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Extremely needy friend- What to do?

So basically one of my friends who has a disability gave this girl who also has a disability that I had only met a few times my number. I think I kind of accidentally agreed to it without realising what she was actually saying. Basically I’m trying to finish off my school work in quarantine as I have a lot of it to do and want to get it done as soon as possible. I also have other commitments and things I have to do even during the quarantine. Over two days I literally had over 50 missed calls and messages from this girl that my friend gave her number to which has really took a toll on me. I know it sounds rather selfish but I don’t have the time to answer them all and I’ve tried to explain to her that I have lots of things to do and I can’t talk to her right now but she doesn’t seem to understand. I don’t even know what disability this girl has and like I said I barely know her and she keeps sending me messages like ‘Hi BFF” and all this. She was also trying to invite me to all these things after the quarantine and like I don’t even know her. Like I understand that she might be lonely but I’m unsure of what to do about the whole situation. I don’t want to put my friend in the middle of the situation but at the same time I can’t let this girl carry messaging and call me as much as she has been. I’ve tried muting conversations or leaving groups created by her but it never seems to work. The other girl just creates another group chat and doesn’t seem to get the message that I can’t talk or message her constantly. I was considering blocking the girl but I don’t know if that’s too extreme. Like I said I don’t want tot put my friend in the middle. If anyone could help me with what I should do I would be really appreciative. Thanks.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
So basically one of my friends who has a disability gave this girl who also has a disability that I had only met a few times my number. I think I kind of accidentally agreed to it without realising what she was actually saying. Basically I’m trying to finish off my school work in quarantine as I have a lot of it to do and want to get it done as soon as possible. I also have other commitments and things I have to do even during the quarantine. Over two days I literally had over 50 missed calls and messages from this girl that my friend gave her number to which has really took a toll on me. I know it sounds rather selfish but I don’t have the time to answer them all and I’ve tried to explain to her that I have lots of things to do and I can’t talk to her right now but she doesn’t seem to understand. I don’t even know what disability this girl has and like I said I barely know her and she keeps sending me messages like ‘Hi BFF” and all this. She was also trying to invite me to all these things after the quarantine and like I don’t even know her. Like I understand that she might be lonely but I’m unsure of what to do about the whole situation. I don’t want to put my friend in the middle of the situation but at the same time I can’t let this girl carry messaging and call me as much as she has been. I’ve tried muting conversations or leaving groups created by her but it never seems to work. The other girl just creates another group chat and doesn’t seem to get the message that I can’t talk or message her constantly. I was considering blocking the girl but I don’t know if that’s too extreme. Like I said I don’t want tot put my friend in the middle. If anyone could help me with what I should do I would be really appreciative. Thanks.

It’s a tricky situation you have here because on the one hand you don’t want to drop your mate in the poop and cause upset to him and you also dont want to be an A-hole to this girl.

If I’m going to be really honest here you are either going to have to be just straight up with them and say look please go away I don’t want you constantly messaging me or you are going to have to block them.

About the disability thing, it shouldn’t matter. Harassment is harassment.
Reply 2
Block their number and focus on your schoolwork and your other commitments. She’s too needy and clingy which just sours a friendship. She’s victimising herself and emotionally abusing you to make you feel guilty because she has labelled herself as “disability” and “special needs”, which you never asked for nor deserve. Block her and move on.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
So basically one of my friends who has a disability gave this girl who also has a disability that I had only met a few times my number. I think I kind of accidentally agreed to it without realising what she was actually saying. Basically I’m trying to finish off my school work in quarantine as I have a lot of it to do and want to get it done as soon as possible. I also have other commitments and things I have to do even during the quarantine. Over two days I literally had over 50 missed calls and messages from this girl that my friend gave her number to which has really took a toll on me. I know it sounds rather selfish but I don’t have the time to answer them all and I’ve tried to explain to her that I have lots of things to do and I can’t talk to her right now but she doesn’t seem to understand. I don’t even know what disability this girl has and like I said I barely know her and she keeps sending me messages like ‘Hi BFF” and all this. She was also trying to invite me to all these things after the quarantine and like I don’t even know her. Like I understand that she might be lonely but I’m unsure of what to do about the whole situation. I don’t want to put my friend in the middle of the situation but at the same time I can’t let this girl carry messaging and call me as much as she has been. I’ve tried muting conversations or leaving groups created by her but it never seems to work. The other girl just creates another group chat and doesn’t seem to get the message that I can’t talk or message her constantly. I was considering blocking the girl but I don’t know if that’s too extreme. Like I said I don’t want tot put my friend in the middle. If anyone could help me with what I should do I would be really appreciative. Thanks.

Yes, you should block her. You never asked for all this attention, and you didn't even give her your number.

The needy girl sounds bored, maybe? It seems to have been escalated way beyond anyone's comfort zone.

Just because you are in quarantine, it doesn't mean you have nothing to do. She should have respected that, and she doesn't.

So turn away from her.
Reply 4
Original post by Deggs_14
Block their number and focus on your schoolwork and your other commitments. She’s too needy and clingy which just sours a friendship. She’s victimising herself and emotionally abusing you to make you feel guilty because she has labelled herself as “disability” and “special needs”, which you never asked for nor deserve. Block her and move on.

Thank you so much for your response, it was really helpful.
Reply 5
Original post by Gillzy
It’s a tricky situation you have here because on the one hand you don’t want to drop your mate in the poop and cause upset to him and you also dont want to be an A-hole to this girl.

If I’m going to be really honest here you are either going to have to be just straight up with them and say look please go away I don’t want you constantly messaging me or you are going to have to block them.

About the disability thing, it shouldn’t matter. Harassment is harassment.

Thank you very much for your help.
Reply 6
Original post by Oxford Mum
Yes, you should block her. You never asked for all this attention, and you didn't even give her your number.

The needy girl sounds bored, maybe? It seems to have been escalated way beyond anyone's comfort zone.

Just because you are in quarantine, it doesn't mean you have nothing to do. She should have respected that, and she doesn't.

So turn away from her.

That is really helpful, thank you so much.
Original post by Anonymous
That is really helpful, thank you so much.

Good. You don't have to feel guilty about it, either.

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