The Student Room Group

Is it okay for my bf to get hard on a girls movie scene?

So my boyfriend lives in Canada and I live elsewhere so we’re in a long distance relationship and we were sexting. Then we were genuinely talking about how if we were together, he said we would play a romantic movie
And then he would get hard

I asked him “because of the movie?”
He said “well, yeah if there’s any intimate seen”

We talked about it for a bit and then he said something about if there’s sometime any intimate movie scene where there’s only a girl (not any couple, even there’s just the girl), and if he does get hard, I shouldn’t get offended. (He told me this all after I was asking him because we were already in the topic so I was curious)

Why would he get hard at another girl?? If she’s a bit naked and the movie scene is intimate, why’s he thinking any naughty stuff about her? Guys only get hard when they think of naughty stuff right? Or whatever the word is.

I feel extremely insecure and hurt. I want to cry and leave him but I know it’s not a good enough reason to leave him but it’s not okay according to me. He says the **** can’t be controlled and that even tho the scene may be of a girl, he won’t be getting hard CZ of the girl but Cz of the scene.

But the scene only has the girl so he’s just calling the girl the scene. This is too idk what. I don’t feel okay with this. I don’t find it acceptable for me. As in my feelings can’t accept that. He tells me he only finds me attractive and all, then why would he get hard at another girl coming up on a movie? Not okay for me I feel too insecure, help. If I leave he would just lie and say “okay it won’t happen I didn’t mean it”
And he would anyway convince me to stay and I love him so I can’t leave him but I can’t accept this, just not with him 😭
Everyone’s okay with different things, I don’t find my self okay with this...

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Sorry but you sound crazy. He's not your boyfriend if you've never met.
He's just an over-excited teenage boy! This is normal. Sometimes you don't even need any trigger at all. Once he becomes more of a man random erections are far less common.
Reply 3
Original post by Bang Outta Order
Sorry but you sound crazy. He's not your boyfriend if you've never met.


We have met, we went to the same school.... now he’s in uni that’s why it’s a long distant relationship now.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
He's just an over-excited teenage boy! This is normal. Sometimes you don't even need any trigger at all. Once he becomes more of a man random erections are far less common.


But doesn’t it hurt to know if ur bf’s mind is wandering towards other girls? Don’t you only get erections If your mind wanders towards things about someone once you do see someone:frown:
If you think that kind of thing isn't fairly normal, even in married couples, then you'll be disappointed.
Original post by Anonymous
Don’t you only get erections If your mind wanders towards things about someone once you do see someone:frown:

Firstly, not for a teenage boy no.

Secondly, you can't just control your thoughts like that. Sometimes you see someone and for the first half a second you are thinking about how that person is attractive. That doesn't mean anything, you can't just stop that. If you don't want to know about it then fine - once your boy develops the physical evidence of it won't be present. But you can't stop it from happening at all.
Please tell me you’re joking. As well as sounding psycho and crazy you’re displaying basic ignorance of male biology. We don’t just get hard when we think of sexy things, erections are often involuntary and a single second of stimulus (visual, physical, auditory) can trigger them. It’s frankly insane that you expect him to somehow be able to suppress his boners for anyone except you. Being in a relationship doesn’t make you blind and doesn’t impair your ability to find other people attractive.

If my girlfriend said to me what you’re saying I’d probably leave her as I deserve so much better than that.
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 8
uh, lots of women in relationships find actors in movies attractive
Reply 9
You're right, you are insecure. Being aroused to other things doesn't have to mean he's not attracted to you.
Original post by Anonymous
So my boyfriend lives in Canada and I live elsewhere so we’re in a long distance relationship and we were sexting. Then we were genuinely talking about how if we were together, he said we would play a romantic movie
And then he would get hard

I asked him “because of the movie?”
He said “well, yeah if there’s any intimate seen”

We talked about it for a bit and then he said something about if there’s sometime any intimate movie scene where there’s only a girl (not any couple, even there’s just the girl), and if he does get hard, I shouldn’t get offended. (He told me this all after I was asking him because we were already in the topic so I was curious)

Why would he get hard at another girl?? If she’s a bit naked and the movie scene is intimate, why’s he thinking any naughty stuff about her? Guys only get hard when they think of naughty stuff right? Or whatever the word is.

I feel extremely insecure and hurt. I want to cry and leave him but I know it’s not a good enough reason to leave him but it’s not okay according to me. He says the **** can’t be controlled and that even tho the scene may be of a girl, he won’t be getting hard CZ of the girl but Cz of the scene.

But the scene only has the girl so he’s just calling the girl the scene. This is too idk what. I don’t feel okay with this. I don’t find it acceptable for me. As in my feelings can’t accept that. He tells me he only finds me attractive and all, then why would he get hard at another girl coming up on a movie? Not okay for me I feel too insecure, help. If I leave he would just lie and say “okay it won’t happen I didn’t mean it”
And he would anyway convince me to stay and I love him so I can’t leave him but I can’t accept this, just not with him 😭
Everyone’s okay with different things, I don’t find my self okay with this...


I think you're over panic, just calm down, you should be worry if he is hard when he watch boy scene
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
So my boyfriend lives in Canada and I live elsewhere so we’re in a long distance relationship and we were sexting. Then we were genuinely talking about how if we were together, he said we would play a romantic movie
And then he would get hard

I asked him “because of the movie?”
He said “well, yeah if there’s any intimate seen”

We talked about it for a bit and then he said something about if there’s sometime any intimate movie scene where there’s only a girl (not any couple, even there’s just the girl), and if he does get hard, I shouldn’t get offended. (He told me this all after I was asking him because we were already in the topic so I was curious)

Why would he get hard at another girl?? If she’s a bit naked and the movie scene is intimate, why’s he thinking any naughty stuff about her? Guys only get hard when they think of naughty stuff right? Or whatever the word is.

I feel extremely insecure and hurt. I want to cry and leave him but I know it’s not a good enough reason to leave him but it’s not okay according to me. He says the **** can’t be controlled and that even tho the scene may be of a girl, he won’t be getting hard CZ of the girl but Cz of the scene.

But the scene only has the girl so he’s just calling the girl the scene. This is too idk what. I don’t feel okay with this. I don’t find it acceptable for me. As in my feelings can’t accept that. He tells me he only finds me attractive and all, then why would he get hard at another girl coming up on a movie? Not okay for me I feel too insecure, help. If I leave he would just lie and say “okay it won’t happen I didn’t mean it”
And he would anyway convince me to stay and I love him so I can’t leave him but I can’t accept this, just not with him 😭
Everyone’s okay with different things, I don’t find my self okay with this...

lol, thank god i'm gay.
can you honestly say you've never gotten turned on by a famous guy? don't women have crushes too? what about that kpop or those one direction boys that seems to drive every female insane nowadays. you can have a bf/gf and still be turned on by others, theres nothing wrong with it.
i've dated plenty of women who watch movies and openly comment about how hot the guy is. doesn't bother me at all. its just a fantasy
His reaction is completely healthy and normal. It's not something you should be getting upset over.
Don't you ever feel attracted to other men? It's not like it's human biology to immediately shut down all forms of attraction when you're in a relationship. :colonhash:
wow a truly idiotic thread... oh and look it's in the relationships section... who could've imagined.
Original post by Anonymous
... Guys only get hard when they think of naughty stuff right? Or whatever the word is....

No...
Original post by Anonymous
We have met, we went to the same school.... now he’s in uni that’s why it’s a long distant relationship now.

Lol Whatever he's not your boyfriend you know. That's the reality of these long distance things. And even if he were your bf, he's not your property. And then you said you wanna "leave him" but you're nowhere in physical contact with each other...lol so what does that mean, leave him? When it's an online relationship....block him? Ok. And? End of the world, no.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Delusion6
can you honestly say you've never gotten turned on by a famous guy? don't women have crushes too? what about that kpop or those one direction boys that seems to drive every female insane nowadays. you can have a bf/gf and still be turned on by others, theres nothing wrong with it.
i've dated plenty of women who watch movies and openly comment about how hot the guy is. doesn't bother me at all. its just a fantasy

I think that’s ridiculous. I’m a realist and personally I have NEVER gotten turned on by a celebrity or famous person. Thinking someone is beautiful is one thing and being aroused by them a completely different thing and on the verge of cheating because emotionally you have signed out of the relationship by fantasising about someone else and wanting to be with them. I have only ever been aroused by my boyfriend EVER. He is honestly the only person who can get my fluids running lool no other man turns me on because I don’t want them, they can be attractive as hell and do anything I will be dry as the Sahara. For me only my boyfriend is the most gorgeous guy in the world and well he’s said the same and I hope he means it but trust me there are boys and girls like that out there.

Getting wet over a celeb, getting boners over a celeb it’s just weird. The fact that he said she should deal with it is so inconsiderate and shows he doesn’t understand how sensitive and emotional the female species are and the need for love and validation from their partner. He SHOULD make her feel like she is the only woman on earth he has eyes for and that she is the most beautiful woman to him - that is a good man. Anyone who treats you any less should be dumped. Girls please raise your standards and know your worth.

The guy sounds insensitive and cold. He’s rude and doesn’t think how much he’ll hurt someone before opening his mouth.
100% sure if you were watching a movie with an extremely attractive man you would get turned on. It’s a two way thing. There’s no reason for you to be concerned when you would do it yourself that’s just how humans are.