’ve also never had a girlfriend or even a romantic interest of some sort, which is ****ing pathetic at my age. I’m not even that ugly (well, I don’t think so), I’m 6’4 too (not that height matters) and I’m not a bad person. I have no confidence to talk to girls romantically because I’ve been bullied in the past, and I feel worthless. I’ll probably never find anyone, and I hate myself.

I hate my life honestly. I want to get out of this rut. I am worried I have depression. But I genuinely think this will never get my life. I hate this so much. I’m going nowhere in life. I just hate everything and want some advice. Being lonely is awful.
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JMR2020.
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(Original post by bioenthusiast)
Hi, bit of a sad rant here

I’m a 21 year old guy, in second year of uni. I feel SO alone and worthless. I don’t have any proper uni friends and it makes me feel like ****. The fact that uni, such a big place, is awful for me. The friends I made in freshers just drifted away from me and I don’t understand why. It’s played on my mind ever since. I don’t know why. I’m a likeable person. I’m nice, never rude, funny (well I think so, people tell me I’m funny) and loyal to friends. Going into final year and don’t even have anyone to live with. I’ll either get a studio or commute, both are very depressing tbh because uni is meant to be a place of socialisation and fun. Everyone around me loves uni and I hate it. I don’t know why this happened to me but I dwell on it so much and cry in my room.
Pathetic for a 21 year old guy, I know.

My friends from back home are drifting away slowly too and everyone has their own lives. I’ve also never had a girlfriend or even a romantic interest of some sort, which is ****ing pathetic at my age. I’m not even that ugly (well, I don’t think so), I’m 6’4 too (not that height matters) and I’m not a bad person. I have no confidence to talk to girls romantically because I’ve been bullied in the past, and I feel worthless. I’ll probably never find anyone, and I hate myself.

I hate my life honestly. I want to get out of this rut. I am worried I have depression. But I genuinely think this will never get my life. I hate this so much. I’m going nowhere in life. I just hate everything and want some advice. Being lonely is awful.
Not pathetic to feel that way, and especially important to let it out.
IMHO, you are attaching your happiness to other people/how they treat you. It’s 100% understandable why you feel this way but realise that your self of worth should come from within, and that relying on others to provide you with this will never satiate this. Even people who are extraordinarily talented, and have many friends feel depression.
Regardless, my DMs are open if you need a chat
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Obolinda
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:console:
I've moved your thread to a more relevant section
Last edited by Obolinda; 1 week ago
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ForestShadow
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Right now theres not a lot you can do due to the lockdown but when uni starts again eventually try societies more . I didnt have any close friends until I joined a few sports and ethnic societies and then I made some of my closest friends there. You dont even have to have played the sport before or be good at it, you can be a complete beginner and its still fun just to meet people and try something new what about your coursemates too, do they study in groups or have a study group chat?
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MoonlightRain
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This was sad to read😔 I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I completely understand. I know it’s difficult but you got to really start with the root problem which is the bullying and maybe get a therapy for that. Bullying can impact your self confidence and communication skills. I was a loner for quite a few years thinking I would never make a friend and it was a dark time but I eventually did because I started to believe I can. It might be corny but it all starts with believing that you can make friends. Believing that you’re so so so valuable and that you’re needed. You’re definitely not worthless, try not to base your self worth on having friends or not. You just haven’t met them yet but they’re coming. Don’t give up...
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ihsan99
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(Original post by bioenthusiast)
Hi, bit of a sad rant here

I’m a 21 year old guy, in second year of uni. I feel SO alone and worthless. I don’t have any proper uni friends and it makes me feel like ****. The fact that uni, such a big place, is awful for me. The friends I made in freshers just drifted away from me and I don’t understand why. It’s played on my mind ever since. I don’t know why. I’m a likeable person. I’m nice, never rude, funny (well I think so, people tell me I’m funny) and loyal to friends. Going into final year and don’t even have anyone to live with. I’ll either get a studio or commute, both are very depressing tbh because uni is meant to be a place of socialisation and fun. Everyone around me loves uni and I hate it. I don’t know why this happened to me but I dwell on it so much and cry in my room.
Pathetic for a 21 year old guy, I know.

My friends from back home are drifting away slowly too and everyone has their own lives. I’ve also never had a girlfriend or even a romantic interest of some sort, which is ****ing pathetic at my age. I’m not even that ugly (well, I don’t think so), I’m 6’4 too (not that height matters) and I’m not a bad person. I have no confidence to talk to girls romantically because I’ve been bullied in the past, and I feel worthless. I’ll probably never find anyone, and I hate myself.

I hate my life honestly. I want to get out of this rut. I am worried I have depression. But I genuinely think this will never get my life. I hate this so much. I’m going nowhere in life. I just hate everything and want some advice. Being lonely is awful.
I know what self hatred feels like coupled with being at uni and feeling alone and not having much of a sexual history. YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC, even if your brain tells you that you are. YOU ARE AWESOME will hopefully be the automatic thinking that you experience one day. If you are looking for friends, try this app called meetup or attend university societies that you are interested in (preferably when distancing measures end obvs). I think what you are experiencing is depression, self hatred, possibly trauma and isolation? (correct me if wrong). When you get the chance try bachatta classes or other sensual dances where you can be upclose and personal with beautiful women who will scare you at first but you get to explore healthily interacting with women and gain some confidence.Of course I am going to recommend therapy and possibly your uni might even provide therapy for free as you are a student there and am honestly so sorry to hear of your bullying experiences; I had the same thing man and it affects my confidence to this day. None of that stuff was your fault and you interacted with some people possibly who just aren't very nice people. That stuff I'm still recovering from. but yh the therapy, meetup, and dancing might be of help to you if you choose to go down this route. You are worthy of respect, regardless of how others chose to treat you in the past and even how you decided to treat yourself!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bioenthusiast)
Hi, bit of a sad rant here

I’m a 21 year old guy, in second year of uni. I feel SO alone and worthless. I don’t have any proper uni friends and it makes me feel like ****. The fact that uni, such a big place, is awful for me. The friends I made in freshers just drifted away from me and I don’t understand why. It’s played on my mind ever since. I don’t know why. I’m a likeable person. I’m nice, never rude, funny (well I think so, people tell me I’m funny) and loyal to friends. Going into final year and don’t even have anyone to live with. I’ll either get a studio or commute, both are very depressing tbh because uni is meant to be a place of socialisation and fun. Everyone around me loves uni and I hate it. I don’t know why this happened to me but I dwell on it so much and cry in my room.
Pathetic for a 21 year old guy, I know.

My friends from back home are drifting away slowly too and everyone has their own lives. I’ve also never had a girlfriend or even a romantic interest of some sort, which is ****ing pathetic at my age. I’m not even that ugly (well, I don’t think so), I’m 6’4 too (not that height matters) and I’m not a bad person. I have no confidence to talk to girls romantically because I’ve been bullied in the past, and I feel worthless. I’ll probably never find anyone, and I hate myself.

I hate my life honestly. I want to get out of this rut. I am worried I have depression. But I genuinely think this will never get my life. I hate this so much. I’m going nowhere in life. I just hate everything and want some advice. Being lonely is awful.
I’m so sorry you are going through this, please try and talk to someone at your uni, family or someone that you trust about how you are feeling. I can relate to almost everything you said. Try and join some groups and societies as a way of meeting new people when uni starts again, I know it’s not easy but you might find some of your best friends!. As for what you said about not being in a relationship don’t try and force it your still young and you’ll meet someone - keep your head up high. Don’t think your worthless, your worth is not defined by the amount of friends you have.
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c.jones1509
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(Original post by bioenthusiast)
Hi, bit of a sad rant here

I’m a 21 year old guy, in second year of uni. I feel SO alone and worthless. I don’t have any proper uni friends and it makes me feel like ****. The fact that uni, such a big place, is awful for me. The friends I made in freshers just drifted away from me and I don’t understand why. It’s played on my mind ever since. I don’t know why. I’m a likeable person. I’m nice, never rude, funny (well I think so, people tell me I’m funny) and loyal to friends. Going into final year and don’t even have anyone to live with. I’ll either get a studio or commute, both are very depressing tbh because uni is meant to be a place of socialisation and fun. Everyone around me loves uni and I hate it. I don’t know why this happened to me but I dwell on it so much and cry in my room.
Pathetic for a 21 year old guy, I know.

My friends from back home are drifting away slowly too and everyone has their own lives. I’ve also never had a girlfriend or even a romantic interest of some sort, which is ****ing pathetic at my age. I’m not even that ugly (well, I don’t think so), I’m 6’4 too (not that height matters) and I’m not a bad person. I have no confidence to talk to girls romantically because I’ve been bullied in the past, and I feel worthless. I’ll probably never find anyone, and I hate myself.

I hate my life honestly. I want to get out of this rut. I am worried I have depression. But I genuinely think this will never get my life. I hate this so much. I’m going nowhere in life. I just hate everything and want some advice. Being lonely is awful.
I'm sorry you're struggling like this :/ however you should know that it's completely fine to feel the way that you are- and not pathetic AT ALL!! It sounds like the whole university atmosphere is the main thing getting you down, it must get very lonely to be living the way you are. Maybe it would be worth joining a society during the last year? Having a common interest with others is a good conversation starting point and may lead to you making more connections and enjoying uni life a bit more. Honestly, if it's making you this miserable then you don't HAVE to do the last year- you need to do what's best for you! It may be worth talking to someone you're close to about how you're feeling. Although, from personal experience i always found it easier to talk to someone who doesn't know me personally. If that's something you'd like then feel free to drop me a private message at any time! I'm happy to talk about how you're feeling or even just a general convo to make you feel less alone. You will get through this!
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