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boyfriend smokes

so my boyfriend smokes a lot which i don’t like as it’s obvious not good for him and it shows when he tries to run any further than 10m and i have voiced my opinion and concern. is it my place to ask him to stop? i’ve hated smoking since watching my nan pass away and want him to stop but am i just being possessive or whatever? i don’t want it to come across like i’m just not happy with the way he is or anything, i just care for his health

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He sounds like a smart guy. Kudos for picking a Gem :smile:
As a guy who's a med student, a girl who smokes would be a deal breaker. There are just too many potential health issues which could make your life together so difficult in the future. Not to mention all the secondhand smoke. If you can get him to stop that's great.
It is totally fine with not wanting him to smoke. But most people wont listen no matter how much you tell them. You should tell him to leave it by slowly decreasing the intake and switch to gums and other effective methods.
Studies show that smoking cessation is most effective when combined with nicotine replacement therapy. When you get him through the cycle of change and he decides that is happy to change.. I suggest a primary care appointment would be a good starting point. Support him and go with him if need be.
It isn’t your place as such, but I couldn’t date a smoker.
Yum. A guy who smokes is so hot. Ladies sometimes too, depending how they’re carrying their cigarette
:colondollar: this thread is turning sarcastic af! Glad we are a generation of anti-smokers
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Avatar for Lewito
Lewito
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If you don't personally want to date a smoker then feel free to break it off and ride into the sunset, but I wouldn't say it's your place to stop him smoking if he wishes to continue.
I smoke too. There's no problem with you having a problem with it. It is exactly the sort of thing anyone should have a problem with.

You aren't being possessive or controlling if you feel like you want him to stop because you care.

It's all about how you communicate this though. Do it nicely. Gently. And helpfully. If he doesn't want to quit, then he doesn't want to quit. You cannot change that. Just accept it.
You accepted his smoking when you started going out with him so why do you think he should change? Has he asked you to change for him?
tell him to quit then but he probably won't listen
Vape instead
Original post by TheCoolBro
As a guy who's a med student, a girl who smokes would be a deal breaker. There are just too many potential health issues which could make your life together so difficult in the future. Not to mention all the secondhand smoke. If you can get him to stop that's great.


thanks, i’ve mentioned that i don’t like it in the past and he’s said he’ll stop if i want him to but i’ve sort of said not to do it because of me because i told my ex i had a problem with him smoking and when we broke up he went and told my mates how possessive i was
It would be the end of the relationship for me, indeed if I had been aware it would have meant no beginning either.
Original post by MedicWil
You accepted his smoking when you started going out with him so why do you think he should change? Has he asked you to change for him?


he hasn’t asked me to change but it’s not like i want him to smoke because it makes me dislike him or because it annoys me, i just understand that if he continues then it will be very detrimental to his health. if i had a drinking problem and he asked me to stop drinking i would completely understand
Original post by Ki Yung Na
I smoke too. There's no problem with you having a problem with it. It is exactly the sort of thing anyone should have a problem with.

You aren't being possessive or controlling if you feel like you want him to stop because you care.

It's all about how you communicate this though. Do it nicely. Gently. And helpfully. If he doesn't want to quit, then he doesn't want to quit. You cannot change that. Just accept it.


thank you!!
Original post by The Mogg
If you don't personally want to date a smoker then feel free to break it off and ride into the sunset, but I wouldn't say it's your place to stop him smoking if he wishes to continue.


i understand that it isn’t really my place and if he refuses to stop then fair enough but i feel like it would be best to ask first before leaving? i’m really into him and things are going really well but if things continue to work out then i wouldn’t want my kids dad to smoke
Original post by cherlloydfan1
tell him to quit then but he probably won't listen


he’s said he’d quit for me but i’ve never been sure if it was my place to ask
so i mentioned my concern and asked that he’d consider stopping and said that i want to be with him but have never pictured myself being with a smoker forever. he had when we first got together that he’d happily stop for me so i didn’t think that it would be too much of an issue. he’s now said that he doesn’t want to be with me if i’m not happy with it. have i stepped completely out of line???

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