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i don't now anything about myself

Or not very much anyways. I don't really know who i am or what I want. I'm an 18 year old male.

I've only ever had a few close mates and stayed with them mainly. I've never had a girlfriend.

I feel different to the youth of today, sometimes I feel I'm too mature for my age. At college everyone I meet is very chavvy.

Me as a person .... I don't know what I like other than football. I don't actually know anything about myself as a person or what I want in life.

People at my age seem to be going out with girls for the fun etc but that just does't interest me, I'm always looking for that special girl etc

I don't see the point in being with a girl if you can't envisage a long term future with them.

I don't enjoy college or my course. Every morning I wake up I get that same hangover feeling, that feeling of dread .... and that really isn't healthy. College actually makes me weirded out, there's just a strange atmosphere to it that I DESPISE.

The last 2/3 years I've really matured and that's by not mixing enough with young people as well as being too much of a mummy's boy etc

I'm one of them good guys that noone ever says a bad word about.

I just feel like my life is rotting away, I'm not enjoying myself, I hardly get invited anywhere and I can't make any plans because firstly I hardly know anyone and secondly I woulnd't actualy know what to reccomend as like I said before I'm a very simple person. I'm not particularly into films or music.

I lack confidence around people and don't feel comfortable in big groups. I find it very difficult to break the ice with people to the point where you actualy feel comfortable talking naturally around them. Alt of the people I know I feel fake around, I don't feel my natural self.

Also I spend a ridiculous amount of time inside my house, in 4 years I have had 3 people, just once come around my house each .... which would suggest that my unhappinness could be because I'm not out there experiencing life? Because I don't meet many people and don't have many friends, I don't go out, and I build up alot of mis-conceptions about life in general. Things like creating pofiles about people through Facebook and trying to distance myself further away from them.

I hope I can turn myself around at University. I don't want to feel out of my depth socially.

Reply 1

Lalli

just be urself and embrace life and dnt stress too much, we only get one chance make the most of it, compared to alot of people in the world u have a alot!

hope uni works out 4 u! x

Reply 2

Bear_Grylls

Ah you dont sound so bad, least you like football, thas the most important, things can change quite a lot at uni, least it did for me, heads up

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Gah, I went through a similar period to this a couple of years back. My life actually felt like a big blank space, I didnt really have any opinions that I could say more than one sentence on and was constantly paranoid that people thought I was boring! Luckily, I started hanging round with people who were loud and up for a laugh, and that sent my confidence straight up again for some reason!
But anyway, on the university front... there's seriously NO better time/place to reinvent your image. Plus, it does make you confident in the first few weeks because everyone wants to talk and be friendly with eachother, so you're unlikely to feel left out.
And just remember - all you need to do is pretend to be confident, even if you dont feel it, think of it as acting in a play.. You wont feel half as bad if you see it as that! Everyone love's confident people, and if you can keep it up for a couple of weeks then you will already have friends and probably more confidence than before :smile:

Reply 4

dandan

Go to uni and be whatever you want to be, uni is very liberating, no one knows of your past so you can be whoever you want to be, Just let it happen, just make sure you make an effort to meet people and socialise with people in the first few weeks but dont do anything that you feel uncomfortable with just to fit in. You will find who you are, being your age and going off to uni is not easy, i know, i did it years ago. Wish i could do it all over again.

Reply 5

magic_unicorn

Get a job, Volunteer and just generally be around people as much as you can and try new and different activities. Don't be afriad to live your life and experience things. Some will be good, others boring,bad or horrible. But unless you get out there and start seeing whats out there you won't know what you want or who you are. Don't just wait for it to happen (It wont) Be proactive and you'll get a better sense of yourself and this can only be done through challenges. But don't expect too much, too soon... Take your time and make small steps.
The idea is to talk to different types of people, of all ages etc to gain a sense of their interests, aspirations and thoughts and see what you agree with and also talking to other people helps you discover things you didn't know about yourself that have always been there. Just be as honest and open and not afraid to share your opinions, Be yourself (But you'll discover this as you go along and you'll look back at yourself now from the future and see how much you've developed)

Have fun discovering yourself

Reply 6

Redemption

Ignore everyone in here. They'll just try and project their lives upon you.

Mescaline man. You need to unwind.

Reply 7

mushoo

well.. uni is definitely a fresh start, and a good place to begin again.
but, you feel sad, and you complain that you have only a few friends, you cant break the ice, you dont like large groups, you spend lots of time at home, and your searching for tht special girl.
i think friends the key to it all. if you can manage to break that ice, and just be more comfortable around ppl, you will feel so much more at ease and you will enjoy going out with friends. this leads onto the girls (finding someone you rely like) and then from there, you wont spend time at home so much cuz you will rely want to be out with friends.
so... when you begin uni, use freshers week as an advantage, try and try and try to find friends, its gona be hard no doubt, especially if it doesnt come naturally, but everyone can change. so go for it, try hard, if you want some practice before hand, go out with your few close friends and try to make new ones out of their close friends. it all comes down to you, and how you react.. good luck

...

WHat makes us is how we think, how we react to things.

for example, two people could be in the same situation but react differently to it. if a person is out with his girlfriend say and another man eyes her up, one person might be offended and verbally challenge the other, while another could be accepting and move on. it all depends on one's personality.

i agree with the advice magic unicorn gave. Try out as many activities as possible and find something that clicks with you. We all have a special aptitude for something, and at least one activity that specially suits our own abilities. think about the Olympics for example. A 100 metre sprinter has to have a natural ability to run fast. someone not very athletic couldn't do that. Ronaldo says he wants to stay at Man U and obviously being good at football is an innate talent.