How to find good coping mechanisms, deal with family triggers

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#1
It kind of sucks that I feel like, since young, I've had no one to support me emotionally and mentally, I had no adult figure to help me figure out how to deal with my emotions, my problems, most of my issues I've kept to myself, because, more often than not, my family was the root cause of many of my problems, and I learnt to numb it down, to downplay it, keep my emotions bottled up. But recently, after moving to uni, and thank the stars - find such golden and caring friends, they taught me that it's okay to not be okay, to feel my emotions, to talk things out with people - I've never done that before. Now that I'm back home, away from my friends, back to the environment that I grew up in, where I kept my feelings bottled, I realised that, it's hard to go back to how it was before. I miss my friends, I miss being me and feeling alive for once, because back then, with my family, I've always kept to myself, I couldn't trouble anyone, or I would trouble more people, I couldn't rely on my parents, they oftentimes made me feel worse, I can't blame them I dunno I need to let that go but - I feel like my friends know me more than my family does, and it's hard because now I don't know who to talk to, where and who to seek support from. I still have my friends who still keep in contact with me, make sure I'm okay, they ask me how I am, and they told me that they'll be there for me but I don't want to burden them anymore, especially with the virus, and now I'm just stuck. Because I want to resolve whatever that's bothering me about my family, but at the same time, I just, can't seem to get past the mental block that prevents me from interacting well with my family. I get triggered when I see them, and without any good support system back home, my mental health has deteriorated, and I need to find good coping mechanisms to help me recover. I can't seek professional help right now because my family will find out, and I really really don't want them to know, because, it's just awkward and we're just not close, they trigger my anxiety (i feel bad for this but, my family just, brings back bad memories and emotions i need to get over them somehow) I don't feel comfortable them knowing about this part of my life. At least, not yet. I feel like it'll make things worse. How do I deal with family issues while trying to find good coping mechanisms before my mental health deteriorate even more? It's never been this bad before and I'm getting scared I'm going to get sucked into a hole I can't get out of
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Report 7 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It kind of sucks that I feel like, since young, I've had no one to support me emotionally and mentally, I had no adult figure to help me figure out how to deal with my emotions, my problems, most of my issues I've kept to myself, because, more often than not, my family was the root cause of many of my problems, and I learnt to numb it down, to downplay it, keep my emotions bottled up. But recently, after moving to uni, and thank the stars - find such golden and caring friends, they taught me that it's okay to not be okay, to feel my emotions, to talk things out with people - I've never done that before. Now that I'm back home, away from my friends, back to the environment that I grew up in, where I kept my feelings bottled, I realised that, it's hard to go back to how it was before. I miss my friends, I miss being me and feeling alive for once, because back then, with my family, I've always kept to myself, I couldn't trouble anyone, or I would trouble more people, I couldn't rely on my parents, they oftentimes made me feel worse, I can't blame them I dunno I need to let that go but - I feel like my friends know me more than my family does, and it's hard because now I don't know who to talk to, where and who to seek support from. I still have my friends who still keep in contact with me, make sure I'm okay, they ask me how I am, and they told me that they'll be there for me but I don't want to burden them anymore, especially with the virus, and now I'm just stuck. Because I want to resolve whatever that's bothering me about my family, but at the same time, I just, can't seem to get past the mental block that prevents me from interacting well with my family. I get triggered when I see them, and without any good support system back home, my mental health has deteriorated, and I need to find good coping mechanisms to help me recover. I can't seek professional help right now because my family will find out, and I really really don't want them to know, because, it's just awkward and we're just not close, they trigger my anxiety (i feel bad for this but, my family just, brings back bad memories and emotions i need to get over them somehow) I don't feel comfortable them knowing about this part of my life. At least, not yet. I feel like it'll make things worse. How do I deal with family issues while trying to find good coping mechanisms before my mental health deteriorate even more? It's never been this bad before and I'm getting scared I'm going to get sucked into a hole I can't get out of
Hi there,

First and foremost, you have been so incredibly brave sharing how you feel. This takes a lot of courage.

It sounds as though your friend's are the people you turn to when things get tough and they sound as though they are incredible people to have by your side. I hear that you don't want to burden your friends, sometimes it can be useful to think - what if they were feeling how you feel now? Would you want them to turn to you? Sometimes, having this perspective can make it easier to open up.

Dealing with family issues in this environment can be really tough. Coping mechanisms can be very different for different people but having a bit of structure and routine can really help with your mental health. Maybe planning a bit of a timetable the night before each day could be really useful. If you are struggling with anxiety specifically, you can always reach out to 'No Panic' and they can support you to manage this.

You sound as though you are incredibly strong and self-aware. Hopefully these things can help you through this time.

Best Wishes,

Grace :rose:
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