think this is appropriate?

er, pretty personal so keep anon or delete please

Well there's this girl i like but i found out she likes someone else, so i thought i'd tell her how i feel so i could get over it sooner, i sent her a formal message online saying

"Hey, I’m gonna say this now as I think it’s the best time for myself to say it since I know I have no chance, I know its unfair for you to see this but I don’t want to wait and think to myself, “just maybe”, by telling I think I can move on sooner.
You might have figured this yourself, but I fancy you and have done for a while now, if we can’t be friends after you reading this then I understand and I promise I wont bother you.
If you feel we can still be friends after reading this, that’s good enough for me and hopefully I’ll move on. That’s all I have to say, so I’m gonna leave it to you. Sorry you had to see this."

Think it was a bit selfish of me to be doing that and maybe i should of just kept it to myself?

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

Why is that selfish? I really don't think it is, it's good you told her even if things get a bit weird from now on. Probably the very last bit "That’s all I have to say, so I’m gonna leave it to you" was a bit silly.

Reply 2

Aconite

Things are going to get weird. Just to let you know.

Reply 3

Hedger

I agree with the above, the last line was silly. It makes her think "so, he had the balls to say all this... but he's going to leave it to me? Not really a chaser now is he?". I think you'd come off as 'cute' there(which is a bad thing when you aren't going out with the girl saying it).

Also, saying all that on the phone would have been a lot easier for you... it may have put her on the spot but... there's a reason girls put guys in the 'friend zone'(if you're upfront like that... you won't be getting zoned :wink:

Reply 4

bean87

grow a pair

Reply 5

1013

Don't be so apologetic. It makes you look kind of pathetic (sorry). (I'm allowed to apologise 'cause I'm not trying to pick you up!)

Reply 6

Holty-Dave

should have told her in person

Reply 7

Double Agent

Just a wild stab in the dark here, but are you one of these 'nice' guys who never gets the girl but think you have everything to offer? Its hardly a message that says come and get me now is it. It will inevitably get weird after this. I wouldnt say its selfish at all. In the future when this sort of situation comes up, dont be the love sick puppy that never says anything at the right time. Dont be constantly apologising for yourself, its pathetic, un attractive and most of all you lose your self respect. I think your lack of sucess here isnt so much personal or a bad reflection on you, but about the way you played things.

Reply 8

DaniLorenMary

A lot of guy friends have given me this speech.

And it just makes me think 'Awww' & I get flattered.

If a guy friend was to come right in, put all his card's on the table and say 'Now what you gunna say to THAT?' I'd probably have to have him there and then.

Women want to be craved, needed and controlled (not majorly, this is bad, but take the lead I swear it'll work!)

Reply 9

gamer91

Aconite

Things are going to get weird. Just to let you know.

^^^^^

Reply 10

DamnitJanet

It´s a bitty formal, imo, but I don´t think it´s selfish! (in fact, I think it´s really brave, so well done you!)

Reply 11

Tootles

Always best to put your feelings forward from the start, I reckon. If she feels the same, then she'll say 'yes I feel the same,' and if the doesn't feel the same, then you'd probably not end up ad a couple either way.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

eh? i thought this topic was long gone.

but anyways, the message wasnt like something to get her to like me, I told her i fancy her so i can get over it quicker, it just works that way for me, but i just thought maybe it wasnt right to tell her, because although im comfortable being friends afterwards, she might not have.

But its all good now anyways, we're still good friends, seems we're back to normal.