This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Why is it that every time I hear that someone is pregnant I automatically think about
- What are signs of infertility?
- Pre *** can u get pregnant?
- Could I be pregnant?
- What religion was Mary Shelley author of Frankenstein?
- Can I, a 18F date a 20M?
- hiding a relationship from indian parents :(
- Why doesn't my dad know how to show love?
- marriage
- I hate my sister , dads dead.
- How would most Muslims react if a Muslim girl got married to a non-Muslim?
- Weird attraction
- What do you think is disgusting that everyone else seems to like?
- A bit of a long read! - bf and his past impacting me
- Boyfriend all of a sudde wants to get married after I started making a lot of money?
- Marriage
- Question for Muslim Brothers?
- Why dont women do it??
- pregnant?
- Would marriage last if you get married at 22?
Had an affair with married man now I am pregnant
So I hit off well with this guy from work and things happened back at my flat only I find out he is married after he didn't tell me and I got an angry messaged from his wife he comes after after says sorry but also says the marriage is dead and wants a way out and course we and up sleeping together again this carried on for another couple weeks till he confesses that he can't leave his wife as he has a kid with her. So don't see him for a month then I find out im pregnant i know I was stupid for having all that unprotected sex so I message him and I get no answer, do I keep trying? Do I message his wife? I'm broken as he ended it all anyway but could message his wife make her throw him out and he comes to me ?
Scroll to see replies
I’m sorry to tell you but this is mostly on you. You knew he was married, you chose to have unprotected sex, you were irresponsible. You have done all you can do so now it’s time be responsible and be the best mother to this child you can be. If he doesn’t want anything to do with it, then it’s his loss, although I’m sure he’d still legally have to put some money into it so you won’t be alone financially. Hoping his wife throws him out so he comes to you is as insane as it is stupid. Why would you want to be with a man like that anyway?
I might get an abortion
Original post by Anonymous
but could message his wife make her throw him out and he comes to me ?
That absolutely will not happen
Original post by Anonymous
I might get an abortion
As someone who’s not ok with killing human beings I’d recommend against that. Just because it’s legal doesn’t make it moral.
Original post by Anonymous
So I hit off well with this guy from work and things happened back at my flat only I find out he is married after he didn't tell me and I got an angry messaged from his wife he comes after after says sorry but also says the marriage is dead and wants a way out and course we and up sleeping together again this carried on for another couple weeks till he confesses that he can't leave his wife as he has a kid with her. So don't see him for a month then I find out im pregnant i know I was stupid for having all that unprotected sex so I message him and I get no answer, do I keep trying? Do I message his wife? I'm broken as he ended it all anyway but could message his wife make her throw him out and he comes to me ?
congrats you played yourself 🤡 he would definitely not go to you if his wife kicked him out. He clearly used you and now doesn’t want anything to do with you, especially if he knew you were pregnant
Original post by Jamie_1712
As someone who’s not ok with killing human beings I’d recommend against that. Just because it’s legal doesn’t make it moral.
It’s a not a human being until it can function on its own. Do not guilt this person when they have been put in a tremendously stressful situation. If an abortion is what is best for you as you do not think you can support the baby (especially by yourself as the dad will most likely not come around) then make the best decision for yourself. If that’s an abortion then that’s what you must decide and you shouldn’t feel any guilt for putting yourself first
Original post by Jamie_1712
As someone who’s not ok with killing human beings I’d recommend against that. Just because it’s legal doesn’t make it moral.
and the other options OP suggested are?
Original post by black tea
and the other options OP suggested are?
There are 4 choices, abstinence, contraception, motherhood, adoption. As they chose against at the first two, I think two more options is plenty.
(edited 4 years ago)
Can you elaborate on that please?
She CHOSE to have sex with a married man, without contraception, and now she's pregnant with a child she clearly doesn't want. Who's the stupid one here?
She CHOSE to have sex with a married man, without contraception, and now she's pregnant with a child she clearly doesn't want. Who's the stupid one here?
Please keep this thread on topic. If you wish to discuss the ethics or morals regarding abortion, please start a new thread in the debate forum. Thank you.
Is his name Boris?
Oh dear oh dear...
Only marginally more inventive than 'my wife doesn't understand me'
Oh right, didn't see that coming...
No, I bet you didn't get any answer.
Message his wife and say what? "Hi, I'm the cheap little scrubber who homewrecked your marriage - fancy kicking him out on the off-chance he might come to me'? Not a good idea.
Essentially, the best you're going to get is to make sure this 'man' pays for the upbringing of your child. It's unlikely he'll want anything to do with either you or your child whilst he 'make reparations' with his wife. And she'll probably take him back: they always do.
Original post by Anonymous
but also says the marriage is dead and wants a way out
Only marginally more inventive than 'my wife doesn't understand me'
and course we and up sleeping together again this carried on for another couple weeks till he confesses that he can't leave his wife as he has a kid with her.
Oh right, didn't see that coming...
So don't see him for a month then I find out im pregnant i know I was stupid for having all that unprotected sex so I message him and I get no answer, do I keep trying?
No, I bet you didn't get any answer.
Do I message his wife? I'm broken as he ended it all anyway but could message his wife make her throw him out and he comes to me ?
Message his wife and say what? "Hi, I'm the cheap little scrubber who homewrecked your marriage - fancy kicking him out on the off-chance he might come to me'? Not a good idea.
Essentially, the best you're going to get is to make sure this 'man' pays for the upbringing of your child. It's unlikely he'll want anything to do with either you or your child whilst he 'make reparations' with his wife. And she'll probably take him back: they always do.
In my opinion if you are really unwilling to look after a child the most ethical option is to give it up for adoption as soon as they are born so they can be raised by a couple who really want a child...
Are you happy to raise the child alone without his support? then no problem, keep it
Are you in a position where you don't want to go through with the pregnancy or feel you won't be able to care for the child once born? then no problem, you can abort
Are you in a position where you don't want to go through with the pregnancy or feel you won't be able to care for the child once born? then no problem, you can abort
Original post by Anonymous
I might get an abortion
I would, in that situation. All the nonsense about ethics is just that - nonsense. There is nothing worse than going ahead with a pregnancy you didn't plan to give birth to child you didn't want.
Original post by Anonymous
I might get an abortion
You're in a difficult position but you will need to think clearly about what to do and not do rash things like telling the wife or getting an abortion on a whim. You've got to be sure what you're doing is the best for you and those involved. It looks like this guy won't be around much anymore, he would have left the wife already if he was serious about you, so it's going to be hard but don't make things worse by doing things that will hurt others.
Messaging his wife is a no-no in my view, much as he does not deserve her.
Related discussions
- Why is it that every time I hear that someone is pregnant I automatically think about
- What are signs of infertility?
- Pre *** can u get pregnant?
- Could I be pregnant?
- What religion was Mary Shelley author of Frankenstein?
- Can I, a 18F date a 20M?
- hiding a relationship from indian parents :(
- Why doesn't my dad know how to show love?
- marriage
- I hate my sister , dads dead.
- How would most Muslims react if a Muslim girl got married to a non-Muslim?
- Weird attraction
- What do you think is disgusting that everyone else seems to like?
- A bit of a long read! - bf and his past impacting me
- Boyfriend all of a sudde wants to get married after I started making a lot of money?
- Marriage
- Question for Muslim Brothers?
- Why dont women do it??
- pregnant?
- Would marriage last if you get married at 22?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 3 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 3 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
