my dad is refusing me to go to uni

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reemi
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okay, my family is extremely religious and strict and my father made it clear that I cannot ABSOLUTELY CANNOT move out until I'm married (mind you he already has someone for me to marry). I have applied to all the uni's in my city and rejected from all. my plan is to go to kings college which I was accepted and went to the interview without them knowing. my parents also disowned my sister when she was 16 and I fear thats whats going to happen to me.
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Anonymous #1
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move out, get a student + maintenance loan, live your life happily ever after
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reemi
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(Original post by reemi)
okay, my family is extremely religious and strict and my father made it clear that I cannot ABSOLUTELY CANNOT move out until I'm married (mind you he already has someone for me to marry). I have applied to all the uni's in my city and rejected from all. my plan is to go to kings college which I was accepted and went to the interview without them knowing. my parents also disowned my sister when she was 16 and I fear thats whats going to happen to me.
I literally would be grateful for any advice.
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Charlie101998
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You're legally an adult by the time you go to uni. He can't stop you from doing ****. The first post is literally the best thing to do.
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BurstingBubbles
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You'll be (at least) 18 I assume so legally you can move out. Them not 'letting' or restricting you from it is a form of abuse tbh (potentially emotionally and/or financially if they're saying they won't supprt you if you move out). You can get a student loan etc to move out on. Don't let your parents control your life you'll regret it. Can you get in contact with your sister and see if she has any advice or can support you.

If your parents were to get verbally or physically abusive over this please report it asap and seek support e.g the police if needed. Good luck
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Medic_20
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(Original post by reemi)
okay, my family is extremely religious and strict and my father made it clear that I cannot ABSOLUTELY CANNOT move out until I'm married (mind you he already has someone for me to marry). I have applied to all the uni's in my city and rejected from all. my plan is to go to kings college which I was accepted and went to the interview without them knowing. my parents also disowned my sister when she was 16 and I fear thats whats going to happen to me.
Hi reemi,

Firstly, congratulations on your offer from Kings! I'm a UCL student and my boyfriend goes to Kings (he loves it!). This is such a massive achievement and I hope you can find some time to enjoy this success.

It sounds like you have a lot going on right now with the pressure you're getting from your family. You likely need more support than we can give you in this forum and perhaps it's worth accessing some external sources of support. I'm happy to send you links to some organisations that might be able to help.

I have personal experience of being in a similar situation and it's really tough but you have to put yourself first no matter how strong the pull is to please your family. If you end up coming to Kings, I run a volunteer service for members of some London universities for these sorts of social issues so if you felt you needed extra support, it would be great to meet you! You wouldn't be alone and you would have lots of support from your university.

Stay strong and feel free to send a private message to me if you want to chat more about it.
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Proxenus
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yikes.
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khayyamkiani
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Honestly, give them religious facts about how Islam, Christianity support women to be educated, by your username I suspect your muslim and in Islam women were given more rights then women and I know they don’t always listen especially if they are in a backwards mind about culture and what society will say but as long as your correct and not doing anything wrong you follow your dreams !
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hennersfl
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reemi, this must be a really scary time for you but like many have said already you need to remember that they cannot stop you from going to university.
Make the decision that will benefit you and go to the amazing uni that you have an offer for you should be really proud of yourself.
it may be worth contacting kings college and/or the student loans company to see if they can offer any reassurance or specific advice.

good luck
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Anonymous #2
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Follow your dreams or live a life of misery... you get one life.. You either break rules or get caged by them, and live a life of misery! Many of my friend were like you and they left homes for university and never looked back. Usually parents come around after a bit/few years.. but the offer for building a foundation on educations may be a once in a lifetime oportunity at such a prestigious uni.

Whatever you decide.. its your choice but remember you can't blame anyone but yourself. Wedon't choose our family.. but we choose our destiny for sure!
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RogerOxon
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(Original post by reemi)
okay, my family is extremely religious and strict and my father made it clear that I cannot ABSOLUTELY CANNOT move out until I'm married (mind you he already has someone for me to marry). I have applied to all the uni's in my city and rejected from all. my plan is to go to kings college which I was accepted and went to the interview without them knowing. my parents also disowned my sister when she was 16 and I fear thats whats going to happen to me.
Time to move out then. It will be a challenge financially, but also a big step into adulthood. Good luck, and I'm sorry that your father doesn't know what is important in life. Does your sister have somewhere that you could stay?
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Parties
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Just move out and live in the student accommodation. Your parents will likely never forgive you, but it is a price to pay for the chance of getting a somewhat decent salary.
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Journeyiris
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Hey Reemi,
Congragulations on your kings offer! That's so amazing and we are all proud of you. It's such a fantastic opportunity and obviously a top uni. I hope you go because you must have worked so hard to get there and you really deserve it. Honestly, I know how strict parents can be but please go to King's for your own sake even if it means you will get disowned. It's your life, It's your education and it's your future. You can always get a job, there are lots of bursaries, maintenance loan as well and scholarships. There are a lot of support groups as someone has mentioned in this thread. You don't need your parent's approval just listen to yourself and go where you choose. Education is not harmful. And London offers so much opportunities and since you'll be graduating from kings, there are great employment chances for you too. Good luck and believe in yourself. It's your life. xx
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Anonymous #3
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Wait if you speak to your Uni, tell them your issue say your homeless and that you have mental health issues such as depression and feel suicidal they will most likely give you free accommodation for the first year till you can sort something out !!!
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MrMusician95
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The issue is if you move out you have to make sure you don't move back. Get a loan and a part time job and that will see you through uni. But you need to make sure you have a job at graduation so you can stay moved out.
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username5195672
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idk
Last edited by username5195672; 9 months ago
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