The Student Room Group

Can having another go / getting back together last?

Split with my bf about a month ago before all this coronavirus fully ramped up.

We were both finding distance and saying goodbye hard whilst he was at uni (although now he’s likely home for the summer) and I was very late coming on my period which had panicked us both loads, especially him. Only a couple of days later after we had a disagreement on the phone, he said he didn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment.

I was shocked as he’d still been initiating loads of calls, texts that week, playing me love songs, leaving nice notes for me to find yet said that his mind was made up and his head felt fried with it all. Sounded very upset on the phone, and there’s definitely nobody else. I spent ages trying to talk to him about the reasons why but he was just finding more reasons such as couldn’t see us on holiday together as we’d planned to do, etc. None of it made sense as there were no signs there and the weekend before we’d gone out with his family and all nice and normal, we were all talking about an event that was planned. We were best friends and the whole of the relationship was healthy.

I asked him what we were going to do with each other’s stuff and how he’d like to give it back - at first he said we should meet and have a coffee to do it, but then an hour later changed his mind and said it wouldn’t be a good idea and to not bother with stuff yet. It’s mainly just clothes and there’s not loads.

Over the summer we will likely be working together presuming everything has reopened by then, so will come into contact at some point. I tried to text him a couple weeks ago as we agreed to stay friends, just checking how he was getting on since uni has pretty much been closed. I do still care about him irrespective of what’s happened between us and wanted to make sure he wasn’t too stressed.

He got into conversation but was sending very short replies so I told him any further effort needed to come from him and the ball was in his court. Anyway a couple of weeks ago he messaged me as his mum had accidentally sent me a photo that was meant for someone else, just to acknowledge that. I opened the message and ignored it. Normally we’d always text but he chose to send it on snapchat which both of us rarely use - the last text message conversation we had wasn’t very nice, and also I guess on snapchat you can see how quickly someone opens something. Not heard anything since.

We’ve still got each other’s family on social media... I don’t know whether it’s wisest to delete but something tells me it’s not over. Am I being naive in this?

Has anyone had any similar situations before where it didn’t end terribly and you ended up giving it another go down the line?

Thanks in advance
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Split with my bf about a month ago before all this coronavirus fully ramped up.

We were both finding distance and saying goodbye hard whilst he was at uni (although now he’s likely home for the summer) and I was very late coming on my period which had panicked us both loads, especially him. Only a couple of days later after we had a disagreement on the phone, he said he didn’t want to be in a relationship at the moment.

I was shocked as he’d still been initiating loads of calls, texts that week, playing me love songs, leaving nice notes for me to find yet said that his mind was made up and his head felt fried with it all. Sounded very upset on the phone, and there’s definitely nobody else. I spent ages trying to talk to him about the reasons why but he was just finding more reasons such as couldn’t see us on holiday together as we’d planned to do, etc. None of it made sense as there were no signs there and the weekend before we’d gone out with his family and all nice and normal, we were all talking about an event that was planned. We were best friends and the whole of the relationship was healthy.

I asked him what we were going to do with each other’s stuff and how he’d like to give it back - at first he said we should meet and have a coffee to do it, but then an hour later changed his mind and said it wouldn’t be a good idea and to not bother with stuff yet. It’s mainly just clothes and there’s not loads.

Over the summer we will likely be working together presuming everything has reopened by then, so will come into contact at some point. I tried to text him a couple weeks ago as we agreed to stay friends, just checking how he was getting on since uni has pretty much been closed. I do still care about him irrespective of what’s happened between us and wanted to make sure he wasn’t too stressed.

He got into conversation but was sending very short replies so I told him any further effort needed to come from him and the ball was in his court. Anyway a couple of weeks ago he messaged me as his mum had accidentally sent me a photo that was meant for someone else, just to acknowledge that. I opened the message and ignored it. Normally we’d always text but he chose to send it on snapchat which both of us rarely use - the last text message conversation we had wasn’t very nice, and also I guess on snapchat you can see how quickly someone opens something. Not heard anything since.

We’ve still got each other’s family on social media... I don’t know whether it’s wisest to delete but something tells me it’s not over. Am I being naive in this?

Has anyone had any similar situations before where it didn’t end terribly and you ended up giving it another go down the line?

Thanks in advance

Maybe its just a good idea to stay friends and keep eachother on socials. If he/she is being a **** then dont bother.
Reply 2
Hi, me and my partner split up after being together for two years (he ended it) we had been arguing but it was pretty much out of the blue. Unfortunately I was living with his family at the time and had to completely start over. We spent a couple of weeks as completely no contact and then started talking again and then began meeting back up. About 4ish months later realised that we were still in love and there was just issues that we hadn't been working through that could be fixed.. we got back together, moved into our own place and just celebrated 6 years together.. it does depend on the individual but it can happen! Maybe just give him space and figure out how you feel in a few weeks.. if you still want to get back with him then initiate conversation if he doesn't get in contact before then and doesn't really reply after the break then unfortunately it could be over for good.. good luck!

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