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My ex and I had broken up, he told me he lost feelings for me

He lost feelings for me yet stayed as he wasn’t sure. A girl that began flirting heavily with him and started pursuing him she eventually made him kiss her and he broke up with me. He didn’t tell me what about the girl till a week after we broke up but he said his feelings were gone before the flirting began and I believe him. It’s been a year now and we have stayed in contact but we both still feel something is there do I give him another chance?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
He lost feelings for me yet stayed as he wasn’t sure. A girl that began flirting heavily with him and started pursuing him she eventually made him kiss her and he broke up with me. He didn’t tell me what about the girl till a week after we broke up but he said his feelings were gone before the flirting began and I believe him. It’s been a year now and we have stayed in contact but we both still feel something is there do I give him another chance?

Thing is after we broke up and I found out, we stayed on good terms! I understood what he done as we were on the rocks he lost feelings etc. So we remained friends but she didn’t like that and continued to cause problems for us. Then 2 weeks later it hit us both. She was manipulating us and causing issues.

She was a friend of a friend. He got to know her a little and she over heard that me and him were having issues. She was more experiences relationship wise and so offered him advice. We later learnt that she wasn’t offering advice she was pushing us both away and then got inside his head causing him to do what he did. We then found out she’s done it to previous relationships too. Then when she’s succeeded in breaking them up she disappears as she did with us. A mad story. She always forced him into kissing her, he said he didn’t feel comfortable doing it. After we broke up she continued to forcefully kiss him. She then continued to pursue him even when he said he didn’t want nothing with her. I found out then and she twisted it all to make him bad but the truth eventually comes out.

But yeah that’s why I think I could give him a second chance as I know he wouldn’t do any of it again as we both learnt a huge lesson. It’s been a year we both are over it. I forgive him for it and I won’t forget it but I do think he’s an amazing guy and our relationship was beautiful before the problems started. Which I think we’d have resolved had she not put in her 10p. Do you think I should give him another chance?

I mean life isn’t perfect and people aren’t. They make mistakes.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Thing is after we broke up and I found out, we stayed on good terms! I understood what he done as we were on the rocks he lost feelings etc. So we remained friends but she didn’t like that and continued to cause problems for us. Then 2 weeks later it hit us both. She was manipulating us and causing issues.

She was a friend of a friend. He got to know her a little and she over heard that me and him were having issues. She was more experiences relationship wise and so offered him advice. We later learnt that she wasn’t offering advice she was pushing us both away and then got inside his head causing him to do what he did. We then found out she’s done it to previous relationships too. Then when she’s succeeded in breaking them up she disappears as she did with us. A mad story. She always forced him into kissing her, he said he didn’t feel comfortable doing it. After we broke up she continued to forcefully kiss him. She then continued to pursue him even when he said he didn’t want nothing with her. I found out then and she twisted it all to make him bad but the truth eventually comes out.

But yeah that’s why I think I could give him a second chance as I know he wouldn’t do any of it again as we both learnt a huge lesson. It’s been a year we both are over it. I forgive him for it and I won’t forget it but I do think he’s an amazing guy and our relationship was beautiful before the problems started. Which I think we’d have resolved had she not put in her 10p. Do you think I should give him another chance?

I mean life isn’t perfect and people aren’t. They make mistakes.

Me and him were the relationship everybody wanted and looked up to. We were amazing. She couldn’t handle it so she broke us up. Thing is when we realised the truth and confronted her she told us ‘please fix and sort it out between you and get back together I’m done with this bs and I’m sorry’

Anyways, I knew the guy years before we got together and since we became friends we were always known as the people who’d be married to each other. When we got together I swear everyone danced because they expected it! But since we became friends and till even now people will never stop causing problems between us. In the past as friends we would believe it and end the friendship. But we would always make our way back. We then realised what people were doing and stopped listening.

When we got together the same bs people always trying to get in between us! We never let it. Until towards the end. Which I blame on our relationship we both weren’t really trying much to fix it until she came and was pretending to help but was making it worse. By the time we figured out what she did it was too late as his feelings had gone for me.

We stayed in contact as friends. We both haven’t been with anyone else in the year and we still believe something is there. But idk. I believe he is the one still but I don’t know whether to restart again. We always end up back in each other lives no matter what we do.
She sounds like a sociopath. You can't 'win' against a sociopath unless you become one yourself.

I don't have any other advice. Cut her off, and cut off anyone else who carries her influence around with them in your life. Normal people struggle to understand just what these types are capable off, and often don't even realise themselves what is going on. Don't take it lightly.

I knew one girl like this who actually even admitted that this is what she enjoyed doing. She would average 2-3 guys per week, couldn't get up on time to work, was always broke but wearing the best clothes, and at some point tried to latch onto me on the pretext that I was a "good influence" to her. I won't go on. I didn't handle it brilliantly, but I handled it, and she moved away pretty soon after. She wasn't the worst I've come across, maybe half-way there. I figured out soon enough what I was dealing with, and confronted her on it, awkwardly. She called me a "creep", bolted, and now lives in a different town. It's quite hilarious actually, but the experience had me questioning myself a fair bit then.
(edited 3 years ago)
Reply 4
Original post by NonIndigenous
She sounds like a sociopath. You can't 'win' against a sociopath unless you become one yourself.

I don't have any other advice. Cut her off, and cut off anyone else who carries her influence around with them in your life. Normal people struggle to understand just what these types are capable off, and often don't even realise themselves what is going on. Don't take it lightly.

I knew one girl like this who actually even admitted that this is what she enjoyed doing. She would average 2-3 guys per week, couldn't get up on time to work, was always broke but wearing the best clothes, and at some point tried to latch onto me on the pretext that I was a "good influence" to her. I won't go on. I didn't handle it brilliantly, but I handled it, and she moved away pretty soon after. She wasn't the worst I've come across, maybe half-way there. I figured out soon enough what I was dealing with, and confronted her on it, awkwardly. She called me a "creep", bolted, and now lives in a different town. It's quite hilarious actually, but the experience had me questioning myself a fair bit then.

Yeah she’s out of our lives now. It’s more purely do I give my ex another chance?
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah she’s out of our lives now. It’s more purely do I give my ex another chance?

Your relationship was on the rocks and your ex was starting to lose interest in you; that's a couple of big issues which would need addressing before you tried to get back together.

Also, you are putting a lot of blame on this other girl without seeming to realise that your ex isn't blameless in this; he is easily swayed by other people, lets a girl flirt with him without shutting it down, kissed her (and of course he'll say he didn't want to) and that all adds up to red flags for the future. Can you trust him not to listen to gossip? Will he talk to you about how he is feeling? Why weren't things resolved before this girl appeared on the scene? I think the rose-tinted specs need to come off and things be looked at realistically.
Reply 6
Original post by Surnia
Your relationship was on the rocks and your ex was starting to lose interest in you; that's a couple of big issues which would need addressing before you tried to get back together.

Also, you are putting a lot of blame on this other girl without seeming to realise that your ex isn't blameless in this; he is easily swayed by other people, lets a girl flirt with him without shutting it down, kissed her (and of course he'll say he didn't want to) and that all adds up to red flags for the future. Can you trust him not to listen to gossip? Will he talk to you about how he is feeling? Why weren't things resolved before this girl appeared on the scene? I think the rose-tinted specs need to come off and things be looked at realistically.

I do blame him! Which is why I’m hesitating on going back. We have spoken about it all and addressed everything a while back. I’m in a position to forgive. I just mentioned her as she was a huge part in it. My ex is not blameless. In fact he has apologised and proven to me he really did something stupid.

All I did was narrate the story! This is what came from both sides by the end of the all the lies. The truth came out etc

only issue is do I give him the second chance?

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