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Gf thinks our relationship is a waste of time

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and we are more than happy. We love each other so much and legit talk every single day, always try and see each other etc. My gf and I really think like this relationship is Actually serious and it can get to the stage of marriage.

Today she messaged me and said that she loves me and cares for me but she said her family is strict and probably not allow her to marry me because I’m from a different country (she’s from Iraq and I’m Afghan). She said she loves me but thinks we’ll end up wasting time and it will not happen because her family might not let her do so.

I told her, that we should just stay together and in a few years time when the actual time comes, we just fight for it and do all we can to make sure we marry. I said we can show our parents our love was serious and we legit are here for each other. She said it’s unlikely but still agreed with me to just focus now about just staying together and when the time comes then we just fight for it. (Both 19)

Did I make the correct decision?
Should I end it?
Am I wasting time?
Is it a big risk?
What should I do?
It sounds like you both want this relationship to continue and you both care for each other a great deal. Fighting to keep hold of the one you love isn't a bad thing. You both love each other and that's something special that you shouldn't give up on just because her parents 'might' not approve. By not giving up on the relationship you could prove to her parents how much you really do care for each other.
Like any parents, they are more than likely protective of (in their eyes) their little girl, even though you are both adults.
Prove to them you are 100% serious and are there for each other, it will only strengthen your relationship not only with your girlfriend but also with her parents.

Hope this helps.
Original post by Anonymous
My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and we are more than happy. We love each other so much and legit talk every single day, always try and see each other etc. My gf and I really think like this relationship is Actually serious and it can get to the stage of marriage.

Today she messaged me and said that she loves me and cares for me but she said her family is strict and probably not allow her to marry me because I’m from a different country (she’s from Iraq and I’m Afghan). She said she loves me but thinks we’ll end up wasting time and it will not happen because her family might not let her do so.

I told her, that we should just stay together and in a few years time when the actual time comes, we just fight for it and do all we can to make sure we marry. I said we can show our parents our love was serious and we legit are here for each other. She said it’s unlikely but still agreed with me to just focus now about just staying together and when the time comes then we just fight for it. (Both 19)

Did I make the correct decision?
Should I end it?
Am I wasting time?
Is it a big risk?
What should I do?


If you're both serious about each other and want to marry each other, then yes you need to fight for it, but she needs to be 100% committed to it. Ultimately, you don't want to have her half-heartedly agree now and then in a few years she break up with you because she's too scared or unsure or whatever. Then it would be a waste of time. Have a serious chat with her about whether she is committed to fighting for your relationship.
I think you did the right thing. It's very rare to find someone you love and there is no point throwing it away just because it's not what mummy and daddy want.

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