Boyfriend does not care about me as much

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#1
When we first started dating we would have a constant convo through the day, obviously when we were busy we’d reply hours later but during the day there would be an ongoing convo even if it was just random dumb stuff.
A year and a half later and especially during quarantine he takes hours to reply and when he does it’s just a response to what i asked or said... and he doesn’t continue it. I don’t mind when he’s not at work but now he’s just like ... you’re not even doing anything? He just bought a PS4 but wouldn’t you reply to my texts when your done?

For example i’ll tell him something useful and he will just reply ‘thank you xx’, so i’ll say smth else or ask what he’s doing and he’ll say thank you and i’m playing ps4.... then go offline for 2 hours until i text him again.
If he replies at 5pm , reply at 5:01 but he won’t read it or look at my response til 6. I just feel like he doesn’t care to keep the conversation going. It’s always just him replying to me and me feeling ignored and boring to him.

I’ve spoken to him about this 3 times. He says he’ll try but 3 days later he’s doing the same thing. Tbh i feel super annoying constantly nagging him to reply when usually he was the one obsessed with me. I used to get princess treatment and now i feel like as i’ve began to love him deeper he’s caring less. He also sometimes sleeps on facetime when i’m talking and says he’s tired... (this has happened 6 times in 1.5 years).

What do i do? I’ve sent him a message saying i’m leaving him alone now as i’ve mentioned how much i hate when he just reply ‘ah cool’ and goes offline for 2 hours. So is that the best thing to do?
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#2
Ive deleted the message saying i’m going to leave him alone. It’s pointless and it just shows him i’m waiting around for him to reply for even start a convo with me.
I feel really down about this tbh and it’s affecting my day, i know i seem stupid but i just want to cry Nothing i say gets through to him and i’m scared i’m going to just have to accept that it’s time to move on because he’s too comfortable/bored. I miss the old
him and i don’t know what i’ve done.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#3
can someone please reply
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#4
i don’t get why no one is replying, is the way i talk annoying is that why no one ever cares
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#5
I just don’t get why i’m never enough enough for anyone. I tried to explain how much it hurts me and he didn’t care or even try to have empathy for me he just says i’m overreacting and it’s bad that i get annoyed when he’s busy, and that i do it too. Idk i just dont get why he never cares about how i feel i didn’t say it in a way that was aggressive or mean so i don’t get why how i feel is just not valuable. Sometimes he’ll understand but it has to become an argument where i cry for him to eventually apologise and promise he will care next time .
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Young_
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#6
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Really, I would say talk to him about it. But I see you already have 3 times. Which should be more than enough. If you want to act on it, it should be more authoritative than just talking to him about it now. He might be busy, but it depends on what he's really doing. If he's just playing PS4, it could cause him to not reply for a little while because we guys can get quite tranced into a good game. But if it's all the time, even when he knows you're trying to talk to him he should be taking a lot more care to talk to you. I know one of my friends always goes offline, even when he doesn't want to, to talk with his girlfriend for a few hours every night over the past few weeks. Every guy is different, but really he should be caring more than the way he is showing now. If you do want to take some action on it, you should either learn to live with it and accept this or seriously discuss the relationship with him. If he isn't willing to change after several talks to simply give you some attention, which should be expected by guys when entering a relationship (to give the girl attention), then there is a pretty big problem. This thread is watched for me now so I should see new posts and replies you make.
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nicolegrace1207
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#7
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#7
I think it might just be quarantine getting to him. My boyfriend has done the same thing. We used to text 24/7 and I’d get fast replies but then 2 weeks ago he started replying hours later and then he told me he just needed a break. So we’re on a break now , just because he’s so stressed from quarantine and doesn’t feel like talking to anyone. So that may be the case for your boyfriend too x
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Oxford Mum
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When we first started dating we would have a constant convo through the day, obviously when we were busy we’d reply hours later but during the day there would be an ongoing convo even if it was just random dumb stuff.
A year and a half later and especially during quarantine he takes hours to reply and when he does it’s just a response to what i asked or said... and he doesn’t continue it. I don’t mind when he’s not at work but now he’s just like ... you’re not even doing anything? He just bought a PS4 but wouldn’t you reply to my texts when your done?

For example i’ll tell him something useful and he will just reply ‘thank you xx’, so i’ll say smth else or ask what he’s doing and he’ll say thank you and i’m playing ps4.... then go offline for 2 hours until i text him again.
If he replies at 5pm , reply at 5:01 but he won’t read it or look at my response til 6. I just feel like he doesn’t care to keep the conversation going. It’s always just him replying to me and me feeling ignored and boring to him.

I’ve spoken to him about this 3 times. He says he’ll try but 3 days later he’s doing the same thing. Tbh i feel super annoying constantly nagging him to reply when usually he was the one obsessed with me. I used to get princess treatment and now i feel like as i’ve began to love him deeper he’s caring less. He also sometimes sleeps on facetime when i’m talking and says he’s tired... (this has happened 6 times in 1.5 years).

What do i do? I’ve sent him a message saying i’m leaving him alone now as i’ve mentioned how much i hate when he just reply ‘ah cool’ and goes offline for 2 hours. So is that the best thing to do?
Sounds like he just enjoys playing Ps4, that's all. If I message someone at 5pm, I don't expect them to reply at 5.01pm. Maybe he feels like you are nagging him. Please just chill a bit and don't overthink things. We are all tired as well because we are bored. I am taking naps at about 3pm and never used to.

Thinks are different in lockdown. We are doing the same stuff, day in day out, so it's all a bit boring.

Just pay him some nice compliments, then leave that phone alone! Find something else to do, like the equivalent of his PS4. Do you have any good books you have always wanted to read?

Like the rest of us, he might be worried about the Covid-19 situation. Please just cut him some slack and it won't be long hopefully before you will see him again.
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Lilli22
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#9
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#9
Please don't think that you're annoying or that you're not good enough. TSR is nothing about that.

It's fine to rant online. You can cry if you want, too - crying always makes me feel better about things. It feels like I'm letting off steam.

My ex used to be like this. I just started to reply as late as him and it was fine. I busied myself with a hobby and wouldn't reply to his messages until I knew I had something good to say. I think it's good for space. I really hate ping-pong conversations because I can't be bothered waiting for them to respond.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
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(Original post by Young_)
Really, I would say talk to him about it. But I see you already have 3 times. Which should be more than enough. If you want to act on it, it should be more authoritative than just talking to him about it now. He might be busy, but it depends on what he's really doing. If he's just playing PS4, it could cause him to not reply for a little while because we guys can get quite tranced into a good game. But if it's all the time, even when he knows you're trying to talk to him he should be taking a lot more care to talk to you. I know one of my friends always goes offline, even when he doesn't want to, to talk with his girlfriend for a few hours every night over the past few weeks. Every guy is different, but really he should be caring more than the way he is showing now. If you do want to take some action on it, you should either learn to live with it and accept this or seriously discuss the relationship with him. If he isn't willing to change after several talks to simply give you some attention, which should be expected by guys when entering a relationship (to give the girl attention), then there is a pretty big problem. This thread is watched for me now so I should see new posts and replies you make.
we spoke and he felt that i was being unfair and he didn’t like how i approached it angrily. He did say sorry and so did i haha. i guess it’s ok and i hope he does try harder
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Oxford Mum
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#11
Report 7 months ago
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You don’t need to get angry. It’s all ok. Just chill and don’t be on his case all the time.
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