Rant... But Help?

I was going to post this anon, but I'm not going to bother. And sorry for the rant. I'll try and keep it short

Well I'm just completely fed up with men and everything about them! 4/5 months ago, me and my boyfriend split up. He started going out with this girl that I told him to stay away from while we were going out, which obviously made me feel like crap. Since then, he's told me that he loves me, and that he's going to leave her for me, which then moved onto he was really happy, and then more recently that he was going to leave her and be single for a while. When we split up one of my friends came onto me, and we got together as "sex buddys". I was really fine with the no-strings thing, and even though we were in a group of only about 20 of us (and only 7 girls) it seemed to work out fine.

Then I met this guy and I completely fell for him. Then I went on holiday, and it was about a month later, when I saw him again he wasn't interested anymore, I was gutted. Then I got back together with my sex buddy, but it all got a little complicated; he was getting really annoying with his random comments. So I eventually (two days ago) said that I didn't want things to go on. I was starting to get attached anyway, so it was all for the best.

So last night, I went for a mini-night out and got talking to one of my best male friends. He told me that this sex buddy, actually fancies my best friend. I was really taken aback, and it really felt like a slap in the face. It felt like I wasn't good enough for a relationship, yet she is? I really felt like second best. All the boys in my group also have this complete fascination with this girl. I get really annoyed with this girl too, as she's the type of girl that NEVER talks to girls, and even with the boys, its apparently a struggle to have a conversation... so I don't get the fascination, which makes it even worse that this guy falls for her, because I don't quite get why I'm NOT good enough (sorry for being big headed). Also I always find myself comparing myself to her, but that just really causes an incredibly bad self image as she is INCREDIBLY skinny (to the point of losing her periods for roughly a year or so) and I know I can never compare to that.

Why do I only attract complete weirdos? I mean, I didn't think the sex buddy would fall for me or anything, but why am I always second best? I've been left by my ex for a girl, then left by the second guy cos he wasn't interested, and then the sex buddy would much prefer one of my best friends!?! And then to top it all off, I get constantly told that I'm not that attractive?! Help me? Anyone else just feel like they only attract these strange kinds of men?

Sorry for the rant :frown:

Reply 1

Melting Sugar.

14

I don't want this to sound rude at all but

if you become sex buddys with a guy and give him no strings attached sex then he'll think he can do what he likes and treat you how he likes because its 'no strings attached'

whereas if your friend isn't one to sleep with anyone (as in the in sex buddy sense) then she might appear more appealing because they'll have to work for it..

i'm sure you'll find someone in the end, but maybe the sex buddy guy wasn't the right guy and this is a good thing, if a guy doesn't want to start a relationship with you but will USE you for sex only then that really shouldn't be a guy you want to be with..

Reply 2

Bear_Grylls

19

What do you want help with? another sex buddy?

Reply 3

Lithium

13

linkdapink

I was going to post this anon, but I'm not going to bother. And sorry for the rant. I'll try and keep it short

Well I'm just completely fed up with men and everything about them! 4/5 months ago, me and my boyfriend split up. He started going out with this girl that I told him to stay away from while we were going out, which obviously made me feel like crap. Since then, he's told me that he loves me, and that he's going to leave her for me, which then moved onto he was really happy, and then more recently that he was going to leave her and be single for a while. When we split up one of my friends came onto me, and we got together as "sex buddys". I was really fine with the no-strings thing, and even though we were in a group of only about 20 of us (and only 7 girls) it seemed to work out fine.

Then I met this guy and I completely fell for him. Then I went on holiday, and it was about a month later, when I saw him again he wasn't interested anymore, I was gutted. Then I got back together with my sex buddy, but it all got a little complicated; he was getting really annoying with his random comments. So I eventually (two days ago) said that I didn't want things to go on. I was starting to get attached anyway, so it was all for the best.

So last night, I went for a mini-night out and got talking to one of my best male friends. He told me that this sex buddy, actually fancies my best friend. I was really taken aback, and it really felt like a slap in the face. It felt like I wasn't good enough for a relationship, yet she is? I really felt like second best. All the boys in my group also have this complete fascination with this girl. I get really annoyed with this girl too, as she's the type of girl that NEVER talks to girls, and even with the boys, its apparently a struggle to have a conversation... so I don't get the fascination, which makes it even worse that this guy falls for her, because I don't quite get why I'm NOT good enough (sorry for being big headed). Also I always find myself comparing myself to her, but that just really causes an incredibly bad self image as she is INCREDIBLY skinny (to the point of losing her periods for roughly a year or so) and I know I can never compare to that.

Why do I only attract complete weirdos? I mean, I didn't think the sex buddy would fall for me or anything, but why am I always second best? I've been left by my ex for a girl, then left by the second guy cos he wasn't interested, and then the sex buddy would much prefer one of my best friends!?! And then to top it all off, I get constantly told that I'm not that attractive?! Help me? Anyone else just feel like they only attract these strange kinds of men?

Sorry for the rant :frown:

Don't worry about Ranting :smile:

Let it out :smile:

Look, i think that the "hard to get" girl is always more fun. It's the chase that is usually the most exciting part of a relationship, right? Now, that is not to say that you are easy, you are just yourself, perhaps normal?

You were saying that she doesn't ever talk to girls, and always with the guys (lets put her speech issues aside for a moment, ok :p:

), perhaps she is the kind of girl that seeks that kind of attention, only wants the guys, you now what I mean? As in she has gotten herself a "reputation" and guys like that sometimes.

And why compare? Look, Misery likes company right? I broke up with my fiance' that I had been committed to for just over 2 years. What does she do? Goes for my best friend, and then the same drama that you described. Some people are like that.

Comparing yourself to someone who you are not like can make you feel down, incompetent, or that you're falling "seconds" as you said, but you really can't compare apples and oranges. You can chose which one you are :p:

I really hope that helps (reply longer than OP? :p:

)
AH

Reply 4

Aconite

17

So you were sex buddies with a guy, split up with him, and are now upset that he's romantically interested in your skinny pal?

Next time, make sure he's interested in you before you shag him.

Reply 5

Lithium

13

Well OP, the other posters have a good point. Your attitude isn't helping, but I'm still sticking to my reply :p:

Reply 6

Sulk

get some fat ugly friends and hang around with them all the time... you'll be the most popular :tongue:

Reply 7

Lithium

13

hmm, I wonder where the OP went?

Reply 8

Lalli

i think becoming a sex budy was a big mistake, but tbh he doesnt seem worth it, if he fancies ya best friend leave him to it, you move on and find someone better 4 urself!

Reply 9

linkdapink

OP

15

Sorry my parents took me out for Lunch :smile:

!

I understand how big of a mistake the sex buddy thing was. I'm annoyed at him with this other girl, mostly because he said to me that he "wasn't looking for a relationship" - I'm not saying that he wants one with her, its just upsetting if he is. This girl is also the sex buddy's friend's ex... does that make sense? And her ex cheated on her in excess of 4 times over 3 years, and then finally slept with someone else, which ended the relationship.

I know I should leave them to it, and I am doing, its just rather upsetting that I wasn't good enough :frown:

Reply 10

usernamegoeshere

You are only "not good enough" if YOU think you are. Seriously, if someone doesn't want you, you don't want them. No one is worth feeling **** over. If someone treats you badly, don't put up with it! It is really difficult to enter a sex-only arrangement without someone getting attatched, especially if there was more than sexual attraction when the arrangement began. If sex-only is what you want right now, thats fine, but don't let yourself get hurt by giving your heart to someone who is not going to appreciate it.

Reply 11

in_vogue

3

linkdapink

Also I always find myself comparing myself to her, but that just really causes an incredibly bad self image as she is INCREDIBLY skinny (to the point of losing her periods for roughly a year or so)

Don't skinny-bash to make yourself feel better!

Reply 12

Cannonball

14

Melting Sugar.

I don't want this to sound rude at all but

if you become sex buddys with a guy and give him no strings attached sex then he'll think he can do what he likes and treat you how he likes because its 'no strings attached'

whereas if your friend isn't one to sleep with anyone (as in the in sex buddy sense) then she might appear more appealing because they'll have to work for it..

i'm sure you'll find someone in the end, but maybe the sex buddy guy wasn't the right guy and this is a good thing, if a guy doesn't want to start a relationship with you but will USE you for sex only then that really shouldn't be a guy you want to be with..

I like this reply.
Listen to it, OP.

Reply 13

linkdapink

OP

15

Erm... I posted that last August?! How come this has popped up again?!

Rant... But Help?

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