so this is just a bit of a random rant, and yes i know iTs JuSt MuSiC but it's still important to me
so story time, i used to be like best friends with this girl for a reeeaaallly long time and we were both obsessed with this band, we would always listen to their music, and spend hours talking about how good their latest album is, and we always listened to the walking home from school together and tbh those were the happiest moments of my life - long story short she went absolutely mental at me for something that was her fault and got her friends to bully me to the point i would skip school when i actually kinda liked it, however since we started college, we’re sort of friends, but no where near as close as we used to be, her personality has completely changed, like a whole different person (not in a bad way or anything) - we’ve moved on from this, this is just context for my problem
what i’m trying to get at is ever since we stopped being friends, i could barely listen to this band again, i would always get upset, and she managed to get tickets to see them loads of times when i couldn't afford them, and she used to tease me horribly for it all the time; the main thing is i can’t even walk home the same way as i used to with her anymore as it just reminds me of all the fun we used to have, also, i still like the bands music, but i haven’t listened to their new stuff they’ve released in the past year, i tell myself it’s coz i just don’t like their new music and the fans are so annoying, but i know it’s because it makes me upset, and this sounds the most stupid, but i feel most like a fake fan when trying to listen to their music, i've still got the band's posters in my room, but i've sort of blocked anything to do with this band from every other aspect of my life
basically, what i’m trying to say is does anyone know how i can start listening to the music again and get back in the whole fandom and not have to think about the awful experiences i had at high school? like i kinda need someone to tell me how to enjoy their music again :'(
(pls don't say anything about me being friends with this girl - i know she's a horrible person and i'm not reliant on her at all anymore)